Inside the Puzzle
by iXhaveXnoXlife
Summary: Yugi struggles to cope with saying goodbye to Atem and his grandpa, but someone is trying to weave his way back into Yugi's life.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or its characters. No profit is being made off this story. The story and any original characters introduced are mine.

 **Rating:** T; cursing, self-infliction, drug/alcohol abuse. This may change as the story progresses.

 **Summary:** Yugi struggles with the loss of two very important people in his life, and he's not dealing well. As he tries to find ways of coping and healing, something is trying to force itself back into Yugi's life. The question is on whether or not it will properly integrate into Yugi's life, or break him completely.

* * *

Yugi Mutou was standing in front of a river bank, his head pointed to the sky, eyes staring at nothing. He wasn't mentally in the world his body stood in now—he was lost within the depths of his mind. He was recreating his soul room, a place in himself he no longer had admission access to anymore. He imagined the way it used to look—toys, white innocence, no corruption—and what it could potentially look like now. After his loss, he imagined it to be rather broken. Riddled with disappointment and tainted with loss. He was a young adult now, no longer a teenager and in high school. He worked a full-time job and attended a community college, much to the dismay of his mother. His grades afforded him a university with room and board, but the local college had all the classes he would need to obtain his Bachelor's degree. He lived in an apartment with his best friend, Jounouchi Katsuya. They split their bills as equally as possible and took turns buying groceries for each week. In truth, Yugi couldn't ask for a better roommate. _Except for…_

He shook his head. That was then, when he was much shorter and still being bullied in school by his taller peers. He'd proven he could stand on his two feet and he took the lessons and strength left to him as motivators to help him push through in life. At times, though; he felt like he was falling too far back to truly move forward. Today was one of those days. His depression would catch up to him and the grief he had would consume him. He'd contemplated suicide more times than he would dare to admit to his friends, but he never went through with it. He'd read a book on the theology of dimensions before, and—while he had no idea if it had any accuracy—he didn't dare compromise his ending. It was that long-lasting desire to see _him_ again at the end of his journey.

The waves of river were starting to rise. They splashed Yugi's shoes, but he made no attempt to distance himself. He felt the wetness soak the bottom of his pants, but his eyes remained glued to the sky. The clouds were starting to cover the blue sky, coating it with dark gray. It was going to rain soon. However, he paid it no mind as he continued to think. He remembered that final fight. Even though it killed his soul and broke his heart, he knew in his mind that what he was doing was the right thing. If there was one thing in the world Yugi _wasn't_ , it was selfish. He knew when to let go when it was for the better. _He_ deserved it even if he personally didn't wish for it. He came at Yugi with his best, using the infamous God cards to beat him; and still, Yugi overcame him. In his victory also came the biggest loss he'd ever suffered. That was, until, he lost his grandfather a couple years later. It had been another huge blow to his heart, still slowly putting itself together from his previous loss.

He'd often thought it wasn't fair. But life wasn't fair. Life was cruel and merciless and hard. It threw things at you that you didn't think you had the strength to deal with. Yugi had never felt so weak in his life. The temptation to give in was beyond strong, but his ties to his friends and the strong desire to see _him_ was stronger. He forced himself to come back to reality, begrudgingly lowering his head to face the splashing river, before turning around. The rain would come soon and he preferred not to trudge mud into the apartment.

Yugi didn't quite make it home before the rain came. It started lightly enough, only sprinkling. But then it started to downpour, and that's when he decided to start running. It ended badly, however, when in his rush, he failed to see a decent-sized puddle in his path. His feet splashed into it, effectively soaking his sneakers. Yugi was known for experiencing domino effects, so of course his feet had to find a slippery patch of grass that caused him to slip and fall into the wet earth. His legs, butt, and hands were now covered in mud. He cursed out loud, not caring if anyone heard him, and got up as quickly as possible. He was not having a good day.

Instantly, he thought of someone who could instantly make his pain go away. To make him forget about everything wrong in his day and make it all right again. To a stranger, it would be assumed that he was talking about a lover. Was he? It was never established, and Yugi had never put too much thought into it. All he knew was at that time, his relationship with the other was too important—too significant—to put a petty label on.

If Yugi wasn't so busy trying not to make a second visit with the mud on his venture for home, he would've put more thought into what kind of relationship they truly had. It could wait, he figured. He was almost to the door of his apartment. He fished out his key while still running and came to a skidding stop as his shoes touched the single block of cement that was put up in front of his door. He shoved the key into place and turned, practically ripping it out when the door was unlocked and opened. Closing it behind him, he shoved the key back into his pocket and carefully took his shoes off. He would have to wash them to keep the mud from caking, but he wasn't compelled to care much now. He desperately needed to rid himself of his wet clothes before he got sick. He thanked whatever higher being existed for his roommate not being home as he ran up the stairs to his room. He quickly stripped himself down to his boxers, haphazardly throwing his wet clothes into a laundry basket before digging through his dresser to find pajamas. _Fuck it_ , he thought, getting redressed. _It's too late in the day and I'm not going anywhere anyway_. Satisfied with what he was wearing, he grabbed the hamper with his clothes and took them into the hallway where the washer and dryer resided. He shoved them into the washer, poured in a healthy amount of liquid detergent, set it, and slammed the door shut. They were all darks anyway—he hadn't worn any of his brighter clothes in a while. His pajamas were a plaid pattern with shades of red and black. He tossed the hamper on top of the dryer and made his way downstairs.

He dropped himself onto the loveseat—an old, dark green thing that could fit two comfortably—and let himself sink into the cushions. He remembered when he had Jounouchi had obtained it. It was a throw-out piece that was no longer desired by its' previous owners. It looked decent to the boys, so they grabbed it. They found out that it needed to be mended in a couple places, but that was no issue for them. The furniture in their apartment didn't really mesh—the recliner was black leather, the couch with the hide-away mattress was blue with small pink flowers, the tables all from separate sets—but it was cozy and home. There was a decent sized entertainment center with a large section in the center that housed their flat screen television, a space beneath it that held their movies, a section to the left of the television with a clear door to show their stereo, and a top shelf that had been adorned by photos. The newest thing that was on that entertainment center was their television—a fifty-dollar purchase that Jounouchi had haggled off Seto when the man had insisted that it was too outdated for him. "Haggled" because Seto couldn't fathom _why_ Jounouchi would bother paying anything on something as "carbon-dated" as _that_. Apart from the photos, their furniture and accessories were generally obtained from dumpster-diving and thrift stores.

Finding himself with a little more energy than he thought, Yugi forced himself off the loveseat that was slowly eating him to look at the photos on top of the entertainment center. There was a group photo of the entire gain in the middle, Honda and Jounouchi in another, Honda and Anzu, Serenity and Jounouchi, Ryuji with Honda and Jounouchi, and a final photo with just _him_ alone. Yugi frowned deeply when he looked at it. He remembered exactly when he had taken that photo. He was making silly faces to see the other smile, and when he finally achieved his goal, Anzu took the photo. It used to be his favorite photo. He would admire it, the other often catching him staring at the photo. He would call Yugi by his nickname and tease him for staring at him, when all he had to do was call for the other, and he would come. Why stare at a photo when you could look at the real thing, right?

Yugi suddenly felt very angry. He reached an arm up and gripped the photo harshly. There was a split second where he wondered if the faux wood would break, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. "Bastard," he whispered harshly. "You said forever. You said you wanted to stay with me…" Hot tears strolled down his face and dropped onto the photo. He hadn't realized he held it down so low. He felt like he was towering over him, punishing the other for abandoning him. Stuck as he was in his fit of emotions, he couldn't bring himself to smash the photo. His grip on it became impossibly tight, and this time, the frame did crack. Instantly, he dropped the photo. It landed on its' back, but no further damage showed. His anger was gone, but his depression was full-blown. That smile was unwavering as he looked back from the floor, but Yugi felt no comfort. He silently bent down to pick it up and set it back on top of the entertainment center. He paused when the photo was back in its' place, but he didn't drop his arm. Instead, he positioned the photo lying down, face forward. He couldn't bear to look at his face anymore. He realized distantly that he was still crying, but he made no attempt to wipe them away. Emotionally, he felt too exhausted.

He forced himself to walk away and sit back down on the loveseat. When he felt it start to eat his body, he simply allowed it. His body was aching from the fall and his mind was blank from his emotional outburst. His eyes were drooping more and more and, even though he willed himself to stay awake, he was fighting a losing battle. Before he realized it, his eyes had closed completely and he was out like a candle being blown out.

* * *

Yugi felt someone gently shake his shoulder and whispering his name, trying to wake him up. Slowly, he opened his eyes, finding the process much more difficult than he anticipated. He couldn't remember if he had stopped crying before he fell asleep. If he hadn't, then his eyes had definitely been glued shut by his tears drying in his eyelids. He rubbed at them harshly until he was able to open them more. It wasn't all the way, but they were open wide enough so he could see his roommate, Jounouchi, standing in front of him. Brown eyes filled with concern as he looked at the other man, his lips pursed tightly together. Yugi gave him a faint smile, though he didn't move from his current position.

"What time is it?" he asked, voice hoarse and soft. He mentally winced. _Damn_.

Jounouchi's eyebrows raised as he took in the sound of his friend's voice. "Yugi… you were crying again, weren't you?"

Yugi lowered his eyes, not even bothering to give the blonde an answer. He didn't react when he saw Jounouchi's torso move out from in front of him to drop down beside him on the loveseat. It ate him too. He flinched slightly when the blonde wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him tightly against him. There was a silence between them before Jounouchi spoke up.

"What did you have today, Yuug?" He kept his voice chipper, hoping to lighten the mood. "Was it school or work? I know you try not to work on days you have class." He looked down at the other and gave him a bright smile.

Although Yugi greatly appreciated his friend's change in subjects, he wasn't thrilled about having to talk, due to his current vocal situation—broken, hoarse, pathetic. He shrugged, moving Jounouchi's arm. "I had class. Just one today. My second class got called off."

"Oh, nice," came the response. "So how did you spend the rest of your day?"

"Thinking," Yugi replied flatly.

Jounouchi gave a patient but inquisitive look. He wouldn't pry if Yugi really didn't want to tell him, and Yugi added that to his long list of reasons why Jounouchi was the best roommate.

"I was…" Yugi faltered. Did he _really_ want to bring this up again? This certainly wouldn't have been the first time Yugi had cried himself to sleep over such a touchy subject, but he felt a nagging feeling in the back of his head that his friends were growing tired with him and his wallowing.

Jounouchi tightened his fingers around Yugi's shoulders, both in an effort to show comforting support and to prompt him to finish his sentence. Yugi smiled appreciatively.

"I was thinking about him again," he answered softly, looking down at his hands. They were clasped tightly together.

The blonde smiled sadly. Even though that particular event happened three years ago, it didn't surprise him that Yugi would still feel as awful as he did. Though, in truth, he'd really hoped that Yugi would have made better progress than this. Everyone dealt with death differently, but he couldn't help but think that an entire half of Yugi's soul had been ripped out when he had been permanently separated from the other man who inhabited his body. He felt terrible for his friend—wished he could suck out the pain and sorrow from his body—but he couldn't. He felt so helpless as Yugi continued to struggle with the loss. Jounouchi sighed and Yugi took it incredibly wrong.

He was struggling to pull himself off the couch and out of the blonde's one-armed embrace. "I'm sorry," he muttered softly. "I know you guys are tired of me moping about it…"

"H-hey now!" Jounouchi pushed himself up much easier than Yugi did and reached for the man walking briskly away from him. He caught the other's arm, stopping him. "I'm not annoyed, Yuug."

His voice was calm and patient, much like how _his_ used to be in times of Yugi's emotional outbursts. It had been so nice to have such a strong anchor to keep him from floating away. Yugi turned his head around to face Jounouchi. "You're… not annoyed?"

The blonde shook his head. "Of course not. I just… I just wish I knew how to make it easier for you." Yugi looked down at this. "You've taken it so hard and it bugs me. You're not dealing, Yuug. I know you're not. You push it all aside and forget about it until it festers."

"No…" Yugi said quietly, shaking his head. "Not forget. Never. I think about him all the time, Jou. _All the time_. Whatever isn't work or school or friends, it's him. Always him. I think about… how I could've forfeited the match somehow. I knew him so well. I knew what he'd play to beat me. And… I bested him. I know he put in his best effort. I mean, what self-respecting _King of Games_ throws a duel over a petty friendship?" The question was rhetorical, but it was enough to piss off the blonde still holding his arm.

"Shut up," he spat, though the anger didn't reach his hand. "You know damn well he didn't think so poorly of you. You really couldn't see just how _proud_ he was of you? You were everything to him, Yuug. When you sacrificed your soul to save him, he was devastated. I don't think I'd ever seen him so broken."

Yugi whipped his head away, forcing himself to look ahead at the photo he'd placed face-side down on the entertainment center. He knew Jounouchi was right, but he just wasn't ready to accept it. There was still so much about it all that he still needed to deal with. He was so exhausted, so tired of always crying and his depression. Slowly, he turned his head to face his friend. Jounouchi waited patiently. "Jou…" His voice sounded more broken than he anticipated.

Jounouchi's face fell into one of sorrow as he reached forward and gave Yugi a full-blown hug, keeping him tightly against him. "It's okay, Yuug."

Yugi shook his head. "No… it's not." He lifted his head to meet with the other's brown eyes. "I want it to stop. I want to feel happy again. I'm tired of feeling like this. It's exhausting…"

"You'll get there, Yuug," the other reassured. "I'll help you. Baby steps. Promise. You just gotta let me in. Promise you'll talk to me when you start feeling miserable?" He smiled when Yugi nodded. "Maybe when I can't talk to you right away, you can keep a journal with you and write your thoughts and feelings down? Cheesy as fuck, but I think it'll help. Like, show it to me when you can or something? I just hate seeing you deal with this all by yourself."

"Yeah," was all Yugi could bring himself to say. It seemed like a lot to expect from Jou, honestly. Frankly, Yugi was more worried about tiring out Jou, than he was of himself not listening to Jou's idea. He decided to voice his opinion. "Are you sure this is a good idea? It's not taking on too much?"

Jounouchi scoffed. "No way! If you can work _and_ go to school, then there's no reason why I can't go to work and help my best friend in the process. I'll even buy you a really nice notebook and some pens so you can write your thoughts down. How's that?"

The other man smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Jou. I don't know what I'd do without you."

The blonde blushed a light pink at Yugi's words. The other really knew how to make him turn into a sap. He wanted to see Yugi get better and be happy again. He was always so determined and free-spirited. He always thought of others before himself. Truly, he was a selfless person. He deserved to be happy. He knew that's what Yugi's other self would want. When Yugi yawned, Jounouchi was brought back to reality. He'd woken the other from an emotionally induced slumber, and he could see that the other could really go for some rest. He smiled warmly at him.

Yugi gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I'm really tired." He anticipated much more than a simple release of his arm, but that was all he got. He looked up at his roommate, who simply said:

"Goodnight, Yugi."

"Goodnight, Jounouchi."

With nothing else said, Yugi walked up the stairs to the bathroom to brush his teeth before walking into his room. It was another aspect of his life that he had gotten used to sharing. Even if the other hadn't physically taken up any space on his bed, it was like sharing with another person. That warmth was gone—had been gone—and the cold wasn't letting go. He sat down on his bed and looked at a purple cloth. It wasn't lying down straight, but Yugi knew why. What used to house the Millennium Puzzle now contained the deck his other self had used to duel against him. Also inside was the cartouche the former Pharaoh had sneakily stuck into Yugi's pants' pocket. He couldn't bring himself to lift he cloth, though. Not yet, anyway. He settled in bed and no sooner did he cover himself, did he fall asleep. He was utterly exhausted.

* * *

Please review. They are great motivators.


	2. Chapter 2

When Yugi awoke the following morning to his alarm, he couldn't help but feel warmth and comfortable. It was such a similar feeling when he would go to sleep with the puzzle lying still next to him. It was strange, but he felt the familiar presence of his other self— _Atem_ —around him. Yugi knew that couldn't be possible, but it was just too familiar. He was too afraid to actually sit up, opting only to shut his alarm off. Still, he made a chance move. Softly, he spoke up.

"Atem?" He waited, but nothing appeared before him. "Atem? Is that you?" Still, there was no response. Yugi was becoming disheartened, his hopes dropping. He scolded himself for even lifting them in the first place. "Other me…" He clenched his eyes shut tightly, trying to will back the tears that threatened to spill. After finding himself successful, he threw the blanket off his body in a hurried motion, incredibly upset with himself and angry at everything around him. Distantly, he remembered that he never fixed the photo, but he was more interested in just getting out of bed. He had to work today. That comforting feeling didn't go away, however—it wrapped itself around Yugi, filling his body. As good as it made him feel, he felt like he was breaking into more pieces.

He rummaged through his dresser until he put an outfit together—a black tank top and blue jeans—and stormed to the bathroom. He closed the door none-too-gently and practically ripped off his pajamas. The water may have been a tad too hot, but it benefited him in this case. The added heat soothed his tense muscles more than it burned his skin. As the water poured onto his body, he used his time to think about what was happening in his life. He counted the things that were positive—a full-time job, college he was halfway done with, an amazing roommate, friends who always had his back—and then wondered why all these accomplishments meant nothing to him. It took just _one single person_ to break his whole world and make everything else insignificant. What the hell was wrong with him? It had taken one single person to destroy his entire world, and he felt incredibly stupid for letting it.

His friend's crossing was well justified. He _more_ than deserved to be where he was now. In Yugi's opinion, it should've been handed to him on a silver platter and had him whisked away into restful peace. After all, he'd sacrificed his life, ripped his soul out of his body, trapped his memory—and a great evil—away to save the world, and spent centuries locked away inside a puzzle. This was all to avoid a repeat of history. It was far too selfish of Yugi not to allow Atem that, even if it was the very last thing he ever wanted. His grandpa had told him, a few months after the ordeal, that that had been the very fate of the one who had put the puzzle together. Atem couldn't have known that, though. That was most likely folklore. Yugi figured that, by sealing his soul inside the puzzle, Atem was condemning himself from being able to cross over in order to prevent the repeat of what happened back then.

On the other hand, though; Yugi also believed that Atem deserved to live the life that had been taken away from him at such a young age. A second chance to live. He hadn't chosen to inherit his position as the Pharaoh or the responsibilities. It was forced onto him and he did his duty. It didn't mean he didn't care, but it wouldn't have been his first choice. The wish aspect of completing the Millennium Puzzle had also been folklore developed over the years. Atem had explained this to Yugi a few days after Jounouchi had been under Marik's control—it wasn't him or the magic behind the puzzle that had given Yugi his friends—it was his own doing. He had told Yugi that he was such a kind and selfless person. He stood up for anyone who needed it, even if he wasn't as physically strong. The sentiment had made Yugi gush.

Deciding he was clean enough, he cut the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel to dry off. He dressed up and went downstairs. Jounouchi was sitting in the kitchen at the table, reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. He looked up at Yugi and smiled softly.

"Mornin', Yuug," he greeted. "Were you having a hard time this morning? I could hear you thumpin' around."

Yugi blushed slightly, inwardly cursing himself. "Sorry. My blanket wouldn't let me go." He received a single nod in response, but nothing questioning the answer that was given. "Do you have to work today too?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. They want me to work until close, but I have no idea why I'm up now. It's not like I have to be there until two… What about you? You workin' today?"

The other man nodded, copying the former's. His full-time job came from taking over his grandfather's game shop. In the despair of losing him, Yugi couldn't allow his shop to close. His mother helped him with the legal matters of getting ownership switched over to him, but it was with hesitation that she had done as such. His mother had greater aspirations for her son, after all. As if the decision to attend community college wasn't disappointing enough, but now he was taking over a _game_ shop. As much as she wished for something more, she still supported her son; though with the occasional quip about doing something better. Yugi tended to ignore those. He worked there every day until five, and then on his days off, Honda would work. Yugi hadn't asked him this personally, but Honda didn't like the idea of Yugi working every single day, so he offered to work two days a week for him. Whatever days Yugi needed for school, Honda would work for him. Yugi wished he had a better way of thanking Honda, but the man had simply insisted on a weekly check.

"So that means you won't see me until tomorrow probably," Jounouchi concluded. "Don't wait up for me, okay?" There was a moment of silence before he spoke up again. "I think I'm gonna go back to bed. I don't even have to be up. I know you do, so have a good day, okay?" He stood up and gave Yugi a pat on the shoulder before walking up the stairs to his room.

Yugi looked at the clock on the oven—he still had a good hour before he needed to be at the shop and open up. He opened with the stock of the latest video game coming, he hoped that it would be busy. Not that his store was lacking in business. He was doing wonderfully. His grandfather would've been proud. He had a few fliers sitting behind the counter at the store that he needed to put up, but that wasn't really significant at the moment. His thoughts drifted back to when he woke up. He felt so comfortable and warm, like he was being enveloped by someone who cared deeply for him. When he stepped out of the shower and made his way downstairs, that feeling went away. He wondered why he felt it so strongly in his room, but nowhere else?

A sudden realization struck Yugi. He quickly made his way up the stairs to his room, being mindful of Jounouchi, and sat down on his bed. This time, he felt nothing. He didn't understand. Why wasn't he experiencing it now? Was it all in his mind? _No… I definitely felt it_. It was odd to him. His head turned to the direction of his coffee table. Covered by the purple cloth was the box that housed the Millennium Puzzle. During his first year of saying goodbye to the Pharaoh, Yugi couldn't bear to look at it without bursting into tears. His solution had been to cover it and forget it. Oft times, though, he didn't. His eyes ventured to it constantly when he went past it. Inside the box contained the deck Atem had used against him in their duel. His hand reached toward the table to remove the cloth, but he found himself stopping once his fingers touched the soft fabric.

He sighed and dropped his hand. With the shake of his head, he pushed himself off the bed to make his way downstairs again. He needed a cup of coffee and a smack to the face. He entered the kitchen, grabbed a cup from the cupboard, and poured himself a cup of coffee. He drank it black anymore. He'd never been much of a coffee drinker before, but after the first few months, his worsening insomnia had made proper sleep down right impossible. At first, the bitter taste had him grimacing, but he'd forced himself to finish. The caffeine had done wonders in waking him up, so he stuck with it. Now, Yugi loved the taste. He'd made it a point once to make fun of Jounouchi for his use of sugar and milk, saying that it was a good way of sabotaging a good cup of coffee; but then he'd retaliated by saying that Yugi's heart was as black as his coffee. It was far from the truth in Jounouchi's eyes—and a complete joke—but Yugi often felt that way anymore.

The first drink went down, and Yugi felt the scorching heat warm his throat and chest. It was in no comparison the comforting warmth he'd felt earlier, but this was familiar and comforting enough. He sighed, satisfied, and made his way to the table to read the newspaper Jounouchi had been reading. On the front of the second page, dead in the center, was the plaque that was housed at the museum he'd gone to a few years ago—the one that told the prophecy of the fight between the Nameless Pharaoh and a member of his council. Of course, nobody knew the truth. After all, the event happened over 3,000 years ago. Even though Yugi knew what happened, how would he explain how he knew? _"I went inside my other self's soul and entered his memory?"_

 _Yeah,_ he thought. _Totally believable to a stranger._

Still, he read the article. An archaeologist who'd been inspired by the plaque decided he needed to know the truth behind the supposed battle. He'd flown out to Egypt once talking to Ichizu Ishtar and learning of a door that led to the Underworld. He'd been intrigued by this, saying it was only folklore that had been made up and passed down by the bored and the impressionable. In his research, he'd discovered the existence of the Millennium Items; objects made of solid gold with mystical properties. The archaeologist is noted to have scoffed the tidbit, saying it was just added myth to glorify something ill-understood.

Yugi rolled his eyes. As knowledgeable as the archaeologist was, he was still a complete idiot. Still, he read on, finding a photo of the door, but not knowing how it opened. It was also stated that he planned to explore the tomb of the Nameless Pharaoh. In all the years that had passed, and with the facts that people in year's past had tried to excavate it, there was still little to know knowledge on just who this young pharaoh was. They didn't even know his name. Yugi did. He was becoming incredibly disinterested in the article and the archaeologist who was so interested in finding the facts.

One thing did catch his eye, though. He'd seen the puzzle fall into the earth once Atem had crossed over. It had remained dormant for so long because the final element had never been laid to rest. Yugi had wanted to keep the puzzle, but fate had other plans when it went falling down. This archaeologist, though—this Dr. Haasan—wanted to dig the ground up that was in front of the door. He wanted to see if there was anything beneath it. Yugi's heart skipped a beat and a flurry of emotions whipped through him. He threw the paper in the trash, downed the rest of his coffee, and exited the kitchen. His throat was on fire, he needed to put his shoes on, and he should _absolutely_ go to work.

* * *

 _Stupid fucking doctor_ , Yugi thought bitterly.

Sometimes, Yugi made some incredibly rash decisions; many of them were made to help others at the expense of his own health. This one was just plain stupid. Typically, Yugi made sure to stay an hour over so he had time to stock the shelves, sweep, and dust the place. He then would come in half an hour early to go over all the transactions to make sure everything evened out. There was only one register and two workers, so slip-ups were far and few. Also, the vendor who was coming to drop off the shipment for the new game had called the day before to say he wouldn't be able to make it until after ten. Which meant leaving the old fliers up until then. He supposed he could take them down to get ready, though. After all, he had well over an hour until he had to open the store. He then thought of making a handwritten sign to tell his customers to expect the shipment later on in the day.

He sighed and reached into his pocket to take out his key, unlocking the door, and then re-locking it once he was inside. It was relatively dark thanks to all but one set of lights being off, but the dark didn't bother Yugi. He walked behind the counter to grab a single sheet of printer paper from beneath the till, and then grabbed a marker from a drawer nearby. He didn't want to waste too many sheets, so he spent a minute to think of what the sign should say, as well as the placement of the lettering. When he felt like he got it, he smirked a bit to himself and began writing. When he was finished, he stood straight up to see how it looked. His eyes widened and his mouth hung open. He was bordering on tears. The paper read:

I'LL SEE YOU SOON, PARTNER

Yugi desperately wanted to grab the paper, crumple it up, and throw it in the trash. He even willed his hand to move, but the closest he even got to that, were his fingers gripping the paper hard enough to crinkle it a bit. It was much easier to let it fall back onto the counter. He couldn't help that is body hurdled into itself, or his hands covering his face; or even the tears that spilled so freely from his eyes. He was devastated. He wanted to feel better, not to wallow in grief for the rest of his life.

"Atem, you asshole," he sobbed. "Why? Why are you doing this to me?" He cried even harder and could no longer formulate the insulting words he wanted to rip out. He was suddenly very thankful for the excessive amount of time he'd given himself.

He was too involved in his crying to notice the hand that was moving slowly on his back, creating circles of warmth in their wake. They were incredibly soothing and Yugi was starting to calm down. His breaths were starting to stabilize and his tears were slowing down. He had no knowledge of the hand being there until he felt something touch his face. He physically jumped at the pressure—which felt very much like a warm hand touching his face—but there was no hand when he looked. There wasn't even a body that could control the hand to do such a thing in the first place. Yugi shook his head vehemently and the warmth disappeared from his cheek. He raised his own hand slowly up to touch the cheek that had felt so much heat. Maybe he shouldn't open the store today. Maybe he should just come back when the vendor was on his way and just reopen the following day. Honda would be working that tomorrow so Yugi could go to school. Honda could handle busy times just fine. Yugi would just make sure everything was set up so Honda wouldn't have to worry about anything else.

At this particular time, though, he needed to go home and talk to Jounouchi. That paper needed a second opinion—a sane one that wasn't being controlled by one too many emotions. He scowled at himself for even doing this, but he felt like his customers were entitled to something other than the dubious "closed" sign, so he lifted himself from the floor to grab another piece of printer paper.

"Okay, Atem," he said quietly, his voice damaged from crying. "Don't screw me up this time." As delusional as it sounded to talk to his other self and _knowing_ the man wasn't even there as a spirit made him shake his head at himself. What the hell was he being reduced to? He wrote on the paper, reached for the scotch tape, and then walked over to the door to hang up the makeshift sign. Satisfied, he walked back to the counter to replace the tape and to grab the paper his other self had supposedly written on. He exited the building, making sure to lock the door, and then made his way for home.

He wasn't happy with himself for doing this, but he felt that, in his best interests and mental well-being, it was necessary. Yugi knew he was doing a terrible job at taking care of himself, but even in his denial, he couldn't shake the feeling he was getting in the pit of his stomach.

CLOSED UNTIL TOMORROW DUE TO PERSONAL ISSUES.


	3. Chapter 3

Once Yugi completed his task of coming home, he walked up the stairs and into Jounouchi's room. He felt bad, but he really needed to talk to his roommate about what he thought of the note that had been written on the paper. The man was very much asleep, but Yugi pressed on and shook his shoulder, saying his name quietly. Jounouchi grumbled a couple times before he finally opened a brown eye. It went from being very tired to suddenly very confused.

"Yuug?" His voice was thick was sleep. It amazed Yugi on how fast the other could fall asleep. "What are you doing home already?"

Yugi had a deep frown on his face. How was he supposed to approach the blonde with something like this? He couldn't think of any real way to initiate such an absurd conversation, so he pulled the paper from his pocket and unfolded it so Jounouchi could read it. It had taken a moment for Jounouchi's eyes to adjust from slumber to really get what Yugi was trying to show him. Groggily, he took the paper. As he looked at it, his face became more contorted in confusion.

"Yugi, what is this?" he asked.

"I don't know," Yugi replied. It was half honest, anyway. Yugi had an idea of who had taken over his hand to write it in the first place, but he had no idea how. "I was trying to write a sign for the store because the shipment wasn't going to come until later on today, and this is what I wrote. I didn't mean to. I'm pretty sure I meant to say something like, 'Game shipment will arrive after ten' or something, but… When I looked at it to make sure it wasn't totally lopsided, _that's_ what was on the paper. I don't have a reason to write that, Jounouchi."

By the end of Yugi's response, he was utterly frantic. He didn't want his best friend and roommate to believe he was crazy, but he had a hard time feeling rational about his body being used. He knew he shouldn't, considering he shared his body with a 3,000-year-old soul, but this was different. Atem was supposed to have gone to the Underworld. There was no way he could have _any_ control over Yugi's body. Even if he did, they certainly wouldn't control his body at the same time.

"We saw Atem leave to the Underworld, though." Even though Jounouchi had meant it as a statement of fact, it had come out as a question. "I've never seen Atem write anything, but… I… I dunno, Yuug. Are you sure you didn't just write this?" He looked at Yugi and handed the paper back. He had a sad smile on his face. "Maybe you should talk to a doctor. I know you miss him, but… dude, he's gone. All this is gonna do is—"

" _I didn't do this, Jounouchi,_ " Yugi spat out, surprising Jounouchi. "Why would I write something like this?" He waggled the paper for emphasis. "Why would I close the store down and run all the way back home just to show you something _I fucking wrote_? I would've just thrown the paper away and gone on with my day. But _nobody_ called me 'partner'—just _him_."

The blonde had a grimace on his face that was slowly smoothing out. Mostly, he was chastising himself, but he was also reacting to Yugi's outburst. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just don't understand, is all. I mean, are there any more signs to go off of?"

Yugi folded the paper back up and thought for a moment. He knew Jounouchi had experienced Yugi telling him similar things to him in the past, back when he had first unlocked Atem from the puzzle by putting it back together, but being that that had ended a few years ago, it felt awkward all over again. "Well… this morning, when I woke up, I felt this… really odd but comforting warmth…" His face felt warm. He knew he was blushing. "It's weird to explain, I guess. And I felt it again when I was at the store, after… after the note was written."

For a moment, there was no reaction from Jounouchi as he processed Yugi's words. After what felt like years to Yugi, the blonde spoke up. "I believe you, Yugi. I just wish it was a little more clear… It's kind of hard to believe that Atem's trying to come back. Or whatever's going on." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I think, maybe, you should take some time off from work and school to focus on yourself."

The other man bristled at this, clearly unhappy. Jounouchi immediately threw his hands up in defense.

"I'm not callin' you crazy, Yuug," he said quickly. "You're stressed, is all. You need time to breathe. I'm worried about you."

Yugi scowled. "I can't just close the store for a week, Jounouchi. A day is bad enough. Honda doesn't have time to run it for that long—he's got his own job to worry about." He crossed his arms and fixed the blonde with an angry glare.

"You _can_ ," the other had state simply. "It's not a matter of 'can or can't'—it's a matter of 'should you' or 'should I make you'. The store is _yours_ and you _can_ close it down for a week. But I know you'll give yourself some hundred-and-one excuses as to why you _shouldn't_ close it, and not one of those reasons will be for your own health. So, if it comes down to it, I have no issues with rassling you down to get the key and close the store down."

Yugi knew his friend could take him down in an instant—hell, he was no threat to the blonde when he was bullying Yugi in high school. He couldn't outright admit defeat, but he wouldn't put up a struggle either. Quietly, he asked, "What am I supposed to tell the driver?"

"Ask Honda to be there for him," came the easy reply. "He'll understand if you call him. You know he'll do it for you." He let out a yawn and looked at his alarm clock. "Damn. It's not even seven-thirty. What're you doing to me?"

It was meant to be rhetorical, but Yugi couldn't help that his frown deepened. "Sorry. I'm gonna go call Honda." He went to turn around when Jounouchi grabbed his arm, stopping him. He gave the blonde a questioning look, but didn't say anything.

"I know you're upset, Yugi," he said softly, practically whispering. "I'm just worried. I want you to get better and it's not gonna happen when you insist on pushing it aside by goin' to work or school. I'm not sayin' that paper is you goin' crazy—I'm sayin' it's you trying to cope."

Yugi wanted to get out of this one-sided conversation. He didn't want to hear what his roommate was saying, and he certainly didn't want to believe what he was saying. Had he written that note? Yes; his hand had been used. The evidence alone was incriminating to his story. However, what he had intended to write was very crystal clear in his mind. With all the things that he and his friends had experienced as teens, he thought Jounouchi would be a little more open-minded to other possibilities.

"Yugi." Jounouchi's voice broke through the other's train of thought, forcing his violet eyes to focus on brown ones. "Let me ask you something: Would you feel better or worse if Atem really was calling out to you?"

 _Ha! He already is!_ Yugi thought. He didn't have enough evidence to support this for Jounouchi's belief, but he did know the answer to the man's question. He sighed. "Worse."

The blonde gave a questioning look. "Why?"

The fact that Yugi couldn't see or hear Atem solidified the reality that he was truly gone. He'd never once tried to say otherwise. Atem's existence in Yugi's life had impacted him so deeply, that he didn't even have the strength to fully cope with his grandfather's death. These fleeting touches and sweet nothings were breaking his heart. If Yugi could enter his soul room now, he wondered what it would look like. He opened his mouth to speak, but slapped it back shut, hesitant.

"Just say it, Yuug," Jounouchi pressed, voice still soft.

"Not…" He sighed, trying to get a grip on his words. It was so much easier when he had the puzzle. All he had to do was use his emotions and Atem would understand. He didn't have that luxury anymore. And that was why he never bothered to talk about it. "It hurts because… I can't see him. Even if he was just a soul sharing my body, at least I could see him. I knew he was there. Now, this just… It feels so horrible. I get this feeling that he's there. He's watching me and touching me, but I can't do the same." He shook his head, causing his bangs to cover his head as he dipped it slightly. "It feels like he's making fun of me. Teasing me with something I can't have because he's supposed to be gone." He looked back up and gave Jounouchi a broken look, his eyes watering. "Maybe I really am crazy. Talking about ghosts touching me and making fun of me…" He gave a humorless laugh.

"You're not crazy," Jounouchi said flatly. His expression betrayed his voice, as it was filled with sadness. "I think with all the shit you've had to deal with, it's no wonder you feel the way you do. Don't try to belittle your pain—it pisses me off." He sat up more, fixing his posture so that he was truly sitting upright, his legs crossed. "Now, you're gonna call Honda and make a new note. You're going to close the store for a week—I won't accept any less," he added quickly, cutting off Yugi's protest. "We're going to the store to put up that sign, and then we're both going to the grocery store to get you a notebook."

"Is this really necessary?" Yugi asked. He felt something akin to betrayal.

The blonde sighed. "Dude, I know you. You'll run yourself _literally_ into the ground for the sake of someone else. Trust me, I would know. You've done it for me before. Besides, you look like you could use better company than those shelves." He flashed Yugi a bright smile.

Yugi barely reflected it. Jounouchi's faltered a bit. "I'll go all Honda and ask if he can do it. I'm gonna go sit downstairs and wait for you." He turned around and attempted to walk forward, hesitant of his roommate stopping him again. When no such action occurred, Yugi walked forward out of the blonde's room. Maybe he was starting to get to that point Jounouchi. Where one became so distant and cold, that they pushed all their loved ones aside to drown in their own misery. Yugi would've welcomed it over crying, but he just knew Jounouchi wouldn't let him off so easily. No; he would fight for him all the way.

Once downstairs, he grabbed the phone, sat down on the loveseat, and dialed Honda's phone number. It rang a couple times before there was an answer.

"Hello?" His voice was groggy.

"Morning, Honda," Yugi greeted, voice soft.

There was a pause, followed by: "Oh, morning, Yugi. I was gonna yell if Jou had called. What's up?"

"I need to ask you a favor," came the reply. "Jounouchi wants me to close the store down for a week, and a truck is coming today to make a delivery around ten."

"Oh, that's no issue, Yugi," Honda replied. "Work called a little while ago and asked me to come in later anyway. The truck with our shipment has a flat tire and won't be able to make it until later in the afternoon. Otherwise, they'd probably just get desperate and find different ways of keeping me busy. Of course, it's my duty to perform any task my boss gives me."

"Oh, okay," Yugi replied dumbly. "Well, thanks."

There was a brief moment of silence. Honda took in Yugi's blasé response and wondered how he should approach it. The last time he tried to help Yugi, it had resulted in a physical push from the shorter male and a rough week of the Silent Treatment. Yugi wasn't particularly violent, so even though the act hadn't exactly hurt Honda in any way, the actuality of _Yugi_ doing it at all had shocked Honda. He didn't want to Yugi to hang up on him, but he still wanted to ask.

"Yugi…" Honda said. "Are you doing okay?" He braced himself for the dial tone, but Yugi was still there to answer him.

"I'm… not sure," he answered honestly. "That's why I'm taking a week off. Jounouchi wants me to use it to help get better. It's his idea, not mine. With the arrival of the new game, it's really not a good time…"

"Don't worry about the game," Honda said, speaking a little fast. "You should focus on bettering yourself, Yugi. You deserve it after what you've gone through."

"I appreciate your input, Honda," Yugi said sternly, his voice laced with some agitation. "But I'm just not in the mood to deal with another lecture… Please, just let me deal with this. If I want help, I'll ask."

The other male on the phone hesitated, making a noise. "I'm gonna hold you to that, Yugi. You're really bad at asking for help. But I'll make sure to be there to get the stock comin' in today, okay?"

"Okay." Yugi was thankful for the change in topics.

"Well, if you need me for anything else, I'll do my best," Honda said enthusiastically. "I can't run the store today, but I can at least be there for the truck. And Yugi?" There was a pause, but Yugi only waited. "Please take care of yourself."

Then there was dial tone. Honda hadn't given Yugi a chance to say anything to his plea. Yugi probably shouldn't have suspected anything less, honestly. Except maybe a "bye". _Maybe it's getting to that point with Honda too._

Jounouchi entering the room interrupted Yugi's thoughts. He was dressed in a blue t-shirt and blue jeans. He ran his fingers through his wet hair, trying to control it a bit and make it look a little more public-friendly. "What'd he say?" He picked up his sneakers and Yugi got up to do the same before they both sat down.

Yugi nodded. "He said he'd be there when the truck arrived. They said after ten, but… I hope Honda will be there in time. They could show up early…"

The blonde shook his head. "That's not what we should be worried about here, Yugi. Now come on; we're gonna stop by the store. Gotta put that note up and go to the other store to get that notebook."

"So… what's wrong with the notebooks we already have?" Yugi asked, feeling a little dumb.

Jounouchi smiled. "Nothing, really. I just thought a random page of game cheats in the middle of a journal entry would look a little weird. Not to mention confusing."

Yugi smirked. "You're the one who insists on picking a page in the middle of the notebook to write them down. I start at the beginning like everyone else." He laced his shoes up, making sure they were both snug on his feet. The boots he used to wear were in a box in his closet, tucked away in the corner so he wouldn't see it.

The blonde tied up one shoe as he looked at Yugi. "Now see, you're playing it safe. If you _really_ want to be a rebel, write your stuff going backwards." He slipped on his other shoe, laced it, and then slapped his thighs. "Ready to blow hole?"

Yugi arched an eyebrow. "Depends on the context." He stood up when Jounouchi did and gave the man an annoyed look when he held the door open for Yugi. "Really?"

Jounouchi just chuckled. "Ladies first."

Yugi rolled his eyes. "You're still a bully."

* * *

When they were inside the store, Yugi walked back behind the counter to repeat what he'd done earlier. He contemplated on what to write. He knew many of his customers would be disappointed, but maybe Jounouchi was right—maybe he really needed to do this. Yugi looked up to see what the blonde was doing, and was relieved to see that he wasn't watching him. He sighed quietly and began writing.

DUE TO PERSONAL AFFAIRS, KAME GAME WILL BE CLOSED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. THANK YOU.

He was unhappy with the paper and the decision, but he knew there was no arguing with Jounouchi. The man was as stubborn as a bull and had the physical capabilities to back it up. He could get violent if he needed to be. He sighed again and grabbed the scotch tape. He took the previous sign off the door and replaced it with the new one. He walked back to the counter to put the tape back and to throw away the old sign. "Okay, Jounouchi."

Typically, Jounouchi's responses were pretty automatic. But when the blonde hadn't said a word or even walked towards Yugi, that worried him a bit.

"Jounouchi?"

Still nothing. Not even the sound of his sneakers squeaking on the linoleum. Yugi's heart started beating faster as he hastily reached for a stepladder so he could see over the tops of the aisles. He couldn't see Jounouchi anywhere as he scanned the entire store. He had literally _just_ seen him! "Jounouchi. What the hell?" he muttered to himself. He got off the stepladder, folded it, and then placed it where he had found it. Walking around the counter to search through the aisles to find his friend, he ended up stopping mid-step. The warm feeling he had experienced before was back. It was soothing and relaxing, but Yugi couldn't help but to tense up. He looked around, trying to find the source of the random heat, but the store was empty.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned around immediately; only to find that it hadn't belonged to anyone. Yugi was feeling so confused. It was difficult to believe it was all in his head, like Jounouchi was trying to say it was, when nonexistent hands insisted on touching him. "Stop it," he found himself saying through clenched teeth. "Stop teasing me. It's not funny."

The warmth didn't stop, however. Instead, it only intensified, completely enveloping Yugi's body. Yugi felt like his breath had been stolen from him as he gasped desperately. He couldn't understand why this was happening to him; only that he wanted it to stop before his brain split in half. Even though his mind was racing with different emotions, Yugi could feel his heart rate slowing and his body going lax. It was so comforting and familiar, there was no way it could be anyone else but Atem.

 _Partner_ …

Yugi's eyes shot open—he couldn't remember closing them—when he heard his nickname being uttered. Most people wouldn't call it a nickname, but it had become Yugi's, thanks to Atem. He whipped his head around in several directions, but found that no one was within site. Jounouchi was still missing.

 _Partner_.

Yugi fought against the heat and brought his hands tightly into his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. "Stop it! Leave me alone!" He felt his legs giving out on him and he sunk to the ground. "If you really are him, prove it. Show me!"

Then, there was nothing. No warmth, no touches, no whispers. Everything ceased. Yugi was even sure that time had stopped. After a moment, it all came rushing into his core. This time, though, the feelings that Yugi was feeling were guilt and sadness. It was so overwhelming that it before he even realized it, Yugi was crying. He was frantic in trying to wipe his face, but his eyes wouldn't stop pouring. He stopped trying to beat his tears and dug his fingers deeply into his hair, gripping tightly. His voice when he spoke was broken.

"Stop it… Please stop…"

In a split second, everything was gone. Yugi was back in reality with his knees on the ground, his head throbbing where he yanked on his hair, and his face soaked with tears. There was no other presence—just him on the floor. He was so overly distraught, all he could do was break down and cry again.


	4. Chapter 4

If you guys have any critiques or noticed any errors I didn't catch, please let me know! I also greatly appreciate reviews on what you liked about the story so far. It's a nice thing to know people like what they're reading. 3

* * *

Jounouchi finished washing his hands and began to dry them before leaving the restroom. It wasn't technically open to the public, but the blonde had the biggest urge to go and he didn't have enough time to tell Yugi where he was going. He would've pissed himself otherwise. He looked around, but didn't see his friend anywhere. "Yugi?" His eyes scanned as far as his height would allow, but when there was no sight of the spikey hair, he started walking for the counter. Yugi wasn't there, but he realized when he listened, he could hear hiccupping and sobbing. He panicked slightly and walked in the direction of the sounds.

There, in the middle of the aisle, was Yugi, on his knees with his hands covering his face, and crying. He knelt in front of the other man and put a hand on his shoulder. Yugi didn't react right away, still lost in his emotions, so Jounouchi gripped at the fabric slightly. In this instance, Yugi's head shot up to see who was touching him, his eyes wide. Brown eyes were looking back at him sadly. More tears spilled. Jounouchi was still there. He hadn't left Yugi.

"Yuug?" The blonde spoke quietly. "What happened?"

Yugi sniffled and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. "I freaked out. I couldn't find you and I kept getting this bad feeling. I felt like something was trying to get me…" He mentally winced at his answer. _Yep. That sounds better. I would've been better off telling him I had a nightmare with my eyes open_.

"It's gone now," Jounouchi reassured. "There's nothing around but us. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I _really_ had to use the bathroom and I didn't think you'd appreciate me pissing on the floor." He waited a moment for Yugi to compose himself, then said, "Do you wanna use the bathroom to wash your face? Your eyes are all red."

Yugi shook his head. "No, it's okay. We can go. I don't need to do anything else."

The blonde gave him a look, but didn't say anything. He stood up and Yugi followed suit, heading towards the door.

* * *

The trip to the grocery store took longer than anticipated. What was meant to be a simple trip for a notebook became a long-winded adventure that took three hours between deciding on the color of the notebook's cover, if it would be wide-ruled or college-ruled, and how many subjects it would have. The store was having a final sale on all its back-to-school stock and of course, it had to be Jounouchi doing this with him. Yugi couldn't have cared less about the notebooks' appearance. It took nearly an hour of rummaging for Yugi to grab a black notebook with three subjects—mainly because Jounouchi had insisted on stopping Yugi every five seconds to look at the design on every notebook he picked up.

After picking out a notebook, Jounouchi decided it was necessary to do some shopping for groceries. They were technically well off—Yugi had done it last week—but the items Jounouchi was going for were an odd combination of salty snacks and soup-style ingredients. He'd picked up mushrooms, beef broth, celery, carrots, and stewed beef.

"You realize we have beef?" Yugi asked rhetorically. "We could've just cut it up into chunks. It would've saved you like…" He picked up the package from the cart and his eyes went wide. "Eight dollars? Seriously? They charge _that_ much for chunks of meat?" He whipped his head up to look at Jounouchi. "Jounouchi, you're not buying this. It's way too expensive."

The blonde wasn't having it, though. "I'm not buying it for me, Yuug. It's for you. I'm gonna make you some really good soup."

Yugi's face fell. "I'm not sick and you have to be to work by two." He thought about the words almost as soon as they'd left his mouth, wondering if Jounouchi had had a similar thought as well. If he did, he was keeping it to himself. If that were the case, Jounouchi would be saving it for a later conversation. _I'm not sick. I'm not sick. I'm not sick. Yes, you are. You think you're dealing with the ghost of a guy who shared a body with you. Because that in itself doesn't sound insane._ He sighed and realized how far behind Jounouchi he was.

Jounouchi was turned around slightly, looking down at Yugi. "What's wrong, Yuug?"

The other shook his head. "Nothing. I was thinking."

"Something to add to the notebook?"

"Nah." Yugi shook his head. "Just a random, pointless thought."

Jounouchi gave him an unconvinced look. "No such thing, Yuug. Share it with me?"

Yugi hesitated, but eventually succumbed when the blonde's look hardened. He sighed. "Trying to convince myself that I'm not sick. I know I am. Beyond that point. 'Lock me in the loony bin' sick, actually. Something that soup won't fix."

"Soup won't fix you," Jounouchi agreed. "But nothing is going to make you feel better overnight. I just figured you could use some comfort food. Somethin' to warm your bones."

The other male felt awkward. Sentimental garbage should stay at home, not at a store. He fidgeted his fingers at his sides awkwardly, eyes trailing off to the side. "Uh… can this wait 'til we're home? Please?"

Jounouchi gave a small smile. "Yeah. We can do that."

Yugi sighed appreciatively.

* * *

Finally back home, Jounouchi unloaded the groceries while Yugi put in his first entry. It was instructed, per Jounouchi, that he did this. Yugi had intended on doing it, anyway. He knew his roommate had suggested he do this to help get his feelings out of his head and into another form of expression, but he wondered if he _was_ going to read it. He half-wondered if Jounouchi would think he was crazy, or if he'd give some insight. Maybe Jounouchi would see how he looked when Yugi was experiencing his mental breakdowns. Then again, Yugi very much liked living where he did now. He liked his job and he liked going to school. He also really enjoyed how his green loveseat tried to eat his body every time sat down. He was sure there would be no such experience in a psych ward.

He was halfway through his first entry when Jounouchi appeared from the kitchen, smiling as he noticed what Yugi was doing. Jounouchi didn't say anything, though, opting to take a seat on his recliner and doze off for a while. It was still early for him, considering his shift didn't start for another couple of hours; so, a nap was rather required. Yugi didn't blame him. He would be considerate and wake him up when it was time to leave, though.

He looked back down at his notebook and what he had written so far. It was rather punctual for a journal entry. Too composed. _Guess even in a journal, I hide myself_. He supposed it was habit, but he didn't try to purposefully change it. When he started talking about the feelings he was experiencing during Atem's visits, though, his form changed almost completely. He started writing faster as each wave of emotion swept over him, his writing getting sloppier by the second; but he found himself to be uncaring. Atem impacted him far too much to be considered healthy. Or maybe, it was all Yugi. _Was I so attached to his hip that no one else mattered to me?_

Yugi's hand was beginning to cramp. Characters were becoming rather difficult to write, and he'd somehow found himself four pages into the notebook already. He glanced over the words and was a little worried about what he'd find on the pages. True, he'd written every word there—but there were some moments where his mind and hand were on a completely different level, moving entirely of their own accord. Some of the characters were so sloppy, though. Yugi thought they almost belonged to a serial killer. He replaced the cap to his pen and set it down on the loveseat, also flipping the cover to the notebook over so it was correct again, and setting it down on the loveseat as well.

Jounouchi snored softly, fingers twitching on his stomach.

Yugi thought for a moment that he'd accidentally woken the other man up, but then his hands settled down and his head stilled. He had a smile on his face and Yugi wondered if he was thinking of Mai. He smiled at the thought, feeling envious of the blonde pair. The object of Jounouchi's affections wasn't 3,000 years old. She was very much alive and involved in a small, but successful business firm. Yugi knew why Jounouchi never asked Mai to marry him. He wanted to be able to provide Mai with better financial support. Of course, he'd never tell Mai that. She wouldn't understand, he'd told Yugi once. Yugi had never pushed it.

Yugi looked down at his notebook, eyeing the letters but not actually reading the words they made. He sighed and looked at the clock—it had been ten minutes. Idly, Yugi wondered how Seto and Mokuba were doing. He was sure the feeling wasn't mutual, but he still couldn't help but wonder. It'd been three years since Atem had left, and after the first year, Seto had taken his obsession for dueling Atem to extremely scary heights. Seto had been committed for six months, leaving his brother in the care of the mansion staff, before he was deemed healthy enough to return to society. The rumor was that Seto was still very much into reaching Atem again, but he had learned to hide it and give people the cookie-cutter responses others wanted to hear.

 _Would something like that happen to me?_ He wondered. _Will it get to the point that I become so depressed that my friends give up on me? Will I be taken away to the asylum? Be like Kaiba and give people the answers they want?_ Yugi felt the notebook and pen fall to the floor when he leaned forward to grip at his hair tightly. _Am I gonna be broken forever?_

Just like before, that warmth came back. It was enveloping him, soft and comfortable. It made Yugi's taut muscles go lax, his hands flopping gracelessly from his head to his lap. He wanted to protest it, make it go away, but it was entering his mind, willing him to relax. The feeling was so familiar to him. He'd shared his mind with Atem, but both would give each other privacy if the other wished it by going into their own soul rooms. _This can't be Atem_ , thought Yugi. _Who is this? Why are you here?_

There was no spoken answer, though. The warmth persisted, but it made a point to become more soothing, pushing Yugi's questions away. Yugi didn't understand. _Please, tell me what you're doing. Why do you always show up when I'm alone or when nobody can see what's going on? You're making me look crazy._ His mind was absolutely frantic, but if he had to guess by how his face felt, he probably looked like he was completely zoned out.

The feeling changed from comforting to guilty, but it didn't relinquish its hold on Yugi's body. It was apologizing to Yugi for how it was making him feel, but it was persistent in staying where it was. _Yugi…_

 _Please, just leave alone,_ Yugi whined mentally. _Stop tormenting me. It's not fair._ He could feel tears strolling down his face, but the grip on his body the ghost had was too strong for him. He was left with fighting it off with his mind and he was doing a terrible job at that, in his own opinion.

 _I don't mean to,_ it said.

It was the strangest thing, but before, he thought he had heard Atem's voice. This time, he didn't hear a voice. He saw the words flash in his mind, like reading words appearing over a black screen. Yugi felt more and more confused and emotionally stressed. _Please… stop. You keep coming back and terrorizing me. Why?_

 _I am sorry_. Like before, the words appeared across Yugi's mind, obliterating everything else in his mind but those words. _I do not mean to cause you harm. I am trying to return._

 _Return?_ Yugi scoffed mentally. _The Underworld treating you wrong?_

There was another change of emotion—hurt. _I miss you_.

The response took Yugi by surprise, but he was given no time to respond. The feeling was gone and he was back in reality. He could feel the tears drying on his face, could feel the tension returning to his body, but all he could think about was what had been shown to him. Yugi wanted to get up to wash his face before Jounouchi woke up to see him, but his body wouldn't move. He was tired of being teased, of crying, of being the only one who had to deal. Atem couldn't come back—so why was he being so mean to Yugi?

Except he wasn't. For some unexplained reason, Atem's soul was allowed into the living world; enough, anyways, to torment Yugi with emotions and that warmth. It seemed that he couldn't manifest his entire body. Yugi wanted to know why, but the last the thing he'd told the Pharaoh was a demand to leave him alone. It wasn't entirely true—Yugi missed him so much—but he was tired of feeling himself break every time the Pharaoh wanted to be close to Yugi.

Yugi needed a drink. Problem was, he never thought about alcohol and Jounouchi never touched the stuff. He wouldn't even drink on his twenty-first birthday. Not that Yugi blamed him. This just meant there was no alcohol in the house, and Yugi was pretty much confined to the apartment. He had a desperate itch, though, that begged to be released. He thought of an alternate option. He knew it was stupid and he knew Jounouchi would get upset if he found out, but it would be a quick release. All Yugi wanted was an outlet for the pain.

He forced himself off the loveseat, setting his feet on either side of the notebook and pen that were still on the floor, before quickly and quietly going up the stairs. He was headed for the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself—teary-eyed, red-faced—before opening the mirror to get inside the medicine cabinet. He searched for a small, heart-shaped, silver antique container, set it on the counter, and then closed the medicine cabinet. The container had been given to Yugi and Jounouchi by Anzu before she left for America to pursue her dream, but the sentimentality behind the object wasn't on Yugi's mind right now. He wanted what was inside—an open box of double-edged razorblades. He thanked some random entity for his decision not to wear a tank top and rolled up the left sleeve. He carefully pushed one of the blades out from the top of the pack and held it carefully between his index finger and thumb. His heart was thumping hard in his chest, threatening to rip out of him, but even with the slight hesitation he felt, he squashed everything. He _needed_ a quick release. He swallowed his thoughts and quickly ran the blade into the meat of his arm.

It took maybe a couple seconds before blood began to appear between the sliced skin. All Yugi could think about was the sting of cutting his skin, and the blood coming out. It wasn't much, being nothing more than a tentative flesh wound, but Yugi decided he liked it—it was distracting, pulling him into another direction. He couldn't help himself when he brought the blade back through his skin a few more times with just a bit more pressure, and then allowing them to bleed. He felt satisfied now, that intense feeling having been replaced with a sort of calm that Atem hadn't brought. He put the blade away on the other side of the package, putting that back into the container and into the medicine cabinet before ripping off a couple pieces of tissue to put over his arm.

He wasn't sure how long he was in the bathroom, just sitting on the toilet until the bleeding stopped, but Jounouchi knocking on the door startled him.

"Yugi?" came his muffled voice. "Sorry, man. I gotta go."

Yugi didn't really trust his voice, but he managed a believable "Okay". He took the tissue away from his arm and threw it in the toilet, flushing it afterwards. He fixed his sleeve and then opened the door. The blonde was waiting patiently, but it was quite evident that he needed to go. "Sorry, Jounouchi." He stepped out of the way to let the other in and headed for the living room.

Yugi picked up the notebook and pen that had dropped on the floor before sitting back down on the loveseat. He set them down beside him, figuring what he wrote was sufficient for the day, and thought, _Jounouchi doesn't need to know._


	5. Chapter 5

As the week turned into another, Yugi found himself writing in his notebook more frequently. It was becoming a ritual habit, along with the other hobby he'd picked up. He was feeling a bit better emotionally, and he felt like he was ready to go back to work. The spirit—Atem—hadn't bothered him since their last encounter, and, although Yugi was missing that comfort, he wasn't missing the pain that typically came with it. It was very bittersweet.

Yugi had to wonder, though—did Jounouchi even notice the changes that he saw himself doing? He felt overly aware of them—the longer sleeves and the more frequent his bathroom trips were. In fact, Yugi was so ashamed of those trips that he'd swiped one of Jounouchi's new blades and stayed in his room more. Once, Jounouchi saw Yugi take a roll of tissue into his room, but all the blonde did was arch an eyebrow. Yugi had blushed, wondering if he'd need to think of an excuse, but no question was ever uttered.

In fact, Yugi was beginning to feel a little mixed about the situation. He was grateful that Jounouchi wasn't trying to act like his mother, hounding his every action. But then, he was also upset. At this point, the blonde had to figure something was off. What got Yugi was how much Jounouchi didn't press. His initial thought was that maybe Jounouchi didn't truly care, but Yugi ripped that thought from his head. Then there was disappointment. No; Yugi didn't make it a point to advertise the fact that he was cutting. He did his best to destroy the evidence or hide it beneath other things. He wasn't proud of it—not by any means. Still… Yugi was doing things he wasn't known for doing, and not once did Jounouchi ask what he was doing.

Turning the knobs to the shower, he pulled the curtain back and reached for the white towel that was hanging on the rack. The green one was Jounouchi's. He dried off his hair briefly before wrapping the towel around his waist and stepped forward towards the counter to brush his teeth. He wiped part of the mirror in front of him off with his free hand and his eyes immediately went to the cuts on his arms. There were several lining his upper arms. Yugi was careful not to go too far, as there were only so many types of day where a hoodie or long-sleeved shirt was an acceptable clothing choice. As the week had gone on, though, it was hard to find himself not wanting to cut. On those days, to avoid littering his arms too much, Yugi had taken to slicing at his pectorals. Even a tank top would cover those.

He spat out his toothpaste and began to dress himself. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like wearing what he used to wear when he was younger. His jumper shirt was a little small on him now, but he could fit into Jounouchi's. It was still a little too big, but he could live with that. After all, he'd left himself in a position that didn't allow him to go out in just his black tank top. He slipped on his jeans, hung up his towel, and headed for his room. He opened his closet and pulled out the box tucked in the corner, bringing it with him as he sat down on the bed. His heart thudded in his chest and he hesitated, hand on the lid. He took a breath and opened it—inside were his boots, wrist cuffs, and choker. He remembered when he stopped wearing them. He felt so bare without them, but the memories were too painful. Much like how they felt now.

The box fell from Yugi's lap when his hands slipped away from it, and he started struggling to breathe. That warmth he thought had stopped was back, stronger than ever. It was suffocating him. _Shit, shit, shit_ , he thought. _I'm not ready for this yet!_

He brought his hands up to his hair and clutched tightly at the strands, clenching his eyes shut as well. He struggled to hold his position, to keep his muscles tense. He didn't want to let it beat him again. It seemed he was fighting a losing battle, however, as he could feel his will slipping away and letting the feeling take him over. In his loss, Yugi realized something—that warm feeling that was so comforting and familiar—there was satisfaction mixed with it. There was no one else this spirit could be—it was Atem. Even if he wished it could be his grandpa at times, Yugi knew his grandpa knew better than to meddle with the affairs of the living. He'd lived a full life with no regrets. He'd passed on proudly.

Yugi surrendered completely, and the spirit relaxed. It had been satisfied when Yugi started to relinquish his own control, but it was also laced with fear, wondering if Yugi would push him away again.

 _Will you accept a visit from me, then?_

Yugi gave a wry smile, but he made no attempt to push the spirit away. _Only if you're not some psycho who's gonna make me kill people_. He knew it was mean and uncalled for, but the whole purpose of Yugi agreeing with Jounouchi's plan to write a journal and make changes in his life was to help him _deal_ with Atem's departure—not give a sloppy French kiss welcome back into his life. In Yugi's mind, it was only natural that everything would work against him and make it all the more difficult.

 _I don't remember you being so pessimistic, partner_ , the spirit's voice spoke. _I'm worried about you_.

Yugi didn't react at first. He thought about what he had been doing—the self-inflicting, the countless thoughts of suicide, his raging depression—and wondered if Atem had seen Yugi go through it all. He wondered if Atem knew of his grandpa's passing. _How long have you been watching me?_

 _Long enough to know what's wrong with you,_ came the answer.

' _What's wrong' with me?_ Yugi echoed. He felt anger rush through him, but Atem curbed it quickly. Yugi wanted to be upset about that, but that soothing feeling was too strong. _I'm broken and you've come back to try to coddle me?_

 _Yugi_. The mental voice was firm. Atem had had enough of Yugi's self-belittling behavior and Yugi could sense it. _I do not coddle you. You need help and I intend to provide you with it._

Yugi rolled his eyes. _News flash: you_ are _the reason I'm like this. Go the fuck away._

He half-expected Atem to leave him again, much like he'd done before when he so brokenly pleaded to the spirit to leave him in peace, but this time, there was no departure. Atem stayed right where he was, suffocating Yugi even more than he thought possible.

 _Yugi. I'm surprised by how much you have and haven't changed_. The tone was almost… chastising.

Yugi was confused. _The hell is that supposed to mean?_

Atem was undaunted. _You are much more callous than before, but you still put others before you. You refuse to accept mine or your grandfather's passing, but you will use any means necessary to avoid any confrontation on your own mental well-being. I can't accept the way you're dealing with it now._

 _Yeah?_ Yugi felt an incredible need to be rebellious. _Well, it's not your life, now is it? You had yours and you did away with it. I'm not judging you, now am I?_

The spirit bristled. Yugi felt a sense of accomplishment.

For a moment, the air was stilled and thick. Yugi's body hadn't moved, but his mind was a whirlwind of emotions. He felt oddly proud of himself for getting under the spirit's skin, since Atem was such a composed person in general; but he also felt anxiety, guilt, and sadness. Yugi couldn't see Atem, but the voice in his head distinctively belonged to the former Pharaoh.

 _Yugi…_ There was a deep feeling of disappointment in the spirit's voice. _You know I wouldn't go out of my way to deliberately cause you grief._

At this, Yugi felt something inside him break. He actually wanted to punch Atem. He also knew that Atem was being genuine. Still, he was more pissed. "Then why are you here? Go away!"

He was so thankful Jounounchi was already at work. He was about to stand up and leave, when he was stopped. His eyes went wide as the figure before him began to manifest itself.

He was still transparent, but the man standing in front of him was very much the one who Yugi had been dealing with this whole time. Those violet eyes that were so much like his own were drenched in sadness. Yugi's own eyes were wide and disbelieving. He was dressed not in the attire of when he was attached to Yugi, but of the clothes he wore as the brave Pharaoh whose life was cut short in order to save the world.

Yugi had so many questions and feelings swimming in his head. He was tired of them all. He wanted to just go numb so he wouldn't have to deal with them. "How." It was meant to be a question, but he only managed to say it like a flat statement.

 _The article you read a week ago,_ Atem replied. _I know in your depression that you forgot about it. I also am aware of what kind of damage my presence here is doing to you._

"Then why won't you go?" Yugi snapped. He didn't remember Atem ever being the one to beat around the bush.

Everything in Yugi's mind went silent—no thoughts, no emotions—when the former Pharaoh once again took over his mind. He said simply, _I'm coming back_.


	6. Chapter 6

Yugi's eyes went wide at hearing those words. Everything came to a complete stop as he processed them, but only for a moment. He was full of questions. "How?"

 _You don't need to speak aloud, Yugi_ , Atem reminded him. _I can hear your thoughts just fine. The Millennium Puzzle was dug up_ , he answered before Yugi could protest his former statement. _It was disassembled when it fell, but the archaeologist that dug it up is trying to piece it back together. He will fail, I'm sure_.

 _You don't have a body, though_ , Yugi said, a little irritated. _You used mine_. He thought about that for a moment, remembering what it was like to share a body with the Pharaoh, but the man interrupted his thoughts.

 _You shared it with me,_ Atem corrected gently. _I will become solid. I will have my own body._

Yugi shook his head. _How is that even possible? Isn't yours in the museum? I wouldn't exactly recommend going back into that._

Atem closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. _Have you forgotten Pegasus?_

The other man shuddered at the American's name. _No. How could I? That creepy eye and what he did to Grandpa?_ He shook his head. _What'd you mention him for?_

 _I banished the darkness from Kaiba's mind_ , Atem reminded. _But Pegasus brought him back. He had his own body and could act of his own will._

 _But you're not my darkness_ , Yugi insisted. _You're the Pharaoh._

 _I_ am _your darkness, Yugi,_ Atem said firmly. _But I answered your question. My question to you, though, is… Do you want me back?_

Again, Yugi's mind went blank. _… What?_

Atem sighed. _You don't believe me, I'm sure. I'm being serious. If you want me back, then once the Puzzle is complete, I will have a body of my own._

 _Tell me how this is possible,_ Yugi demanded. _Nobody should have possession of any of the Millennium items except for that dumbass archaeologist who dug them up. He doesn't know how to use them. Nobody in their right mind would shove that thing into their eye socket. So how? How can you get your own body?_

 _A wish was made from the other world,_ the other man replied calmly. _A wish that his grandson would heal and find happiness again._

Yugi felt like his eyes were going to bulge out of his head, they were so wide. It didn't last long as the tears so freely poured from them. He didn't want to hear about his grandpa. How could he when he wasn't even ready to deal with the person—spirit—standing in front of him?

Atem's expression was soft as he watched Yugi cry. He moved to sit next to the other on the bed and wrapped his arm around Yugi's shoulders. Even if he wasn't a physical being, he knew Yugi could feel his warmth.

Yugi just cried, slowly curling into himself as he brought his hands up to cover his face. He was exhausted from crying, but the tears wouldn't stop. Atem clutched his shoulder, but it didn't hurt. It couldn't hurt—he wasn't physically there. Just another moment of torture that he was absolutely sick of.

It felt like hours had passed in those few minutes, but Yugi's tears finally stopped. He sniffled, struggling to breathe from his nose and being forced to open his mouth. Atem had waited patiently, looking in a random direction out of respect for Yugi. Yugi noticed from the corner of his eye that the man was looking at him again. What do people typically say after a random and awkward cry?

"Sorry," he mumbled quietly. _Make it even more awkward._

Atem merely shook his head. _You do not need to apologize. But perhaps you need some time to think about what I've asked you?_ He looked and sounded disappointed and hurt to Yugi, but Atem didn't press the question any further. He removed his arm and stood up, Yugi's head lifting to follow the Pharaoh's actions. Atem looked down at Yugi, his face devoid of emotion as he spoke, _I will stay close, but will give you some privacy to think about this. Whatever choice you make, I will accept it._

Yugi remained carefully quiet, taking in every word that Atem transferred to his mind into deep consideration. He felt damned no matter what, in his own opinion, but that thought never reached Atem because he kept it to himself. It was amazing how, after all this time, he could still remember how to block off specific thoughts to his other self.

 _The nickname returns_ , Atem mused with a quiet chuckle.

Yugi blushed. _I'm not used to you being in my head anymore_. His mental voice spoke flatly. _Guess I need to put up a better defense mechanism to keep you out._

Atem frowned. _I will leave you alone now_. His body began to disappear completely.

 _I was only kidding,_ Yugi protested, somewhat frantically. He couldn't bring himself to sit upright—Atem had drained all his physical energy—but at least he could still get his emotions to work. Not that Yugi could actually grab Atem to prevent the man from leaving, but he hoped that he wouldn't. He wasn't sure if Atem was still in the room, but was a little surprised when Atem spoke in his mind.

 _Your sense of humor has gotten incredibly dark_ , he said. _I'm not sure I like it. Still, I said I would give you some space to think about my question, and I will honor that. If you need me, Yugi, just ask. I won't stay far away._

There was a long pause. Atem hadn't blatantly uttered a goodbye of any sort, but Yugi kind of figured the spirit had gone on his way, doing whatever the hell a spirit would do. He could feel the air lighten up around him and he looked down at the box on the floor. One of the wristbands had fallen out of the box when it fell from Yugi's hands. The shoes were pointing in different directions, but they remained. One had changed its position and was covering the other wristband. He pursed his lips and then spoke, his mental voice timid.

 _Other me?_

Silence. Yugi was a little disappointed that Atem had not come like he said he would, but maybe he figured Yugi was just testing him. Yugi couldn't remember—did Atem enjoy being tested? Or did it thoroughly piss the spirit off? In truth, Yugi wasn't trying to test the spirit at all; he genuinely wanted Atem to come back so they could actually talk. His emotions were calming down. Nostalgia was prompting him to ask how the other had been doing all this time.

Atem finally reappeared in front of Yugi, his arms crossed, though he wasn't unhappy. He had a small smile on his face, but the words that he spoke to Yugi though their mental link wasn't exactly what Yugi had in mind. _Whatever you have in that head of yours, it can wait. I know you didn't make up your mind that fast._ He disappeared again before Yugi could speak again.

Yugi was a little irritated, but he chose instead to pick up the box with the shoes and wristbands. _Maybe the store can wait a bit longer_ … He slipped on the wristbands and was instantly whisked back to his past, the feeling of them around his wrist so familiar and comforting. It felt like a lost piece of himself had been returned. Still, that heavy question remained in his head.

 _Do you want me back?_

The man frowned. In the last three years since watching Atem leave to the Underworld, Yugi had wanted nothing more than for Atem to come back. His other self—Pharaoh Atem—had meant so much to him and had taught him so much during their time together. Watching him go was both a mixture of endearment for the other to finally have peace and distraught at having to say goodbye. Even so, in that time of being separated, Yugi had picked up a new routine and had managed to go on. He wasn't sure what he could do. The worst part about moving on and adapting to the absence of Atem wasn't going on without him, it was having to re-adapt to having him back _in_ his life.

Yugi considered his options. Atem remaining in the Underworld and not having him around to talk to Yugi meant that Yugi could take his notebook and talk to Jounouchi about moving forward. He would find it in himself to move on from Atem's departure so he could finally cope with his grandpa's passing. He hadn't visited the man's grave in two years. He just hadn't been ready to face it. His mother had dragged him to the showing of his grandfather, and he had chosen to stay in every room that _wasn't_ where his grandpa was. If Atem had a physical body, Yugi would find himself going back into old ways. Would he depend on Atem to fight his battles again for him? Would he neglect the shop and school in favor of being around Atem again?

 _If he moved on to the other world for good, then I wouldn't have to worry about surprise visits from him,_ he reasoned. _I wouldn't have these stupid breakdowns. But… if he was around for good, maybe he could help me move on from grandpa's death?_

He shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about this. He grabbed his old boots and tried slipping them on, but they were too small. His feet had grown out too much.

* * *

Making it to work, he opened the door and locked it behind him before making his way the counter. Honda had left a note on the desk and Yugi read it casually. The truck had arrived later than anticipated and Honda had needed to call them to see where the driver was, but the shipment made it. There were more cases than Yugi thought were supposed to come, but he supposed he could make the best out of it and run a promotion to sell them all. He'd only asked for three pallets, but got five instead. Yugi grabbed the invoice sheet from one of the drawers and checked it over. He scoffed to himself.

"Well, that was one hell of a deal," he muttered. "No wonder Honda accepted the extra pallets."

The game was a remixed version of the Dungeon Dice Monsters game that Ryuji had come with some time ago. After its popularity grew, Ryuji was working on a new version of the game that he hoped would sell just as much. Other game stores that had received the new version were selling out shipments on the same day they were delivered. Yugi had missed out on his own chance to sell out when they came, but he hoped he could sell them fast. He figured he could price them at thirty-percent higher than what they came in at, but what could he promote with them?

An idea formed in his head. Duel Monsters was still a fairly popular game. The packs and starter decks were his most popular sellers. People often bought more than one at a time so they could build or enhance their decks. Some people had several complete decks for different occasions.

"So maybe when they buy a DDM set… They can get a starter deck for half price?" he said to himself.

He was startled by a knock on the front door. He looked up, fully intent on giving whomever was knocking a piece of his mind, but the idea was squashed when he saw Honda waving at him. He was surprised to see the other man, but he quickly made his way to the front to let him in. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

Honda smiled. "I was passing by to see how you were doing at your house, but I saw you were here. How are you doing?"

Yugi shrugged, not wanting to delve into that particular subject. "I was thinking about running an extra promotion to sell the new DDM sets. Wanna help?"

The other smiled deeply. "Duh. Did you have any ideas?"

Yugi nodded, walking back to the desk. He pulled out a calculator and made sure Honda could see it as well. "So if we got these at nine dollars and sixty-seven cents, I figured we could mark them up thirty-percent. We can just round it up to twelve buckets."

Honda made a hesitant sound. "Twelve dollars is a promotion in itself, Yuug. I mean, other stores are selling theirs for twenty to thirty buckets. You do want to keep this place in business, don't you?"

"But we got ours in for so cheap, Honda," Yugi protested. "And these are complete sets. There's a board, dice and spare dice, and eight monsters. We even have extra packets so people can have more monsters to choose from. Packs of three, Honda. And we got those in at four dollars and seventy-two cents. We can sell those at six dollars. But if people buy a set, they can get a pack of extra monsters for free."

"Way too cheap, dude," Honda replied. "You're gonna sell yourself out of business with that kind heart of yours. I'm telling you what…" He sighed, though he was merely teasing. "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be able to pay the vendors."

Yugi frowned, but he knew Honda was truthful. This was a good reason why Honda made for such an amazing business partner. The man only worked a couple days a week, but he had a good head on his shoulders. He knew how to be reasonable about things like this, whereas Yugi was fine with practically giving the stuff away.

"Why don't we sell the game sets for twenty bucks?" he suggested. "We'll say nineteen-ninety-eight for shits and giggles. You know how people are. They don't like seeing that even twenty—that eight or nine ending really appeals to them because they're not gonna fuss over a couple cents. Trippy as hell, but whatever. And then for every set that someone buys, they can get two packs of extra monsters for the price of one. But they have to buy two, or they'll just pay full price for one."

Yugi frowned. Selling the games for ten dollars extra was much higher than what he'd gotten them in for, and the manager of the company had stated that after this, the promotion Yugi had gotten them in at would change. He would get them from the vendors for fifteen dollars a set. Then the twenty-dollar price would make more sense. "Why not just sell them at fifteen dollars for now, and then sell them for twenty-two dollars after the sale? It could be just a one-day thing, and then whatever stock is left over, we'll mark it up to the regular price. The extra packs will go up to nine-seventy-eight after the promotion, but we can sell them at the price we bought them for."

Honda cocked his head to the side. "I think I liked the six-dollar pricing better. Why not just do that? If they buy a set for fifteen bucks, they can get two extra packs for the price of one, or just pay six bucks for one extra."

The other man thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "Okay, I can agree with that." He gave Honda a smile, who smiled back. "Now we just have to make signs and post them."

Honda knocked on the table once and said, "I'll get right on that."

* * *

Within an hour of finishing the fliers and turning on the lights, Yugi and Honda were ready to open the store. At first, Yugi was a little worried that after a week off, his customers would've given up on the store, but to his surprise, people were beginning to flock. There were a few at first who excitedly grabbed their sets and extras, and then as they happily fussed over the new monsters, passersby would hear the commotion and make their way over to the store. As the day progressed, the store had become incredibly busy with customers wanting to buy the game, along with a few other items in the store.

Yugi was genuinely impressed by the amount of business. He was relieved that his customers hadn't pressed too hard about his absence over the past week. He was still unhappy about the lack of a certain Pharaoh. He was irritated about the confliction of emotions he had. All in all, though, he had a hell of a poker face and knew how to keep his professionalism up to avoid deterring the customers from making any purchases.

Honda was busy keeping the shelves stocked and, at first, he did well enough to keep the shelves filled with the game sets. However, he discovered that the moment when people were taking them off the shelf as quickly as he put them up, he decided it would be easier to simply hand a set to each inquiring customer.

By four-thirty, Yugi had completely sold out of game sets. The store had been so busy, he wondered how his till managed to stay so neat. But he was relieved that the hype had gone down and things were much calmer. He glanced over at Honda, who was busy straightening up the aisles. It hadn't just been the new Dungeon Dice Monsters that had been selling—people were looking at decks and packets to improve their current decks as well.

As relieved as Yugi was about this, that one question stayed burning in his mind: _Do you want me back?_ He'd thought about it earlier and had such a conflicted time with it. He thought about asking Honda, but wondered if he'd think Yugi had lost his mind. Still, he knew Honda wouldn't make it a point to tell people if Yugi didn't want him to.

Another customer approached the counter and Yugi waited on him with a smile, but his mind was elsewhere. He saw Honda looking at him with a knowing look, but Yugi busied himself with sorting his till. Anything that Honda wanted to ask him could wait until after the store was closed. He looked up at the clock hanging up on the wall behind him—a Dark Magician clock with staffs for the minute and hour arms—and noticed it was relatively close to shutting down the store. He took a look around the store and noticed a few people that were perusing the shelves for other items, now that the entire shipment of the Dungeon Dice Monsters sets was completely sold out. He figured it wouldn't hurt to give a courtesy call. If there was one thing Yugi _didn't_ like about working in retail, it was the stragglers who liked to hang around as long as physically possible before making their purchases.

He walked over to the left to pick up the phone, dialed a couple numbers, waited, then, "Attention, Kame Game Shoppers. The store will be closing in about fifteen minutes. Please start making your final selections and bring them to the counter. Thank you." He hung up and walked back to the register. He'd sorted all the money out already, making sure it was neat, so he moved on to the slips beneath the register. Typically, he kept it neat, but today, the only thing that was actually neat were the bills. The slips beneath Yugi's register weren't organized very well. They were strewn about. Some were even bent. Scooping them up, he put his till back down, closed the drawer, and stepped off to the side a bit to organize them. He was thankful not many people opted to use checks to pay for their merchandise—it was a dying practice and he had never bothered to get an updated reader for them. His was shamefully slow, even during the days of when his grandpa had owned it, and he couldn't be haggled to get a new one. Even so, checks were a royal pain in the ass for Yugi because they were typically deposited the following day. It didn't technically leave his till short, but it was still a nuisance. Also, there was the risk of the check bouncing. With cash, debit and credit cards, there was no chance of that.

* * *

The last few of the customers approached the counter and paid for their things before leaving, and Yugi was finally able to close the store down. The till had been pulled for the day and put in the safe. He had to make a trip to the bank, but that would have to wait until the following day. He locked the door and started turning off the lights, while Honda cleaned the floors. Typically, Yugi did this by himself, which was why he chose to stay an hour after the store closed. Honda stopping by and being able to help was a blessing in disguise. Getting home early wasn't exactly in Yugi's agenda, but he did have something important to discuss with his friends.

When Honda finished cleaning the floors and fixing up the shelves, he went up to the desk. Yugi was twirling the store key around his fingertip.

"You ready?" Honda asked with a smile.

Yugi made a hesitant noise, curling into himself slightly, but spoke. "I… actually have something I want to talk to you about…"

"Oh?" Honda gave him a wide-eyed, curious look. He waited patiently for Yugi to continue.

"Remember Atem?" the other started, tentative.

Honda's expression softened and his smile grew wider. "How could I forget? We had all sorts of crazy adventures because of him. He's a hard guy to push to the back burner. Why do you ask?"

Yugi found himself without a voice as he struggled to find a decent way to tell his friend that Atem was trying to come back. Jounouchi hadn't exactly believed him, so he figured Honda would have the same reaction. "In a hypothetical situation… what would you do or say… if Atem said he was coming back?"

Honda frowned. "That's new."

Yugi was confused now. "What do you mean by that?"

The other man crossed his arms. "I get that you've had to deal with some bullshit issues, Yugi; but trying to convince yourself that he's coming back isn't going to help you get any better. It's been three years, Yugi— _three_ years. You need to let it go, man. I'd really recommend seeing a therapist to talk about this. You've been in this state of constant denial since he left. Your grandpa's passing didn't help and I'm sorry I brought it up," he added quickly when he saw Yugi's mouth open. "I'm not trying to sound like an inconsiderate ass, man. This is your reality check. Jounouchi won't do this, so I have to. Talk to a therapist, visit your grandpa's grave for god's sake, and let yourself deal. I promise you'll be a much happier person than you are right now.

"I know you're not happy, Yugi," Honda continued, much to Yugi's disdain. "You're hiding yourself. When was the last time you spoke to anyone but me and Jounouchi? Do you even call your mom? Or do you just push everyone away that isn't in your life right now?"

Yugi's lips were pursed tightly together as he waited for Honda to finish talking. During Honda's speech, Yugi had every intention of cutting the man off and giving him a piece of his own mind. But now that he was finished, Yugi used every fiber of his being to _not_ chew the other's head off, reducing himself to biting his tongue. He took in a deep breath through his nose and exhaled slowly, willing himself to calm down. "Honda," he started quietly, "I just asked a simple question." He spoke slowly and carefully. "Will you please tell me… what you would do… if Atem said… he was coming back." He deliberately avoided making eye contact with the other man, fearing more of his own reaction to whatever expression was on Honda's face, than what Honda was actually thinking.

Honda's back straightened and he considered Yugi's words. After a long moment, he answered. "I think I had would have a lot of questions." He paused, but Yugi didn't say anything. "I would ask how he was coming back, why he was coming back, what his reasoning was. But I'd be happy for him, anyway. If that's really what he wanted to do, then I wouldn't reject him."

Yugi was inwardly relieved at Honda's answer. His initial answer to Yugi asking was even more brutal than Jounouchi's—that much Honda had proven—but ultimately, he would accept Atem's return pretty much at face value. His heart dropped when Honda spoke up once more.

"But Yugi…"

Yugi looked up.

"Why are you asking me this?" he asked. "Why now, after three years?"

"Because he said he was coming back," Yugi answered, matter-of-factly.


	7. Chapter 7

Honda's eyes grew wide as he processed Yugi's words. He couldn't understand them at first, but in truth, he felt as if though he shouldn't have been surprised by what the other had said to him. In their adventures as teens, he'd had to experience incredibly wild things that most people would institutionalize him for. Between getting sucked in the Shadow Realm by a taken over Bakura, to being turned into a monkey, to watching his best friend being taken over by a 3,000-year old spirit, there was no reason why this small piece of information would impact him so much. But it did.

He composed his face and regarded Yugi with a look of sympathy and sternness. "Yugi." He shook his head, watching as Yugi's face shifted into something that resembled guilt. Honda didn't understand it, but he continued. "I really think you need to get help."

Yugi was visibly shaking from how upset he was. He felt like he could stab everything that crossed his path, but his feet remained stuck in place where he stood. "I should've just kept my fucking mouth shut," he hissed through clenched teeth. "So fucking nice to know that my friends think I'm fucked in the head." He squeezed his hands into tight fists, his nails digging into his palms. He was trying to make himself bleed, to redirect his anger into the pain he was inflicting into his hands. He couldn't exactly grab a sharp object and cut himself in front of Honda.

Honda's expression changed to surprise at Yugi's words. "I never said that. Don't put words into my mouth, Yugi." He wasn't angry, but he was upset at Yugi's accusation. "I just think you could use the help. I don't understand where this plummet came from."

" _Plummet_?" Yugi echoed, teeth still clenched. "I've only been dropping for the last _three years_ , Honda. I was trying to get better, but I'm not _fucking_ kidding when I say Atem's trying to come back."

"Dude, you need to _relax_ ," Honda snapped. He caught himself before throwing a tangent of his own and reeled back his voice. "I'm going to say something to you again. I think what you're doing to yourself isn't healthy. You're putting these false images in your head about Atem coming back from the dead. You're doing it to put yourself in some fantasy land where you never have to cope. It's not good for you. I know this is hard to hear, Yugi, but you need to hear it. If Atem said he's coming back, it's a phony, one-sided conversation you had with him. He's not here anymore, Yugi. Your depression is bad and I'm sorry I didn't notice it before. I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend. But I'm not gonna entertain this idea that he's coming back."

He stopped talking when he saw Yugi shake his head.

"Just stop," Yugi said quietly, his words harsh. "The store is closed. I don't need your help anymore right now, Honda. You can go home."

This time, Honda really was angry. "No. Now you're being evasive _and_ defensive. I'm telling you what you don't want to hear and not going along with what you're saying, so now you've put up a wall to push me away. I'm not playing this, Yugi. You need to talk to someone."

"No," Yugi snapped quickly. "What I _need_ is to go home and for you to leave me alone. I have no reason to lie to you, Honda, and you're treating me like a mental case."

Honda opened his mouth to speak, but Yugi cut him off.

"I need to go home," he said flatly. "I'm going to assume you brought your own key. Thanks for helping me today." He brushed past Honda briskly, leaving the man to stand in place.

Honda heard the door open and close, but Yugi had made no attempts to lock it behind him. Honda shook his head, chastising himself. He truly felt that in more ways than one, he had become a terrible friend to the former duelist. To go from being titled The King of Games as a teenager, to a near-forgotten game shop owner? In truth, after losing Atem and his grandfather, Yugi was trying to run away from the title. Anything that had to deal with both men in Yugi's life, Yugi tried to push aside. But when there had been discussions on selling his grandfather's store, that was something Yugi wasn't willing to brush off. While he had been doing better before the delusions of Atem's return, Honda knew that Yugi was struggling to find some sort of inner peace with his demons.

With a heavy sigh, Honda made his way to the door, locking it, and then leaving.

* * *

Now back home, Yugi had calmed down considerably. In the time it took him to walk from the game shop to home, he thought about what Honda had said to him. Was it really all in his head? Some fucked up way of coping with it? Were the conversations he was having with Atem just his deluded way of making him feel better? _If they are, I'm a glutton for punishment_ , he thought bitterly.

Jounouchi was probably home by now, considering the time and how early he had left to go. Yugi didn't envy Jounouchi having to come in at five-thirty to greet the truck, but he knew that the blonde preferred working early to get out early. He had a blatant disdain for working late and closing. Idly, Yugi wondered where Jounouchi was, since the noise of the television could not be heard. With a shrug, he made his way up to his room.

He made it a point to close his door anytime he was in his room. Not that he felt Jounouchi would intrude on him, but Yugi knew if his door was open, then the blonde would probably look in his general direction out of habit anyway. Yugi didn't feel like having to explain why he was cutting or talking to someone that wasn't actually there. _Because he's all in my head_.

He sighed aloud. He didn't have an answer for Atem yet, but he did want to give the spirit a piece of his mind. If Atem had been listening in on the thoughts Yugi was having, he would already have some answer waiting for Yugi. Then all Yugi had to do, was call him. Lately, though, anything that left Atem's mouth— _mind —_ never made the former duelist feel any better. _So maybe bitching him out will do the trick_ , he thought sourly.

"Atem," he said quietly. He was sitting on his bed, patiently waiting to see if the other would come or not.

To his surprise, Atem appeared before Yugi, a small smile on his face that quickly faded when the man noticed the expression on Yugi's face. _Yugi? What is it?_

Yugi inhaled deeply. "I just want to give you a piece of my mind." He made it a point to close his mouth, in fear of getting too loud. He wasn't sure if Jounouchi was taking a nap or if he'd left to relax, but Yugi didn't want to take that chance of the blonde stumbling into his room to see what Yugi was yelling at. _You make me fucking miserable._

Atem was taken aback slightly by the other's seething voice in his head. He certainly hadn't expected so much hostility to come from a generally gentle person. _Partner…? I don't understand._

 _You coming back,_ Yugi said simply, bitterly. _It's all in my head. Making my friends think I'm a mental case. Wanting me to see a therapist. You're not coming back because you don't exist anymore._

The other man stayed silent, his expression remaining devoid of emotions. It was carefully composed, while his voice stayed just as level. _I'm not fake, partner. If you want me to come back, I will._

 _Then why do my friends think I'm a nut job?_ Yugi borderline shouted out loud. _I ask them what they'd do if you came back, and they just give me the pity treatment and tell me to get help. It makes me feel worse._

Atem's eyes closed for a moment before opening again. _I cannot control the way your friends think, Yugi. I—_

 _Yes, you can!_ Yugi interrupted. _All you have to do is show yourself to them. Make them believe you're really here. I'm tired of being the only one who can see you._

Atem gave Yugi a sad smile. _It's not that simple, Yugi. I can't show them that I'm here. That's—_

 _Because you're all in my fucking head and I'm some loony bitch that needs to be locked up._ Yugi was seething at this point. _Only I can see you because I want to see you. And this wonderful little imbalance in my head lets me see you. Have conversations with you. But because nobody else is fucked in the head, they can't see you. Right?_

 _Yugi._ Atem's voice in his head was stern as he cut through the other's tantrum. _I cannot show them because it was not allowed. Just because I am here and can show myself to you, it does not mean I can do whatever I want. I am still bound by the rules of the Underworld. I am not here to cause you grief. My return won't be easy._

 _So tell me,_ Yugi spat. _What do you want from me?_

 _I want you to want me back,_ Atem replied, his voice calm. _But you can't need me. I told you before that the Millennium Puzzle needed to be completed and that you wanted me back in order for me to gain my own body. Getting ahold of the puzzle isn't going to be the challenge, Yugi. Right now, you need me more than you want me. And while that's more than enough for me, it's not what they want. I can't help you cope with this. Perhaps they were right._

Yugi was confused. Why was Atem telling him this now? Why didn't he say it all at once? _Atem? Why now? Why didn't you say this before?_

Atem gave Yugi a small smile. He moved to sit next to Yugi, who, surprisingly to Atem, did not push the spirit away. In a tentative action, he wrapped an arm around the other boy. _He's no longer a boy,_ he thought to himself. _I thought if I kept the rest of the story to myself, you wouldn't try too hard into doing something that wasn't real._ Yugi gave him a confused expression. Atem smiled. _Yugi, I want you to be able to live your life without my help. I want to be part of it, yes. But I want you to be able to smile without me._

Yugi pondered Atem's words for a moment, looking down at his fidgeting hands. _So… the only way you can really come back is… if I don't need you?_ Atem nodded once in response and Yugi continued. _Who's 'they'? What were they right about?_

 _The less I interfere with your life, the less you'll try to reach out to me,_ the other explained. _While you struggled before, you didn't try to call out to me or talk to me. You had moved on in some way, but I could tell you were still suffering. It probably wasn't a good idea to do what I did, but I didn't think it was right to keep it hidden from you. If I was to come back, I felt you should know._

 _By getting my hopes up?_ Yugi asked, his thought laced with sadness.

Atem shook his head. _No, Yugi. Not that. The ultimate decision is up to you. If you do not wish to have me back in your life, all you have to say is no. I know the Millennium Puzzle will find its way back to you, one way or another. But if you don't want me, then its completion won't trigger my physical body. I will take it with me and go back to the Underworld._

 _But..._ Yugi clasped his hands together tightly. _I don't want that. I don't want you to go away again. I lost you before. Is it really fair that I have to deal with it again? Next you're probably gonna tell me I have to talk to my grandpa and lose him all over again, right?_

Again, Atem shook his head. _No, Solomon has accepted his passing. If he were to come back, it would not be as a young man, but in the body he passed away in. I was a teenager when I died. At any rate, he doesn't want to come back. He just wants his daughter and grandson to be happy._

 _Grandpa doesn't want to come back?_ Yugi asked, his mental voice cracking.

Atem's mouth opened slightly, his eyes laced with concern for the other, but he couldn't think of any words that would make him feel any better. He closed his mouth and looked ahead in a pointless direction, not focusing on anything particular. His hand clasped Yugi's shoulder tightly, still searching for words. _Yugi… that's not the issue. Perhaps you should visit his grave. It would probably do you some good._

Yugi's eyes grew wide as he slowly turned his head to look at Atem. He turned his head away quickly, shaking it rapidly. He'd done just as well to avoid visiting the cemetery. _I'm not… I'm not ready for that_.

 _You are, though_ , Atem insisted gently. _You can do it, Yugi. You need to see his grave._

Yugi looked back at Atem with a look of deep disbelief and shook his head slowly. _No._

 _Yes_ , the spirit said firmly. _Whether you want to or not isn't the question, Yugi. You need to do this to gain a sense of closure. It'll help you._

Yugi let out a shaky sigh. _I don't know, Atem. I don't think I'm ready for this._

 _Was your confidence really that shattered when I left?_ Atem asked, curious.

 _It wasn't that,_ came the quiet reply. _It's not that I don't feel confident. I'm still very confident. It's just not going in the same direction as it used to._

 _What do you mean?_

Yugi paused, looking ahead at nothing specific. _I walk into every situation in life expecting to fail, though I try my hardest by instinct to make it through. It's a pain, honestly._

 _You want to give up?_

The other looked at the spirit and pondered his words seriously. Did he? It certainly would make things a lot less complicated. He didn't have many people to live for anymore. Nobody close, anyway. His grandfather was dead and Atem's tale of return seemed nothing more than a fairytale. _A bullshit one, if you ask me._

 _What are you thinking about, partner?_ Atem regarded him with a serious expression.

Yugi gave a bitter smile as he looked at Atem. _This whole situation. It's bullshit. I'm probably lying in bed right now, tired after working all day, and having a conversation with you because I'm so pathetic, that I can't deal with life right now. I've reached my breaking point, is the thing. So I do something as disturbed as this—make you appear in my head._

 _You can't control your dreams, Yugi_ , Atem said calmly. _You can close your eyes at night and have thoughts, but they're not dreams. I am not part of your dream and you are very much awake right now. If you were to call his name, Jounouchi would come in here within a couple minutes' time to ask you what it was you needed._

 _Maybe I am awake and talking out loud_ , Yugi thought, a note of sarcasm to his voice. _And maybe Jounouchi is in here watching me talk to myself like I'm a nutcase._

Atem sighed and shook his head. _I promise, Yugi, we're the only ones in your room. Jounouchi is in his room sleeping. Is my being here really that difficult to fathom?_

Yugi gave the other an agitated look, but sighed and relaxed it shortly after. _Okay… I believe you. It's just difficult to believe that you're really here and I'm talking to you. I mean, talking to you shouldn't be feasible in the first place._

 _We talked like this before_ , Atem replied easily, as if what they were doing now was just idle chatting.

Except, with Atem, there was never much room before for pointless prattle. Both were aware of this, and Atem couldn't help but to silently chastise himself for how casual he made his statement sound. The then boy would take liberties like that into his own hands without telling Atem—not that Atem was truthfully opposed to some of the things Yugi put him through—but it was typically something the spirit himself had gone out of his way to do. After all, the most significant moments in his life were when dealing with duels and finding more light on his shaded past. Now that there wasn't any rock left unchecked, it seemed almost strange to Atem. What was it like to _truly_ sit down with Yugi and chat over things that weren't cards and Egypt and the Heart he so often preached about? He had to admit, he felt a little lost.

 _Atem?_ Yugi's mental voice cut through Atem's train of thought.

The spirit looked at the other sitting on the mattress and noticed he was being regarded with a bright-eyed expression that resembled an odd mixture of innocent curiosity and worry. It wasn't like him to not have an answer for the other. _How long has he been waiting for a response?_ He kept the thought to himself, guarded from Yugi's prying. He smiled at Yugi. _What is it, Yugi?_

Yugi pursed his lips in minor annoyance. _What were you thinking about?_

Atem shook his head. _Nothing of importance. What is important, though, is you visiting your grandfather's grave. I think you'll find some closure in doing so, Yugi. Help you come to terms on move on with a huge part of your life._

Yugi sighed. _I don't think I'm ready, though. I don't know if I can handle it_.

Again, the Pharaoh shook his head. _That's where you're wrong, Yugi. I believe you are ready to face it and I think that's why you haven't._ At the confused look on Yugi's face, Atem explained in more detail. _You've probably known for quite some time that you needed to see your grandfather to obtain any form of closure, and part of you doesn't want to because of what it means—to finally say goodbye._

The other gave a soft smile, barely there as he regarded Atem's words. "And you really expect me to keep living without you." His words were barely a whisper, fleeting like a summer breeze. He nodded once, a heavy, single nod. _Okay. If you think I'm ready, I'll go._


	8. Chapter 8

Yugi couldn't believe himself as he wrote the note for Jounouchi, slipping on his shoes, and then walking out the door. The Pharaoh had remained dutifully quiet as Yugi entered the public's eye, and Yugi wasn't exactly making jumps through loops to talk to him in his current state of mind. In fact, he felt like his entire head was void of any emotion and thought, except for one—fear. He was terrified of coming face-to-face with the tombstone that marked his grandfather's permanent place of existence. The longer he kept himself from the cemetery, the more likely it seemed that his grandfather would come waltzing through the door of Kame Games and tell Yugi how much of a wonderful job Yugi was doing at maintaining his store. Atem's idea of Yugi doing this was going to put those thoughts to rest and Yugi wasn't entirely sure if he was ready for it.

As he approached the entrance gate of the cemetery, Yugi audibly gulped. There were no other mourners today, so the entire cemetery would be empty. _Void of life_ , the former duelist thought. He couldn't bring himself to step any closer to the gate, his feet planted firmly on the ground. Atem, who, up until now had remained quiet for Yugi's sake, spoke.

 _What is it, Yugi?_

The other shook his head and spoke aloud, his voice a whisper. "I can't do this, Atem." To his surprise, Atem used his mouth to speak as well.

"You can," the spirit assured, with that same familiar firmness Yugi knew so well. "I promise you—you can do this. He'd want you to see him."

Yugi turned to look at Atem. "Will you be with me?" He was hopeful.

Atem shook his head. "No. This is something you have to do alone. This is just part of what you have to do. I will accompany you home when you are ready."

"But I'm ready now," the other whispered harshly.

The Pharaoh gave Yugi a look of sympathy, but he stayed true to his words. "I cannot hold your hand for the rest of your life, Yugi. You came so far and you lost your way. I can help bring you back to it, but in the end, you will not need me. That is the ultimate goal here."

Yugi was dissatisfied with Atem's answer, but he could see Atem's resolve on the matter was unshakable. The man may not have been the Pharaoh for over 3,000 years now, but his roots were still firmly planted on that foundation. His word was absolute and Yugi was in no position to argue with him. At least, not in this particular time when he knew his friend was right. He didn't want to admit it to himself—much less to Atem—that he was absolutely right in his words.

With a deep breath, Yugi trudged forward, his feet heavy as he moved. His grandfather's grave was several feet away and off the trails that were provided. Yugi remembered where his grandfather wanted to be buried, and he sighed. The walk to the place he rested seemed that much longer because of this. As he drew nearer, his heart beat faster. He thought about running in the other direction, never bothering to face this. He also thought about telling Atem that he didn't want him to come back.

However, neither of those ideas were truly heartfelt. In the depths of his mind, Yugi knew he wanted and needed to confront this. It was a barrier that desperately needed to come down, or he'd never get better. He'd missed his grandfather so much, not having the chance to hear his voice or any of his knowledge on Duel Monsters.

He stopped when he stood in front of the headstone that marked Solomon's final resting place. It had been well kept within the last three years, with flowers adorning it and little knick-knacks of figurine Duel Monsters. Someone had even left an Exodia figurine and Yugi had to wonder idly how nobody had bothered to take off with it. Then again, compared to most headstones, his grandfather's was definitely the most well taken care of. In a distant part of his mind, Yugi was thankful for this.

His legs were beginning to collapse on him, and Yugi surrendered without so much as a fight, landing rather gracelessly onto the ground. The grass provided some padding, but the impact had definitely not been forgiving to his knees. He paid it no mind, however, as his eyes were transfixed on the tombstone in front of him. It brandished the man's name and a short phrase beneath it: "The Heart of the Cards Rests with You." The words held a deep meaning because not only was Solomon as passionate about respecting the cards as Yugi was, but the sentiment each card Solomon had was deep and unmoving. He brought his fingers up to touch the tombstone, tracing over the letters. It was in doing so that his resolve broke and he came to tears.

No matter how much he tried to suppress them, the tears flowed freely from his eyes. His shoulders shook with trying to stop, but it was no use. The reality of his grandfather's passing was solidifying. He cried for several long minutes without stopping, his throat becoming hoarse and his head starting to ache. When he was finally able to stop crying, he looked at the tombstone again. He struggled to formulate a lucid thought in his mind, but everything was clustered as his emotions continued to ravage it.

Again, Yugi was stuck in a situation where he had to try to come up with something acceptable to say; but it was to someone who couldn't talk back to them. He wasn't sure if he could do it. He continued to trace the embossed letters on his grandfather's tombstone, chin still quivering as the tears threatened to attack, but his mind remained blank. He didn't know what to say and apologizing to the man seemed unnecessary. What could he say? That he was sorry for not having visited in two years? What would it matter? His grandfather was dead. Still, there was something breaking through in his mind that wasn't totally emptiness—it was guilt.

He suppressed the tears that threatened to fall and uttered a single, soft word.

"Sorry."

* * *

Yugi left the cemetery shortly after visiting his grandfather's grave, not surprised that the man hadn't uttered a word to him. He was dead and moved on, after all. He wasn't disappointed by the lack of his grandfather's presence, but physically exhausted after confronting something so emotionally distressing. Atem had reappeared, just as he had said he would, but didn't say a word as he walked with Yugi back to his apartment. Yugi appreciated the silence and used the time to think about his visit to the cemetery.

While he was exhausted now, he felt like something had been lifted from him. It wasn't a reality he wanted to face, but he knew it had been necessary. His grandfather had never been disappointed in him, and he'd even managed to feel a sense of pride in knowing that when he was sitting in front of the tombstone. Still, there was a tinge of disappointment that lingered. He tried to shake it off, reasoning that it was because of Atem's presence that Yugi had thought his grandfather would do the same, but it still remained.

Atem had stayed quiet during the walk home, but he could see it on Yugi's face that the other was having issues resolving himself. _Partner?_

 _I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to me right now_ , Yugi replied with a snap.

The former Pharaoh bristled slightly at Yugi's words, but listened nonetheless. He would wait until they were back in their apartment.

* * *

Back at the apartment, Yugi removed his shoes and noticed a pot of coffee had been made. It was a strange time of day for Jounouchi to make a pot, considering he only ever drank it in the morning, but Yugi didn't question it much as he made his way to the cupboard to get a cup of his own. He took a drink shortly after pouring it, then grimaced. The strength of the coffee made the relevance to its time made—it was incredibly weak compared to Yugi's usual preference. Still, he reasoned that coffee was coffee and there was no sense in letting it go to waste. He set the cup down on the table after finishing it. Even as he walked upstairs to his room, he didn't see Jounouchi.

 _Where on earth is he?_

He pushed open the door to his room and saw Jounouchi sitting on his bed, eyes stern and arms crossed. Yugi felt fear creeping up his back, but remained calm as he looked at his dresser. The box that once contained the Millennium Puzzle, then Atem's deck, was opened. The razorblades Yugi had hidden inside it had been taken out and were lying on the table next to it. He gulped silently, trying to come up with an excuse if questioned. No answers came to him.

"What the hell, Yugi?" the blonde snapped. It came out more as a command than a question. He held up Yugi's notebook and shook it in his hand. "So, you weren't even goin' to show this to me, were ya?" He shrugged and twisted his mouth. "Ya couldn't fucking talk to me? So ya _hid_ it from me? What'd I tell ya? The fuck you hurtin' yourself for, anyway? What's it do for you that talkin' to me can't? Huh?" He paused for a moment to give Yugi a chance to explain.

Yugi's mouth remained closed. Jounouchi's response was to become angrier.

"For fuck's sake, man." He slammed the notebook onto the floor and stood up. "This is _not_ how you're supposed to get better." He pointed a finger angrily at the other. "Take off your shirt. _Now_."

Yugi shook his head. He was still having issues formulating sentences, let alone words. All he could do was shake his head.

"Do it or I'll fucking rip it off," the blonde threatened through clenched teeth.

"Why do you even _care_?" Yugi shouted. He clutched at the sleeves of his shirt, refusing to cross that barrier. He knew at this point that it was pointless—Jounouchi had obviously put two and two together and realized what Yugi had been doing behind his back. He'd already come face-to-face with his grandfather's resting place. Why was he being forced to deal with this too? _Can't this wait?_ "Leave me alone!"

"Like hell!" Jounouchi replied. "Tell me what the fuck this does for you. _Now_ , Yugi."

Yugi shook his head. "It…" He stopped and Jounouchi waited quietly for him to continue. Yugi rolled his eyes at himself and shrugged. "It's distracting. It helps to redirect the pain." He spoke slowly, each word a difficult part of his confession. He couldn't expect Jounouchi to understand how self-inflicting had made him feel, but Jounouchi never wanted to understand—he just wanted to know.

Instead of getting angrier like Yugi thought he would, Jounouchi looked sad. He looked rather guilty too. "So… how long has this been going on? You couldn't come to me for anything? I didn't know. You seemed like you were starting to feel a little better."

"I was," Yugi replied instantly.

Jounouchi wasn't satisfied with the answer, though. "But it wasn't because you were talkin' to me or writin' on your journal. It was because you were cuttin' yourself. That's what made ya feel better."

The other felt a sense of guilt and shame, but he couldn't think of anything to say. He was now stuck in a position where he was no longer the victim of his pain, but the villain hurting his friend. His inability to talk to Jounouchi and taking it upon himself to find a temporary means of cure for his ailing was a betrayal to the blonde who had put in so much effort to help him overcome his grief. An apology seemed pointless when he was probably going to turn around and hurt himself again as a form of punishment.

"Tell me, Yuug," Jounouchi's voice broke through the man's thoughts. "Did you do _anything_ positive within the last couple a weeks?"

Yugi glanced to the right at nothing in particular and took in a deep breath. In a soft voice he replied, "I went to visit grandpa today."

At this, Jounouchi's expression changed to surprise. "You visited the old man? Really? Ya seemed pretty adamant about not goin'. Why the change?"

The other man simply shook his head. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me anyway. Something along the lines of 'one step forward, two steps back', right?"

Jounouchi's expression changed yet again, this time representing anger. "Don't assume what I'm gonna say. Tell me why you suddenly chose to do this."

Yugi hesitated for a moment, but he knew Jounouchi would only act within his own best interests. If Jounouchi felt like something would help Yugi's disposition improve, he would do it. That was just the type of friend the blonde was to Yugi. The problem was, it was Yugi who didn't want the help. In the last three years, he'd become accustomed to living in his own misery. It was home to him. If he had to be completely honest with himself, the change of happiness—true and bright—was intimidating to him. Still, whether he was afraid or not, he knew Jounouchi wouldn't go out of his way to hurt him.

"Honestly… it's been on my mind for a while," he said candidly, albeit hesitantly. "Remember when I said Atem was trying to come back?" He paused for Jounouchi's response, who chose to nod silently. "I was being serious about it. I wouldn't joke about something like that. He was the reason I went to see grandpa. So I did."

The blonde's face changed to sympathy. "How did that go for ya?"

"It was hard," Yugi replied quietly. "I wasn't sure I was ready for it and… being face-to-face with his headstone was something of an eye-opener. I didn't want to accept that he was gone." He shrugged. He was surprised he hadn't started to cry again, but he was also thankful. He was so tired of crying. "But I feel better. A little, anyway."

Jounouchi offered a small smile. "It'll get better. You feel a little better than you did before 'cause you learned to accept his passin'. You denied yourself that before. It'll suck for a while, but you'll eventually feel better about it. You know he was proud of ya."

"I do," Yugi said with a nod. Of that, he was confident.

There was a brief pause of silence between the men before Jounouchi spoke again. "I still want you to take your shirt off. I wanna see what you've done to yourself. An' I think it would be a good time to get ya to a therapist. Since I already know ya won't show me your journal like I asked, this is the next best thing."

Yugi hesitated, but complied. He removed his jacket to reveal multiple cuts lining his arms. Some of the cuts on his torso were covered by his tank top, but others were still visible. He felt rather uncomfortable being in this position, being scrutinized by his friend, but Jounouchi wanted to see for himself if Yugi truly was self-harming himself. Seeing the cuts was proof enough.

"I still don't understand why you do it," Jounouchi said, his voice purposely void of emotion. "But I'm not exactly in your position, now am I? I'm serious about the therapist too. It's gonna happen and I'm gonna make sure ya go." His expression was serious for added measure, but at this point, he knew Yugi wasn't going to argue with him. He quickly changed the subject. "I gotta question for ya, Yuug."

Yugi looked up at him, eyes curious.

"How come you can see and talk to Atem, but no one else can?"

Yugi gave a dry chuckle and a wry smile. "He says he's bound by the rules of the Underworld. He's here strictly for me and he's not allowed to expose himself to others." Distantly, he could hear Atem trying frantically to stop Yugi from talking, but Yugi brushed him off. He was tired of listening to Atem and his words. That question burned in his mind again: _Do you want me back?_

Jounouchi was confused. "Can he take over your body again?"

Yugi shook his head. "The Puzzle isn't here. Without it, he's just a wandering spirit. All he can do is talk to me and follow me around." He shrugged and folded his arms. "He's trying to talk to me right now."

"What's he sayin'?"

"He wants me to stop talking about this." He looked off to his left, though he knew Atem wasn't standing there. His physical presence hadn't manifested—he was talking to Yugi in his mind.

"What's the point of all this, anyway?"

"He wants to come back," Yugi replied simply. "But I told you that before. It's supposed to be this big ordeal. Or, I guess not so big." He shrugged. "He's being given a second chance at life with us, but there's a catch. I can't need him. But he's supposed to help me in his own way to get better."

"How is he supposed to come back, though?"

"When I've proven I can stand on my own without needing him."

Jounouchi gave another confused expression. "But… you've gone all this time without calling out to him or wondering what he would do in a situation?"

Yugi sighed. "Not out loud. In my mind, I always wondered what he'd do or what he'd say. So I guess I haven't grown up much at all."

"Even if you did manage this… How is he supposed to come back? What's going to bring him back to life?"

"The Millennium Puzzle," came the reply. "If I put it back together again and I want him back, then if I can prove I can live without him, he'll get a body of his own."

"Seems like fairytale bull ta me," Jounouchi said bitterly. "Atem doesn't seem like the type of person to say shit like that, Yuug. I'm really startin' to worry that it's really all in your head… But," he snapped quickly, before Yugi could protest. "If it is true, how are you supposed to get the Millennium Puzzle? It's with that archaeologist."

Yugi sighed. "Honestly… that's not the difficult part. Atem's confident the man will seek me out because I had it prior to surrendering it when we went to Egypt. The whole situation is reliant on my ability to stand on my own two feet without seeking Atem's help."

Jounouchi pondered Yugi's words. "Why does he want to come back so badly, though? Why now?"

"He's been watching me and he wants to help." The idea seemed somewhat disturbing to Yugi, but it certainly wasn't the first time he had to deal with a watchful Pharaoh. It seemed like it was second-nature for Atem to do just that.

"So…" The blonde took an extra few seconds more to think about his words. He brought his fingers up to his chin, as if they would help him formulate the next sentence. "Maybe the real test isn't whether or not _you_ can go without calling out to him… but maybe… if _he_ can go without trying to help _you_?" He smiled at himself, proud. "Think about it, Yuug. Atem can talk to ya and give ya advice, but you're the one who's gotta pull your own strings. He can't make you do shit."

Yugi pursed his lips. "This whole thing is stupid, honestly. I think he wants to play the helpful martyr again. He wants to help me. I think you're right, Jounouchi—I think this is just as much my test as it is his. We both have to learn how not to rely solely on each other. But I still don't understand why he waited so long. Or why he's even getting a chance to come back _now_."

"Maybe because of that archaeologist finding the Puzzle?" Jounouchi offered. "He probably didn't have a chance at all 'cause the Puzzle was still buried. With it being uncovered, it kinda gives a good opportunity for him to try coming back. Otherwise, what would the point be in doin' all this?"

Yugi nodded once in agreement. "That's very true." He sighed. "This is turning into quite the mess…"

The sound of the house phone ringing distracted them both from their thoughts. Their phone rarely ever rang, save for the rare times when Anzu could call. Even Yugi's mother wasn't as on top of contacting her son as she used to be. So when the phone rang, both men looked at each other with obvious confusion. Jounouchi's longer legs allowed him to get ahead of Yugi, running faster towards the phone to answer it than the other. Yugi was close behind him, though.

Jounouchi picked the phone up from the receiver on the wall, glanced at the information the phone displayed with an arched eyebrow, and then pushed the button. "Hello?"

The volume was too low for Yugi to hear what was being said on the other line, but it didn't matter much when Jounouchi handed the phone to him. He was unnerved by Jounouchi's expression, but he took the phone nonetheless. He held it up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Mutou," the voice replied with a tone of professionalism. "My name is Dr. Haasan. I was informed by a colleague that you once had possession of the Millennium Puzzle."

 _Holy fucking timing,_ Yugi thought frantically.


	9. Chapter 9

"Yes, I'm Yugi," Yugi replied, trying to suppress the shock in his voice. "Why are you calling for me?"

"Straight to the point," Dr. Haasan chirped happily. "No sense in wasting time. I'm grateful for that, since I am on a time constraint. A colleague told me you once had possession of the Millennium Puzzle. To his knowledge, you're the only person who has managed to successfully piece the Puzzle back together. I was hoping, since I've had no success in completing it myself, that you could help me."

While Yugi was elated somewhat on the inside, he realized he should probably keep a sense of guardedness. "I don't understand why I should help you, though. I'm a busy person myself."

"Yes," the man agreed. "You run your grandfather's shop, no? I supposed I couldn't enlist the help of the former Duelist King with just the idea of putting together the Puzzle again. I can make it worth your time to come here and help me."

If Yugi had to be truthful with himself, he didn't particularly care for Dr. Haasan's choice of words. _Make it worth my while? What does he mean by that?_ He wasn't keen on the idea of flying over to Egypt on short notice to meet a man he'd never met before. "What do you mean?"

"I could pay you," he replied. "I know it'll probably cost a great deal of time and money to close down the store and fly to Egypt just for this simple task. Plus, I am aware that this is incredibly short notice of me to ask that you come immediately. I want your time to be compensated."

Yugi shook his head. "I'm not really interested in money. I'm doing fine financially."

"Well, if not money…" There was a brief pause on Dr. Haasan's side as he thought about his choice of words. "I suppose you would like the Puzzle back?"

Yugi hesitated. He truthfully did not want to go all the back to Egypt. It meant facing the door to the Underworld again. Coming face-to-face with one resting place was enough in a single week. He wasn't ready to face the door that sealed Atem off from him. He came to one realization, though—he wasn't truly mourning Atem's departure anymore. Atem's spirit had been following him around for quite some time now. He was talking to him. The only difference was the fact that Atem couldn't use Yugi's body anymore. Not without the Puzzle. The opportunity was presenting itself to Yugi. Everything that Atem had mentioned to him was coming into play.

Yet… Yugi was hesitating. In the beginning, he'd wanted nothing more than to have Atem back in his life. According to Atem's explanation, however, it couldn't be like before when they were reliant on each other. It had to be different. Yugi was an adult, after all. He didn't even depend on his mother anymore. Atem was different, though. He always had been. But something about this just seemed off to Yugi. Atem was displeased when Yugi explained everything to Jounouchi.

 _Maybe… Jounouchi was right. Maybe I do enjoy being miserable. I want him to come back. But… I don't at the same time…_

"Mr. Mutou?" Dr. Haasan's voice cut through Yugi's thoughts.

 _Damn it,_ Yugi chastised himself mentally. _I need to stop going on these mental tangents_. "I'm sorry, Dr. Haasan. I know you're on a time constraint, but will you allow me a few days to think about this? This is a huge thing to ask of me."

"Of course," came the reply. There was a tinge of disappointment, but the professionalism covered it up well enough. "Let me leave you a number you can reach me by. When you've made your decision, please don't hesitate to call me."

Yugi secured the phone between his shoulder and head in order to free his hand to look at Jounouchi and gesture for a pen and paper. The blonde wordlessly reached for a drawer nearby and pulled out a small notepad and a pencil, handing them to Yugi. Yugi scribbled the number Dr. Haasan gave to him, uttered a few noncommittal phrases, and then hung up. He looked down at the paper with a mixed expression on his face.

Jounouchi's expression changed to resemble Yugi's and asked, "What was that about?"

"He wants me to come to Egypt," Yugi replied, voice carefully void of emotion. "He wants me to put together the puzzle because he can't."

"That's a helluva lot to ask of ya," Jounouchi quipped. "An' I bet he was all gun-ho about ya comin' right away?"

Yugi nodded. "I imagine he probably wants to figure out the secrets behind the Puzzle and whether or not they're just folklore, but… I can't imagine Ishizu would want him to know that. She knows he came by the museum, but I don't know if she knew he had planned to go out to Egypt. I mean, I guess she must know by now—it was in the newspaper a while ago."

There was a brief moment of silence before Jounouchi spoke. "Does… this mean that Atem will come back?"

Yugi's mouth twisted, hesitant, before replying. "Not necessarily. The Puzzle's vital, yeah. But putting it back together doesn't guarantee he'll come back. I guess there's an easy way to look at it—we're in something of that dreadful puppy dog stage of love. It's all about needing versus wanting. In our own stupid way, we need each other more than we want each other. And the whole point is about learning how to go on in life without needing each other."

Jounouchi gave Yugi a cheeky sneer and Yugi grew a bit uncomfortable.

"So… you're lovers?" His tone was playful, but teasing.

Yugi rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. "Shut _up_. It was just a stupid way to explain it. Incredibly stupid. How old are you again? It was an _analogy_. Jounouchi!" he snapped when the blonde refused to quit his expression. "I didn't mean anything by it! We're _not_ lovers." He sighed in frustration and Jounouchi's expression was finally reigned into something more serious.

"Sorry, not sorry," the blonde retorted. "You were owed that, ya asshole. You're an idiot for hurtin' yourself on purpose. I'm still pissed ya didn't tell me about it and I still don't understand why, but I'm not gonna let you deal with this on your own. I thought I was doin' okay before, but obviously not. So. I'm gonna take the blades from your room and hide my spares." He made his way up to Yugi's bedroom and Yugi followed suit.

The other's expression changed to embarrassment and guilt, but he had figured that sooner or later, he would have to deal with the consequences of his actions. He knew it from the start that he would have to deal, but the distractions were nice while he had it. The scars were nothing—it was Jounouchi's reaction when he found out that worried Yugi. The fear was gone, but he knew he would have to prove himself to Jounouchi now.

Jounouchi clapped Yugi's shoulder hard enough that it was still considered friendly, but there was a warning behind it as well. He left without saying a word, but Yugi knew what Jounouchi had meant to imply— _I'm going to keep my eyes on you_.

Throughout the entire ordeal, Yugi had failed to realize just how much his heart had been pounding in his chest. Being found out had been terrifying and Yugi was afraid that Jounouchi's reaction would have been much more severe than it was. He knew his friend would be disappointed in him for taking such a childish measure of self-assurance and relief, but he was afraid that the other would be much more drastic about it. He truly was grateful to have Jounouchi as a friend and roommate.

Willing his heart to relax through slow, deep breaths, he sat down on his bed and propped his head up with his hands, elbows resting on his thighs. During the conversation with the blonde, Yugi had heard Atem in the back of his head, chastising him for openly discussing the entire situation he and the Pharaoh were dealing with.

 _It must not have been a big deal before_ , Yugi thought, _because I was only being hypothetical about it. Now that Jounouchi knows the whole story, what's going to happen to Atem?_

His question went unanswered, however, as his mind was blocked off from Atem. He'd learned how to tune the spirit out of his mind from time to time when he wanted a moment to himself. Still, with the way the spirit sounded in the back of his mind, he was sure to get a visit. Knowing Atem, it was probably going to be relatively soon, since the spirit wasn't confined by the need to walk or use doors.

In spite of the fact that his situation with Jounouchi left him feeling painfully exposed and vulnerable, he was glad his friend had discovered what he'd been doing. It wasn't that Yugi had thought about using the blades to end his life, but to validate what he was feeling and redirect the pain onto something else. It made him feel good, but it was just barely different from using drugs. The aftermath of his self-inflicting had left dozens of scars on his arms and chest, and while many of them have and would heal without leaving much of a mark, some of the darker ones would stick around for a while. They were too close together and too neat to be considered the result of anything other than a precise cut by a blade. He hoped nobody would ask because the shame of his actions would make him relive the stupid decision in the first place.

 _I guess I would deserve it, though,_ he thought flatly. _Stupid decisions should be reprimanded._

 _But you shouldn't have to pay for them forever,_ came a response from a voice so familiar.

As it should be, though; considering it was Atem who had replied to Yugi. Yugi scoffed, but it had no feeling behind it. _Speak of the devil_.

Atem frowned as he stood before Yugi, arms crossed. His expression wasn't exactly happy as it was, and Yugi's bitter personality towards him was beginning to wane on the Pharaoh. His partner had changed so much in the past three years. It was alarming, unwelcome, and took a toll on him. _The devil is a trickster that loves to inflict pain. I do nothing of the sort._

Again, Yugi scoffed. This time it was filled with more anger. _Really? Feels like that's all you do to me._

 _I do not trick you,_ Atem snapped. He sighed and composed himself. _I need to talk to you. It's important._

The other pondered mockingly at this before speaking. _Lemme guess. You're here to tell me about my stupid mistake of telling Jounouchi everything about us._ It wasn't spoken as a question, but he could tell by Atem's face that he wasn't wrong.

The spirit's face was tight as he eyed the other with piercing eyes. _Part of my agreement with the Underworld was to keep this a secret from everyone else. The world doesn't need to know situations like these are possible. You, of all people, should know how people can be with information like this. They are greedy. If word got about this, just imagine what would happen._

 _I do know,_ Yugi replied calmly. _Jounouchi wouldn't tell anybody. He's too loyal to do that._ He gave a condescending look to the Pharaoh. _Or did you forget that with your whole 'people are greedy' speech?_

 _What I would give for the old Yugi back_ , the Pharaoh said quietly to himself.

It was meant to have stayed to himself, but the look on Yugi's face told him that the other had indeed heard the thought reach into his mind. Atem cursed to himself, successfully blocking Yugi from that thought; but it was pointless. The thought that was meant to be kept to himself had been freely dispersed to Yugi and now Atem was racking his brain for a way to explain himself to Yugi. Atem was expecting a form of unleashed anger being directed at him, but Yugi was physically calm in spite of his eyes being iced over. The way he spoke frightened Atem slightly.

 _The old Yugi was pathetic, remember?_ It was meant to be a question, but was spoken like a statement of truth. His mental voice was even, cool, and without emotion. But there was also that anger that threatened to seep through, and Atem hoped it would hold out with Jounouchi being in the house still. _His first course of action would have been to talk to you and ask what your opinion was. This Yugi? Not so much._ He shook his head to emphasize his words. _You have been nothing but a bother since you game back. You talk about the Puzzle, this stupid ordeal, and how I'm supposed to be reliant on myself. All the while, you're still following me like a lost puppy. Maybe this is_ your _trial. Isn't it, Atem?_

Atem was taken back by the ferocity in Yugi's mental voice. As the other had spoken on, that cool demeanor had cracked and his anger had come through. It made listening to Yugi all the more difficult, but Atem was never one to back down from any situation, no matter how fiercely someone barked at him. Yugi's words cut deep, but he focused on his expression again, turning stone to hide his hurting ego. It was his failsafe—a trait he'd picked up after taking on the role as Pharaoh. His intention was not to cause harm to Yugi in any way, but when the man in front of him refused to listen to him and treat him as poorly as he did, Atem was finally at his boiling point.

 _You've truly become so pitiful_ , he quipped bitterly. _The old Yugi was much braver than this one. He was worthier of everything you've obtained. This ordeal was a waste of my time. I put so much faith into you and it has failed me miserably. Only you were permitted to know of this and I thought that went without saying. The dead are not permitted to walk in this world and the living who impose on the resting place of the souls of the undead are monsters. My exception to this was you and the bond we shared. I see now that you have no respect for me, the rules I have to abide by, or for our connection. You don't want me back. You are utterly content to wallow in your own self-induced misery to see light. I wasn't going to put a time constraint on this, but it appears you're so foolish and stupid, that it's required. You have seven days to think about this, Yugi. Call for me earlier if you've made decision, but if not, I will come to you. I will not waste anymore words on you._

True to his word, Atem dissipated without another word. No farewell was uttered and Yugi was left to sit and stew with everything that Atem had just thrown at him. He'd never felt so lost in his life. Atem had left him again. The backlash of his actions that had been whipped in his face were overwhelming. He didn't know if he wanted to scream or cry—probably both—but all he could was just sit on his bed with wide eyes as every word Atem spoke to him through their mental link was burning themselves into his head. Literally every word burned, stung his eyes, and hurt his head. He wanted so desperately to shut his mind off and hack at himself, but he couldn't do that anymore after Jounouchi had taken away his blades and hid the extras.

Frustrated, Yugi took his hand and angrily shoved his nails into his other arm, dragging it up. He wanted the pain of Atem's words to stop and dug harder into his arm the more he thought about it. He was leaving trails of red marks up to his elbow, but it wasn't enough. He wouldn't be satisfied until there was blood. He drew his nails up his arm several more times before the pain became too much. He'd been unsuccessful in drawing blood, but the marks were so angry looking and stinging, that he felt it was enough. The pain was distracting him from his recent situation and that was enough for him. He waited a moment, taking in a deep breath now that he felt more relaxed, to fully compose himself. He couldn't face Jounouchi again with his body as exposed as it was—that would prompt more questions from the blonde.

He supposed that he could put his jacket back on. He doubted Jounouchi would even have to ask, since he already knew everything and knew Yugi had no access to the blades. He stood up to grab it and put it back on. He was tired of being in his bedroom, tired of all the negativity that had happened inside of it. It brought him little comfort at the moment and he wanted to be as far away from it as possible. He closed the door and made his way for the living room.

He could smell food being cooked and Yugi's stomach grumbled quietly. _When was the last time I ate?_ He couldn't remember very well. Everything seemed to be blending in a lot more lately. Atem's temporary departure from Yugi and the time he took to compose himself did shed a little light onto himself and his situation. He was painfully aware of the grief he'd caused Jounouchi by finding out that he was self-inflicting. He'd also discovered that he was less reliant on Atem's existence and that it was Atem who was more dependent on Yugi. He supposed Atem didn't like the truth being shoved into his face, but at the same time… He was desperate for Atem to come back and talk to him. Explain to him that his words weren't true. He was so conflicted by everything. He wasn't handling it as well as he thought he was, if his bitter and self-destructive personality was anything to go by. He was distracted by his thoughts when Jounouchi spoke up.

"Yo, Yuug," he said, cheerful despite the incident that happened just moments ago.

It was greatly appreciated by Yugi. "Hey. What are you doing?" He approached the table and leaned against it, a small smile on his face.

"I decided I was gonna make that soup," came the reply. "I figured… this day has been pretty exhaustin' to us both. What with you visiting your gramps' grave and all. An' me findin' out what you've been doin' behind my back."

Yugi felt guilt resurface at that and Jounouchi brushed it off in his own way.

"I'm not mad, Yuug," he insisted, turning the beef around in the pot casually. "Not anymore, anyway. I still don't understand why you did it, but… I guess I'm not exactly in the position ta judge ya for it. I'm just sorry I didn't realize you were doin' it earlier. Makes me a bad friend, don't it?"

Yugi frowned at this. "That's not true, Jou." He reached a hand up to clutch at his other arm, averting his eyes. "I didn't want to tell anyone I was doing this. It doesn't make you bad for not noticing. It was supposed to stay a secret."

Jounouchi was cutting up mushrooms and carrots into smaller pieces before adding them to the pot, along with the stock. He gave it a few more stirs to prevent anything from sticking to the pan before he turned to face Yugi. "So… in other words, it was supposed to get to the point where I'd come into your room and find ya on the floor, bleedin' out to death?" He had a deep frown on his face.

The other man shook his head vehemently. "No, of course not. It was never like that. I promise I'm not going to try killing myself. I just… it gets so overwhelming sometimes. Handling my job and school is difficult enough. It's so hard having to deal with Atem again on top of it all."

Jounouchi's mouth twisted at that. "Speakin' of Atem… what's goin' on with him?"

Yugi gave a short, humorless laugh. "To say he's upset with me is an understatement."

The expression on Jounouchi's face changed into one of worry. Yugi wasn't sure what for, though. "Why? Was it somethin' ya said?"

"Something," Yugi replied with a nod. "He's not happy I told you everything. He then proceeded to rip my ass apart and left. Says I have seven days to decide if I want him back."

There was silence as Jounouchi pondered over Yugi's words. "So… you have to just _want_ him back, right? Not need? But how are ya supposed ta put the Puzzle back in time to make that decision? I mean, it takes half a day just to fly one way… Not to mention the hassle of bookin' the flights."

Yugi shrugged, listless. "I imagine he just needs to know if I want him back. He didn't say anything specific about the Puzzle…"

" _Do_ you, though?"

Empty purple eyes looked back at expectant brown ones. "Honestly, I don't know. At first, it was all I wanted. I missed him when he wasn't around. Then, he comes back and I don't know how to handle it. The fact that he could come back just seems too good to be true. It's not a dream, but… it just feels like I'm being conned. Like maybe this whole thing is just a fucked-up Alice in Wonderland and Atem is gonna turn into that stupid rabbit Pegasus loved so much."

Jounouchi nods once in a manner that lets Yugi know that he understood what was meant. "I think that might be a bad comparison, though. All jokes aside, though…" He turns back to the pot to chop up a small onion, dicing it before adding it to the pot and stirring again. "This has been going on for a while now, though. So, I doubt he's gonna turn into a rabbit and psyche ya out. He wants ta come back, I think. Otherwise, ya wouldn't take this so hard. What exactly did he tell ya about yourself?"

Yugi scoffed. "That I'm a self-absorbed asshole who enjoys wallowing in his own misery."

The blonde whipped around. "No way. He really said that about you?" His eyes went wide when Yugi nodded to confirm his words. "Damn. Who knew?" He held up his hands in surrender when Yugi gave him a threatening look. "Look, bud. He's gotta point. You've been stuck in your own head for three years now. It's time for a change."

"You shouldn't have started that so late," Yugi pointed out, scratching desperately for a change of topics. "It's going to take forever for all the vegetables to cook through."

"We got all night, Yuug."

He frowned at this. "No, I have to work tomorrow. I'd like to be in bed at a reasonable time. There's no way you're going to get that done before ten. If you turn the burner up too high, you're just gonna damage the pot and the food is going to get stuck to the bottom of it and burn."

"Uh… you're not goin' ta work tomorrow," Jounouchi insisted firmly. He didn't turn to look at Yugi as he spoke and merely kept his attention focused on the pot of food. "I wasn't jokin' about gettin' professional help. You need it and I'm gonna make sure it happens. I expect you won't talk about Atem's return, but you can talk a bit about what happened in the past."

Yugi was bordering on irritated. At this point, he just wanted to go lie down. Everything about this day had been exhausting. From Honda's inability to believe that Atem could come back, to visiting his grandfather's grave, to Jounouchi finding out his shameful secret? That was enough to make him want to crawl beneath his bed. But to have Atem quite literally rip him apart on top of it all? It was enough to prompt Yugi to jump out of a window. He knew that was selfish and wouldn't actually attempt it—which was why he was opting simply to lie down and sleep.

"I just want to sleep, Jounouchi," he said carefully, through clenched teeth.

"I know for a fact that you just want out of this conversation," Jounouchi snapped. He didn't turn to face Yugi, and Yugi found a small part of him appreciating that. "Ya can't deal and ya just wanna run. I get that. You're not in a happy position and it pisses you off. But I'm not gonna let ya do that. You're gonna deal with this and I'm going to help you. So." He let go of the utensil he was using to stir the food and turned around to face Yugi. His expression was serious but caring, and Yugi couldn't decide if he wanted to try running away or cry. "While this cooks, we're gonna talk. Bein' alone clearly isn't doin' anything for ya. I hate that it's dragged on as long as it has. And I didn't even know about it."

Yugi knew to feel guilty for this but he was also incredibly tired of feeling guilty for his actions. He supposed he would have to take the heat for a while, given his actions were incredibly stupid, but he wasn't oblivious to their effects. There was only so much reprimand he was going to take before he bit Jounouchi's face off—quite literally—if hammered enough. He also knew it was going to take time before Jounouchi could fully trust him again to be on his own. He'd proven himself unable to.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Yuug?" Jounouchi asked. His voice wasn't as chipper as it typically was, but the blonde was curious enough to genuinely ask what Yugi had been pondering.

Yugi sighed, figuring he might as well start coming clean with his thoughts now, if he was going to start repairing the trust he'd broken with his friend. He took a seat at the table and stared at the imperfections that were there—small slices made by a knife with clumsy hands cutting vegetables, too stupid to use a cutting board—and traced his finger absentmindedly on top of them, feeling the indents. "Just how shitty this day has been, really." He paused, but no response came from Jounouchi. "It started at the shop. I asked Honda how he'd react if Atem came back and… he didn't take it so well. He said it was just me trying to cope with the loss of losing grandpa and watching Atem leave. Like I was just putting it all in my head.

"And then… Atem gets this bright idea for me to go visit grandpa. Course, you already knew that. And then you finding out I did… _this_." He points rapidly at his arm, indicating the cuts. "That was another blow. But I think what really got me was what Atem said to me. You finding out I was cutting? I figured that was going to happen sooner or later, though I certainly wasn't going to just candidly show you that I was doing it…"

"Are you sure you guys weren't lovers in a past life?" Jounouchi teased, a smirk on his face.

"Will you drop that already?" Yugi was unimpressed. He was trying to confess to the blonde to make up for what he'd done, and all he could do in response was to make fun of him?

"Well, have you ever seriously considered it before?" Jounouchi asked, his voice serious. "Nothing me or Honda have said has really hurt you that much. Pissed ya off, yeah. But not hurt. Everything Atem says seems ta cut ya right in half. If that's not a sign of dramatic teenage love, I don't know what is…"

Yugi sighed. "Except I'm not a teenager anymore."

" _Barely_ , Yuug. _Barely_. You've never given anyone else the time of day since he left. Ya didn't even try to stop Anzu from leavin' when she asked ya about trying to take things further. Anybody who tries ta advance on ya, you slip away from 'em. I've seen you do it. You always turn them down."

"I'm just not interested in anyone," the other replied flatly. "I had a crush on Anzu, yeah. I even thought at one point that I'd want to take things further with her. But then he came and I just stopped thinking about it. I haven't had a crush on anybody since I stopped liking Anzu."

"So… you're Atem-sexual?" He'd said it with the intention of being completely serious, but he couldn't help but to laugh at it once he'd said it.

"How old are you again?" Yugi snapped.


	10. Chapter 10

I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed this story so far. They mean a lot to me and I enjoy reading them. I'm glad you guys are enjoying my story. They make updating this story worth it.

* * *

Jounouchi snickered at his own joke, appreciating it twice as much when Yugi failed to see the humor in it. He'd meant it mostly just to tease the other, not delving much deeper than that. If he truly thought about it, though; it would seem that the two were definitely involved with each other. Except, neither seemed to be aware of it.

"Ah, come off it, Yuug," he said, waving his hand. "I mean… have ya ever taken the time to really sort it out for yourself?"

Yugi rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything as he thought about it. It was true that he held everything Atem said to a higher degree than everyone else. Equal to his grandfather, really; but he'd be lying if he said his relationship with Atem was never intense. Atem's presence seldom meant for normal days. It wasn't that he was complaining about it—he missed those adventurous days. He didn't miss the life-threatening parts of it, but definitely the spirit's company. He could never understand why so many people harbored a grudge against a man they'd never met. It seemed selfish. _Then again… I haven't exactly been the most selfless person around here…_

Jounouchi had remained quiet, tending to the soup he was making. He turned the knob down to reduce the heat and took a seat at the table next to Yugi. He propped an arm up and placed his chin in his open palm, looking at the table with a small smile. Even if he had no intentions of interrogating his friend, he still wanted the other to open up to him. He brought his eyes up to meet Yugi's. "Hi."

Yugi gave a short laugh. "Hi."

"Has anyone ever told ya you're a pain in the ass?" the blonde asked.

"Yeah, actually. I'm getting used to it."

"Good." Jounouchi nodded. "Because you are. Makin' me stay up late and shit to talk ta ya."

Yugi's mouth twisted, but Jounouchi's smile made him to stop and smile in return. "Please. I just wanted to go to bed. You're the one who decided to make dinner at a stupid time." His words were snarky, but the way he said them was playful, albeit quiet.

"You've changed a lot, Yuug," Jounouchi said quietly. His smile hadn't wavered off his face, though it was more sad than happy. "You're not exactly the same guy you were before. Which is okay, I guess. I mean… ya can't stay the same forever. Change is bound to happen." He shrugged mostly to himself. "Answer this for me, though. When you're around Atem, how do ya feel?"

Yugi took a moment to think about it. He felt so conflicted about what Atem did to him. "Before he left, I was… so reliant on him. I depended on him to back me up in everything I did. Facing him in that duel was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. I was happy for him when he finally got to rest, but… I felt like I was breaking in half. Losing him was hard enough. And then, to lose grandpa… That was too much. Atem coming back as a spirit was just painful. It feels like I'm breaking into pieces every time he comes around me because he's not really here. Like a ghost that doesn't know how to say goodbye because he's too selfish to let them move on. But then… I haven't exactly moved on myself. Him being around just made it harder. And I wanna move on and stand on my own, but he makes it hard when he contradicts himself." He shook his head.

"How do ya feel about 'im, though?" Jounouchi fixed his posture, resting both arms on the table before looking at Yugi with a serious expression. "It's obvious ya mean a lot to him."

A blush began forming on Yugi's face, but he decided to ignore it. "He's like a brother, I guess."

"You guess?" the blonde echoes. "C'mon, Yuug. Did you only say that just to answer me so you could get it over with?"

Yugi scoffed at this. "I've never really taken the time to think about it and I'm being totally honest about this. Maybe I am 'Atem-sexual'—as you put it—but I don't think what I'm feeling is exactly _love_ , either. I respect him a lot as a person. That's about it."

Jounouchi seemed dissatisfied with the answer, but he doesn't push. At this point, he figured it would be best to let Yugi have some time to really think about how he felt towards the spirit. Whatever he felt, it couldn't be one-sided. Jounouchi was positive of that. He removed himself from his seat to check on the soup, stirring it, then comes back to his seat to talk with Yugi more. "So I gotta 'nother question for ya. Have you pictured what your life would be like with Atem back in it?"

Yugi looked at Jounouchi with a wide-eyed expression. "You mean… with him just being Atem and not the spirit of the Pharaoh?"

Jounouchi nodded in his head in confirmation.

He shrugged in response. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm not doing good at thinking far ahead into the future. I guess maybe because I feel like taking it day by day seems to be stressful enough. There's no guarantee about the future. Why map it all out when I could get hit by a passing vehicle on my way to work in the next couple days?"

"But do ya really want to go through life blind as fuck?" the blonde snapped. "It's true: nothin' in life is guaranteed. Except for technology evolvin'. What're ya goin' ta school for? If you've got no ulterior motive for goin', why waste your time? Didja want to do anything besides ownin' your gramps' game store?"

Yugi pursed his lips, knowing Jounouchi wouldn't be happy with his answer. "School was just a distraction. That's all it was."

Brown eyes went wide, a mixture of anger and shock swelling in them. But he kept his mouth shut and waited for Yugi to finish explaining.

"After losing Atem and graduating high school, I needed something to keep my mind off him. I did so well in school that the scholarships pretty much paid for my full tuition, provided I didn't get stingy and look for room and board. I could go up to my Bachelor's, if I wanted, but I'm just going for my Associate's. Getting ownership of my grandfather's shop wasn't so much about distraction as it was not wanting it to go to someone else… I couldn't bear it if it had been given a new name under a different company."

Jounouchi looked down at his hands, unable to look at Yugi. He sighed. "What will you do when you graduate, though? Will you ever take what you've learned and apply it anywhere?"

Yugi gave Jounouchi a genuinely innocent expression that seemed lost. "Well, it's not like the time I spend in college is going to be an absolute waste. I said it was a distraction, and it was. But you remember what I'm going for, right?"

"Graphic arts and business management?"

Yugi nodded. "Yeah. Business management makes sense, considering I own a game shop. I'll admit I'm not the most organized about my register. Honda knows firsthand how terrible I am at dealing with costs. And I figure the knowledge I gain from graphic arts will help me design my own flyers using a computer. I can spruce up the hosting site I'm using for the shop and make it look that much better. It's not the best right now. I could also send in character designs to Kaiba for future monsters. Or revamped versions."

There was a moment of silence between them. Yugi was unsure of what to say next and Jounouchi was trying to rack his brain for a way to help Yugi.

"Are you just trying to make conversation with me to keep me from hiding in my room?" Yugi suddenly asked, slight accusation in his voice.

Jounouchi gave a dirty look. "Little bit, yeah." He snickered when Yugi rolled his eyes.

"Well, I came down here on my own," he assured. "I didn't want to be up there after what Atem said to me. Just left it feeling cold in my room. At least I know you'll still have my back."

The blonde beamed at the words. "Ya got that right. I'll still shove a reality check in your face from time to time, but I won't ditch ya."

Yugi smiled at that, but quickly lost it. "So why did Atem leave?" It was more spoken to himself than Jounouchi, but he had a feeling the other could probably come up with a reply that Yugi could agree with.

"Well… he's probably taking this as hard as you are," he replied. "I imagine, more than anythin', that he wants ta come back and be around ya again. An' I think him chewin' you out like he did was just his way of gettin' ya to open your eyes. He had ta invoke his inner Pharaoh again."

Yugi's expression was one of disbelief. "Really? Because that was like he was talking _down_ to someone. Some lowly peasant thief trying to do something huge and being put in his place again. Minus the execution."

"Can't say I blame 'im," Jounouchi agreed with a nod. When Yugi gave him an angry expression, he simply smiled. "Little nudges ain't doin' anything for ya, Yuug. I mean… look what I've tried doin' for ya, and ya still couldn't come to me. Pussy-footin' around ya isn't doin' shit. If I had heard what Atem had said, I'm sure it was probably way harsher than it needed ta be, but I bet it opened your eyes some."

Yugi looked down at the table, saddened that he wanted Jounouchi to paraphrase what the spirit had said to him before leaving. Thinking about it now with a calmer state of mind, Atem wasn't exactly wrong. _Harsh, but not wrong…_ "He said I was… a waste of time."

Jounouchi frowned. "He didn't mean it."

The other whipped his head up to glare angrily at Jounouchi. "You weren't on the receiving end of the chewing of the ass, now were you? He's never been harsh with anyone but his opponents. _I'm_ not his opponent."

"I'm tellin' ya, Yuug. He didn't mean it. You've been so self-absorbed that ya can't see straight." He extended his hands out to Yugi as emphasis, his expression serious but also determined. "He wouldn't give up on ya, and you know it. I just think maybe he was just tired of ya being so mean. I mean, I love ya, dude, but you've been so bitter. Kinda puts everyone else on edge just to be around ya."

Again, Yugi was put in a position where he would have to make amends for his poor behavior. It wasn't a pretty place to be, he realized. He'd gone from everyone feeling sorry for him and wanting to help him, to having to make up for everything wrong that he was doing. In the end, he supposed he was grateful that Jounouchi was sticking by him. "Yeah. You think Honda will stop talking to me too?"

Jounouchi was genuinely confused. "Eh? Nah. He's just worried in his own way. He wouldn't walk away from ya. He won't quit ya. I promise. He's my best bud. He's just got this one-track mind when it comes ta things."

Yugi smirked. "Sounds a lot like you, honestly."

"What's that?" Jounouchi gave a mock angry look, but it quickly faltered into a smile. "Yeah, I guess so."

"On a serious note, though…"

"Hm?"

"Even if we call the local Listening Ear, there's no guarantee that they'll have any openings available so soon," Yugi explained. "They could be booked into the next month."

Jounouchi didn't see the same issue Yugi did, however. "They have a hotline, Yuug. Even if they can't get ya into the office to talk, you could still call the hotline."

Yugi shook his head. "It's too awkward on the phone. I'd rather be face-to-face with someone when I talk to them about stuff like this. Even if they're judging me, they're good at keeping their expressions even."

"Well… even if they are judgin' ya, they won't act like it when you're talkin' to 'em." He stood up from the chair to check on the pot again, giving it another stir. Once turned around, he planted both hands on the back of the chair and leaned forward slightly. "If you're a real schmuck, they won't let ya know to your face."

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Well, that's comforting…"

"I'm teasin' you," Jounouchi assured. He walked to the side of the chair before sitting back down again, and looked at his friend. "Maybe there's a couple that don't really wanna do their jobs an' probably are judgin' everything you say. But most of 'em don't. They really are there to help. An' I think havin' an outside perspective will make things a little clearer for ya. I'll always be there for ya, but there's only so much I can do for ya."

"I know." Yugi felt a little guilty for putting his friends through all of this. He hadn't meant to drag anyone down with him, but he supposed that was just how things went when your friends stuck by you through every ordeal, big or small. He'd never be able to express enough gratitude for them.

After a beat of silence, Jounouchi spoke. "Well… I turned the burner down to simmer so it could cook long and slow. How's about some TV?"

Although taken aback slightly by the blonde's sudden change in topics, Yugi was appreciative of it. He was tired of talking about Atem, his depression, and the poor decisions he'd made within the last couple of weeks. He offered a small smile and stood up, pushed his chair in and followed his roommate into the living room. He took his usual seat on the green sofa and Jounouchi sat in his recliner.

Jounouchi typically kept the remote on the table next to his chair because he was more fond of using the television than Yugi was. Yugi was more inclined to read, if the bookshelf full of books in his bedroom was any indication. He had no qualms about Jounouchi having control over what they were going to watch. However, as Jounouchi flipped through the channels, Yugi found himself looking to the top of the entertainment center. His eyes went a little wider as he realized he'd never fixed Atem's photo. It was still face down. That guilt that he felt before came back even stronger. It left him feeling winded.

 _Atem couldn't have failed to see that..._ he thought. He lowered his eyes and looked at a spot on the floor. _Maybe that was the last straw. Maybe that's what really made him break. I didn't help matters any by being so selfish, but… I forgot about his photo. I never fixed it._ He looked back to where the picture frame was still lying down. He wanted to fix it, but he didn't want to get up and stand in Jounouchi's way. He didn't understand why he felt so clueless as he turned his attention to the blonde, but he could just imagine how pitiful his face looked at that present moment.

Jounouchi was concerned, but confused. "Yuug, what's wrong?"

"Atem's picture," came the response. "I forgot. I flipped it down and never fixed it…"

"So fix it."

The response was simple enough, spoken evenly and quietly, like the answer was so straightforward. Sometimes Yugi had to wonder how Jounouchi managed to stay so confident in himself. He wondered where his confidence went to. He felt like a much bitter version of his former shell—all talk and meekness, but with more asshole than nice guy. Still, he felt his legs move to stand him up and he made his way for the entertainment center. It wasn't very far away at all, but those few steps to it felt like miles. It was just a photograph, but Atem wasn't dumb. He'd probably seen it on one of those days that he wasn't following Yugi around and it probably stung more than he had let on.

His hand touched the frame and he could feel instantly where the crack was that he left it. He considered the idea of getting a new frame for the photo, since the others were in better condition, but maybe the simple act of correcting the frame would be a start to a much needed apology to the spirit. He positioned it back into its proper position. The photo was still the same—Atem smiling thanks to Yugi's antics—but the memory seemed so far away now. He let out a breath he'd been holding and quickly took his seat on his sofa. He didn't see the smile on Jounouchi's face because he was more focused on looking at the photo.

The soup took a couple more hours to fully cook and the two men watched television in silence. They hadn't even bothered to sit at the table when it was finished, opting instead to grab tablecloths and holding their bowls as they sat in the living room to watch whatever decent programs were being aired. Nothing seemed particularly interesting to Yugi—only the photo of Atem. He had to come up with a way to make it up to Atem, but it would have to wait for a little bit. Jounouchi was adamant about him seeing someone to help him, and he wasn't going to be at work tomorrow. He had to figure as much when it was nearing on midnight and Jounouchi was busy eating his third bowl of soup, forcing Yugi to eat a second one, since the soup was made specifically for him. He wouldn't complain, though.

When the clock changed to three in the morning and the pot was completely empty of its contents, Yugi was starting to pass out on the sofa. There was nothing but infomercials at this point and Yugi dreaded the idea of Jounouchi actually renting a porno. Was _insistent_ that Jounouchi didn't do that. The blonde had argued that his friend really had changed, but Yugi didn't have much to counter him. When the blonde tried asking him again, Yugi had a response for him.

"Come on, Yuug," he pleaded. "Ya would've done it in when we were in school!"

Yugi rolled his eyes. "That's because we were childish and immature. You still drool over side boob. Remember when that guy stopped by you and all you saw was his side? You didn't even realize it was a guy and you got _so_ excited." He laughed when Jounouchi's face turned red.

"Shuddup," the blonde snapped, trying to cover his embarrassment. "The dude was effeminate. He had long hair and a pretty top on. I couldn't help but notice!"

"Aw, come on," Yugi said, pitying his friend with a teasing tone. "Mai would appreciate the humor in this. She couldn't possibly get jealous that you were checking out another guy."

"Dude! How could you _not_ think it was a women? He had fuckin' _tits_ and wore a revealing shirt." He felt like his face was getting redder, but he wasn't going to crack. "There's nothin' wrong with noticin'. It's not like I was gonna take 'im home or anythin'."

"So you appreciate pretty guys?"

Jounouchi scoffed. "I'm secure in mah sexuality. How about that. He was tryin' ta be a woman and he was doin' a fine job at it. His efforts didn't go unnoticed." He shook his head at his own words, felt his face grow even hotter. "Damn it, Yuug."

Yugi laughed in response. It was so genuine and honest, it almost surprised him. He didn't think he was even capable of laughing an honest laugh anymore. He was so miserably depressing around others. His relationship with Atem was so "doom and gloom" that it took everything in him just to maintain his other daily tasks—showering, eating, communicating. Simple things that should come firsthand, but didn't. He felt like he should be wallowing over Atem's parting words, but he wasn't. He was sitting in the living room at three in the morning, watching infomercials with his best friend and enjoying himself. _This was needed_ , he thought. It felt like a true first step to getting better, knew it was going to take much more than this, but this was the happiest he felt in a long time. _And I didn't need Atem to make it happen._


	11. Chapter 11

Somewhere between four and five o'clock, Yugi and Jounouchi had fallen asleep in the living room. Jounouchi had pushed his recliner back so he could lie down better, and Yugi was curled up against the armrest of his sofa. The television was still on, playing children's cartoons. Jounouchi snored softly while Yugi started to stir at a noise. It was the phone ringing, he realized. His eyes opened quickly, though he made no hasty attempts to sit upright to answer. He was tired, having stayed up most of the night, and figured if it was important, the person would leave a message for him.

When he made it to the phone, he'd missed it by a single ring. He waited for the machine to beep, signaling a message, then pressed play.

"Hey, Yugi, it's Honda. I'm just a little worried because it's going on ten now, and you're not here at the store. I was gonna stop by and see how you were doing." There was a pause before Honda's voice came again. "I'm sorry I was an asshole yesterday. I'll get it if you're still mad, but I hope you call back." Another pause, then, "Well, bye…"

In all honesty, Yugi had no idea what time it was because his first experience of the day was Honda calling him. He wasn't totally surprised that he'd slept so late, but he was at the same time. He imagined his alarm must be going off in his room. It was a traditional alarm clock, equipped with annoying bells that sometimes breached Jounouchi's slumber. He was being dramatic, of course, because Jounouchi slept with three sources of sound when he slept—an industrial fan, the ceiling fan, and a playlist of acoustic music. Yugi felt glad he didn't need all those crutches to sleep, but he absolutely needed silence to sleep. It was a wonder he even managed to sleep with the television on. Yugi was also kind of glad he didn't have a cellphone. Between the house phone and the Kame Game phone, he really didn't need one. Jounouchi tried numerous times in the past in case Yugi was at school and needed to contact Yugi for something, but he simply told Jounouchi to leave a note at the apartment for him.

He stood by the phone for a moment longer before deciding to make his way up to his room. He was grimacing at the fact that he had fallen asleep in his jeans—he just wasn't one of those people anymore—and desperately felt the need to shower and get himself out of his soiled clothes. He knew it was just him being dramatic, but he could swear every movement left him feeling the sweat that had built over the course of the night. He entered his room and made his way for the dresser, pulling out clean clothes, then shut off his alarm. Soon after, he made his way towards the bathroom. He didn't bother to stay in his room any longer for now.

Once he was finished cleaning himself, he headed back downstairs. Jounouchi was still asleep in his recliner, and Yugi had to wonder if the blonde had the day off, or if he wasn't needed until later in the day. Either way, he figured he could be a good roommate and make a fresh pot of coffee. They never made full pots because neither was home for most of the time. It seemed senseless to waste coffee by making a full pot they would never be home to enjoy. Jounouchi had been more frugal with it at the time, insisting that it was fine to nuke in the microwave, but that was just something Yugi couldn't agree with. They came to the agreement to not make a full pot.

He noticed the pot was still on the stove, void of its content, but still retained remnants of the soup they'd eaten just hours before. He grimaced—it wasn't like him to let something sit on the stove all night—and stuck it in the sink to add dish soap and hot water to it. He'd deal with it later, when Jounouchi was awake. He wasn't going to be rude and wake him up. While he was waiting for the coffee pot to finish, he thought of a conversation he and Jounouchi had just a couple years ago.

Jounouchi had wanted to get a bird. Any kind of bird, really, since he'd never had the chance to experience having a pet. His parents never bothered with them, and his father wasn't going to let him have one while living under his roof. The gang suggested he get a cat or something small, like a hamster. Something that wouldn't be too difficult to take care of and maintain. He was insistent, however. He'd seen so many videos of different species of birds; experienced their varied personalities, intelligence, and antics. He'd really fallen for parakeets, cockatiels, and cockatoos. Much to the relief of his friends, he said he'd never try to obtain a cockatoo, since they were greatly out of his price range. That didn't bother him so much, since there were so many videos of cockatoos, each with their own personality. Instead, he had redirected his focus onto parakeets and cockatiels. Then ultimately, decided his goal was to get a parakeet.

Yugi remembered the conversation he had with Jounouchi about his decision. He'd asked, _"Why a parakeet? Why not something equally as small, but quieter?"_

Jounouchi's response had been bright and optimistic, a huge smile on his face. _"Parakeets are tiny balls of attitude. I may not be tiny like you, but I've got a ton of attitude!"_

Yugi smiled, looked at the counter, thinking about the memory. He was happier then with his grandfather around. He missed that feeling. He missed silly conversations like that. They were so serious anymore, and he was greatly responsible for that. He wasn't unaware of that fact at all—but he did choose to ignore it as often as possible. He shrugged to himself and reached into a nearby cupboard for a cup, intent on getting a cup of coffee. He considered making one for Jounouchi, but if he had to perfectly honest with himself, he wasn't sure what he blonde's ratio was. If anything, he figured it was more milk and sugar than it was coffee; but he decided the nicest thing he could do for the other was to grab a cup for him and set it by the coffee pot. He made his way back into his room, debating with himself if it was really a good idea or not.

He already knew Atem wouldn't make himself known unless Yugi called for him, so he wasn't worried about any surprise visits. The issue focused on the negativity he felt while being _in_ his room was what he was trying to get over. He didn't want to associate it with bad thoughts and ill-will. Mainly because of what Atem had told him before leaving. He took a seat on his bed and reached for the box on his dresser, taking out the deck that was inside of it. He positioned himself further onto his bed, sitting with his legs crossed, and looked at each card.

 _It seems like only yesterday that it happened_ , he thought. _But it wasn't because yesterday was bitter and miserable._

As he looked at each card, his mind warped back to his final duel with Atem. It wasn't a bitter experience for him at the moment, but a reflective one. He thought about what life would be like if Atem were alive. As a normal human being with no powers. He imagined it would be a little difficult to deal with it at first. Realistically speaking, Atem would be another person to support, unless he was given a job at the shop. Yugi could afford to pay Atem a wage, but maybe Atem could just do things around the house when he and Jounouchi were busy. There was also the issue of where Atem would sleep. Yugi's room was full of his own things—where would Atem _possibly_ keep his things?

 _He would need clothes and his own stuff_ , Yugi thought. _This is just a two-bedroom apartment. I guess I'm selfish if I don't want to move into a new apartment just so he can have his own room_. _But I would have to talk to Jounouchi about this too—I can't just say that we're moving and expect him to be okay with that. This place is just as much his as it is mine. Atem will just have to deal with it, really, if he wants back in_ …

Glancing around his room, he imagined what it would be like to have Atem living with him. Specifically, in his bedroom. He couldn't see Jounouchi sharing his space—especially on the days that Mai came to visit. Jounouchi would literally kick Atem out onto the couch. He wondered how Atem would adjust to it. He would no longer be a ghost and would have to care for himself. He figured the spirit was used to sleeping, since he'd had to do it a few times under certain circumstances, but Atem really didn't have to care for himself since he wasn't actually _alive_.

Idly, he wondered if Atem could cook. He didn't figure the former Pharaoh ever had to cook for himself, since he probably had people cook for him. Then, of course, he didn't need food as a spirit. _Jounouchi and I can teach him, though_.

He was half-tempted to call for Atem, but he had no idea if the spirit had calmed down since yesterday. Yugi felt a little less anxious than he typically was, but he realistically that it would take time. He did have a week to make up his mind before Atem came to him. He could use that time rather well, if he thought about it. He knew what his roommate was wishing for and Yugi couldn't bring himself to deny that he was right. He straightened up Atem's deck and put it back into the box before making his way downstairs.

Jounouchi was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. He saw Yugi walking towards the table and smiled. It was a tired but warm smile. "Mornin', Yuug."

Yugi smiled back. "Morning. Did you sleep okay?"

The blonde shrugged. "Wouldn't recommend sleepin' in a chair full-time, but it was all right. What about you?"

A shrug in response. "It seats two comfortably when sitting properly. But it I slept okay." He received a soft chuckle. He took a sip of his coffee, set it down, then made a contemplative face. He decided at this point that it was utterly pointless in keeping anything from Jounouchi. Not because he wouldn't find out, but because it wasn't fair to him when he was going so far out of his way to help him. "Hey, Jounouchi."

"Mm."

"Have you thought about what it would be like to have Atem living with us?" He hoped his question didn't cause any unnecessary anger, but he wanted to know Jounouchi's side of things. He got worried when the blonde frowned, but his expression was calm and thoughtful.

"I guess he would have to live with us, wouldn't he?" he mused. He thought about it for a moment before speaking again. "He would need somewhere to sleep. I kinda figured he'd just stay with you. He's probably the most comfortable with ya. But he'd need clothes. Can't imagine he'd be walkin' around all day in those clothes of his. Too many people'd be starin' at him."

Yugi nodded silently in agreement.

"Question is… would he help pay the bills? He'd need a job. He doesn't need ta be moochin' off ya." He took another drink of his coffee. "He did enougha that when he shared your body."

"Well, it's not like he meant for it…"

Jounouchi shrugged. "Even so."

Yugi frowned. "If Atem is brought back to life, wouldn't he be the same age he was when he died? That would make him fifteen years old. He couldn't exactly go around and tell everyone he was three thousand and fifteen years old, now could he? He would have to tell him he was fifteen, and that would cause problems because he'd be considered a child in our time. We would have become his legal guardians. Or, at least I would because I'm twenty years old." He shook his head. "This isn't going to work, Jounouchi."

The blonde bit his lip. Yugi was right. Atem would become just a fifteen-year-old boy living with two adults. His birth parents had been dead for a very long time now, but nobody would believe that if they told the truth. "Up until this point, neither of ya talked about this?"

Yugi shook his head, feeling ashamed. "No… I don't even think Atem thought about this. Just that he wanted to come back and he hoped I'd feel the same."

"There has ta be a way they figured it out, though." When he received a quizzical expression, he explained. "Atem was only here two years, but he had ta of learned somethin' about our world. Do ya think it's possible they'd age 'im up?"

Yugi shrugged. "It's possible. But he'd need a birth certificate and an ID… Atem has none of those things. All there is, is some poorly documented event that happened thousands of years ago. Nobody's going to buy that." He slouched down onto the table, his head hitting with a soft noise. "Guess it really is just a pipe dream…"

"You're really gonna give up?" Jounouchi asked angrily. "C'mon, Yuug. There's gotta be a way to do this."

"How?" It was mostly rhetorical, but Yugi knew in his gut that Jounouchi could most likely think of something to make Atem's return more feasible. "How are we just going to… _manifest_ all of the things he'd need?"

"I dunno, Yuug," came the honest reply. "But ya can't give up _now_."

 _So… my gut's been wrong before,_ Yugi thought, feeling defeated. "Maybe we just need to think about something else for a little while. My head is starting to hurt…"

The blonde was dissatisfied with Yugi's request, but decided to humor him for now. There was a plan formulating in his mind in their silence, but he was going to keep it a secret from Yugi. At least until he knew for sure she could help with their dilemma. He could tell Yugi was disappointed again, was feeling hopeless over Atem's return, but he wouldn't give up so easily. Even if Yugi had been rather selfish and self-involved lately, he still deserved to have something that made him happy.

"So how's your agenda look for the day?" Yugi asked, breaking the silence and cutting Jounouchi's thoughts short.

Although a little wide-eyed, Jounouchi recovered quickly enough to respond. "I gotta work at two today. They got me on a closin' shift today. Bastards." His tone harbored no ill-will, despite his words. "You?"

Yugi knew the answer Jounouchi wanted to hear, wasn't going to go against what they'd agree on, but he still opted for a different answer. "Honda called a little while ago."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Yugi nodded. "He was a little worried because he stopped by the store and I wasn't there. He wanted to apologize for yesterday."

Jounouchi was lost. "What happened yesterday?"

A grimace, hesitation. "I asked him the same thing I asked you about Atem."

"About him comin' back?"

Another nod. "He didn't take it so well. He said I was being delusional. Like it was my sorry way of coping with it all and was giving me a reality check."

The blonde frowned, but he wasn't surprised. "He's never been good about stuff like that. He probably just wants ta apologize to ya. He means well."

"Yeah, I know he does." He looked off to the side at nothing in particular. "It just stung is all. The way he said it."

Jounouchi couldn't find it in his heart to take pity on Yugi for Honda's reaction. Even Atem's actions were justifiable—up to a certain extent. Jounouchi was the only person Yugi had confessed to who _hadn't_ outright accused him of needing psychiatric help beyond that of his own means. Jounouchi had merely _strongly suggested_ Yugi seek help, and it was mainly due to his extreme measures of dealing. _Honda doesn't even know Yugi was cuttin' himself._ He wished he could see Atem, though at this point, he certainly wasn't doubting Yugi's story. He'd been so adamant about it, that Jounouchi couldn't do anything _but_ to believe in what he was saying. _Still…_

"What are you thinking, Jou?"

"Hm? Oh." He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "It's nothin'."

Yugi frowned. "You know… you could tell me. It's not like everyone else has had issues expressing themselves to me. C'mon. Tell me what you're really thinking."

It should've sounded irritated, but it wasn't. Jounouchi knew Yugi wasn't looking to argue with him over it—he simply wanted to know. Jounouchi couldn't help but to oblige, a soft smile on his face. "'Kay. I was thinkin' about everythin' that you've been dealin' with. Everyone's got somethin' hefty ta say ta ya. And… I feel like I should take ya side and support ya, but… I feel like everyone's not wrong for what they've said." He paused for a moment, feeling guilty for what he was saying, and added a final note as a means of an apology. "I just wish I could see Atem for myself. I'm not doubtin' ya on that at all, Yuug. Seein' him's enough for me."

Yugi wasn't mad at all at Jounouchi's confession. He was glad the other was being so honest and forthcoming with him. It just meant that he would have to maintain that same level of honesty in return. He figured he could handle as much. He didn't know what to say in response, however, and only sat in his seat silently. Jounouchi took it as him being upset.

"Don't take me wrong, Yuug," he pleaded. "I wish this had all gone differently."

"I'm not mad, Jounouchi." He shrugged. "I get it. I don't know if Atem would be willing to show himself to you. At this point, it'd be a miracle if he even wanted to return after how I've been treating him lately. It's a wonder you guys are still around after how I've treated _all_ of you, really. But I guess there's some damage control I need to take care of if I want things to get better."

Jounouchi tried to offer a smile, but it was hesitant. He was keeping something from Yugi and he felt bad for it. It made him think of himself as a hypocrite and it left a bad taste on his tongue. Words that wanted to come out that he knew would put a little faith back into Yugi's spirit; but he kept them a secret for now. He wanted to wait until he had the answer from her before coming back to Yugi.


	12. Chapter 12

Jounouchi took a glance at the oven's clock. It was still early yet, didn't need to leave for work yet, but he wanted to leave a little earlier so he could tend to his personal errand. He looked back at Yugi, who had gotten up to get another cup of coffee before making his way back to his seat.

Yugi took a sip before speaking. "I figured I could make a call to Listening Ear. See what they could do about making an appointment, or just to talk to them. Then maybe call Honda back and talk to him."

The blonde smiled at the answer, genuinely happy for his friend. "Das a good idea, Yuug. I'm sure Honda wants ta talk ta ya." His smile lost some wattage when Yugi gave a sarcastic look, but he maintained his disposition. "I'm probably gonna leave a bit earlier today. There's somethin' I gotta do today beforehand."

Yugi gave a curious expression.

"It's a secret." He winked. "I'll tell ya once I know the answer. How 'bout that?" A smile and shrug in response, but Jounouchi took it as acceptable.

Yugi frowned, but didn't press. He supposed Jounouchi was entitled to a little secrecy. That didn't curb his curiosity, however. He drank his coffee in silence with Jounouchi, enjoying it until the blonde would have to start getting ready to leave. Jounouchi left about an hour before having to work, simply because he liked to wander a bit on his way. He didn't like coming in last minute in a rush because it made his workday more challenging than it needed to be. Yugi understood because he did the same thing. Still, he wondered idly how early Jounouchi would excuse himself today. He realized that, in leaving, Jounouchi was putting his faith on Yugi to do as he was asked. Yugi didn't have any desire to break that faith, but wasn't happy about it, nonetheless.

Jounouchi stood up from the table and deposited his cup into the sink. "Gotta get ready ta leave." It was a simple enough statement, one that didn't require much more explanation than that.

Still, Yugi wanted to know what it was the blonde had in mind. He had no doubt in his mind that the answer would eventually make its way back to him, but he was rather impatient anymore. Either things were going to happen or they weren't. He decided to take care of the dishes. It was childish, but if Jounouchi could keep a secret, so could Yugi. _He doesn't need to hear me talking to the counselor._

When Jounouchi announced his leave, Yugi decided he was going to call Honda back. He wasn't sure if Honda was going to start bombarding him with questions about why the store was still closed, or discuss what happened the day before, but he hoped that his words and actions hadn't left too much damage on their friendship. There were only a couple of rings before the phone had been answered.

"Yugi." The tone was surprised, relieved, and worried all at once. Yugi would have to ask how he did that.

"Hi, Honda." He tried to sound casual, avoid stirring any excited emotions from the other man. "I got your message."

"Yeah? What's that all about? How come you didn't open the store?"

Yugi hesitated for a moment. "Well… yesterday didn't get any better after leaving and Jounouchi sort of put me on house arrest. We were both up most of the night."

"Why house arrest?" He was confused, but Yugi also sensed that he was starting it develop a worried tone.

"Um…" He didn't want to give Honda another excuse to yell at him—once to the face was enough. He didn't need it over the phone.

"Yugi," Honda pressed. "I promise I won't chew you out. I'm sorry I did it yesterday. I'm just worried about you, dude."

"I know." Even though his friend had expressed his concerns and said he wouldn't treat him like a broken child, Yugi still felt leery about telling him what he'd been doing over the past couple weeks. The thought of it made him crave it, the itch burning in the back of his mind, but he did his best to push it aside.

"Well, don't keep me hangin', bud." It was lighthearted and curious.

Still, Yugi was hesitant. He let out a shaky sigh, fearful of Honda's reaction. No matter how Honda spoke, he doubted the other man would just silently accept what Yugi had done. He was significantly more single-minded than Jounouchi, though that didn't make him a bad friend. "It's really stupid." He was trying not to justify himself, but to already bring up the fact that he knew his actions were done without a straight mind.

"Yugi." This time, Honda's voice was firmer, though not angry.

In that moment, Yugi felt trapped and compelled to speak. "I was cutting myself." It wasn't eloquent, wasn't smooth, but it was an answer. He immediately braced himself with a sharp intake of breath to keep himself from blabbing another answer to ease out the bluntness of his former statement, knowing that nothing would exactly soothe Honda's reaction, should it be bad.

However, instead of a loud outburst of rage and confusion, there was silence. Yugi half-wondered if his friend had hung up, but there was no dial tone to be heard. Considering Honda didn't actually hang up on him, he could just _feel_ the wheels turning in the other man's head as he tried to come up with a reasonable response.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity to Yugi, he heard Honda take in a breath, as if ready to say something, and Yugi remained dutifully quiet until the words were uttered.

"You were _cutting_?" The single question was filled with a few different things—confusion, disbelief, anger, shock, sadness.

Yugi didn't think it was possible to convey so much emotion into three little words, but they did. He felt his core shake a bit, ridiculed with guilt for being the reason Honda was experiencing so many emotions at once. The other man may have been hard-headed and on the raging side, but it certainly didn't mean he was exempt from other feelings. He didn't know how to ease the feelings the other was experiencing, could only stand there in silence and wait for the other to compose himself to continue speaking.

It felt like ages before that happened and Yugi didn't know what he felt more of—relief or guilt.

"So what are we supposed to do then, Yugi?" It was spoken like a question, but it was more rhetorical than anything. Honda's voice was laced with disappointment and wasn't truthfully seeking an answer from Yugi. He was trying not to unleash onto the other through the phone, to stay as composed as possible, and if he didn't remember to breathe, he was going to do the exact opposite of composed. He'd already tried being something short of a bully to Yugi, and he felt guilty for it. It wasn't necessarily a best friend move on his part, but when coddling him got nowhere, what else was he supposed to do? His friend needed to see that what he was doing wasn't healthy. _But… Jou already has him on house arrest. He must know_ , he reasoned.

"Honda?" Yugi mentally winced at his own voice. He sounded so timid, like the teenager he used to be. _The hell did that come from?_

"Ah, I'm sorry Yugi," came the sheepish reply. "I honestly wasn't expecting a response like that. Just thought you were smarter than that, was all."

Yugi bristled at this, but he kept his anger in check and waited for the other man to say more. It felt like another lifetime was passing before his eyes by the time this happened.

"Spouting off about Atem coming back was one thing, but this?" He sighed and Yugi's anger amplified. "I'm guessing Jounouchi already did everything to keep you from doing this, then? I sure hope so, anyway." There was another pause, like he was struggling to find his words. "Well, I gotta go, bud. I have to be to work soon."

Yugi couldn't find it in himself to respond, only stood in silence as he waited for the dial tone to signalize Honda's hanging up. He slammed the phone back onto the receiver, continued to stand in place, and fumed. He didn't understand why his friend was being so close-minded. Maybe it was true that Honda was a bit more black and white than he thought, but it still nagged at Yugi that he could treat the other so poorly. _It's not like I'm doing drugs_ …

Jounouchi approached the museum in what he thought was record time. He hadn't exactly made it his priority to map out the place's location, but he figured he couldn't be too far off once he was in the area. It wasn't necessarily out of his way to find the place, though he still would've preferred not to have come to the museum at all. Though, the reason was far too important for him not to. He made his way up the steps and inside to find Ishizu. He figured if there was anyone who could help, or had some knowledge of The Underworld's rules, she would.

He managed to find her in no time at all, and her reaction upon seeing him was a combination of surprise and delight. Technically, she hadn't seen Jounouchi in three years—mainly because he didn't make it a point to step into the museum, and also because she preferred to shop in a store less commercialized.

"Hello, Jounouchi," she greeted, her voice as proud and smooth as ever. She had a small smile on her face, but her eyes beamed.

"Heya," the blonde replied, raising an arm up, fingers spread apart in a lazy wave. He made his way up to her to close the gap to avoid any potential eavesdroppers, and lowered his voice before saying, "Sorry ta get straight down ta business, but I gotta question I need ta ask ya."

"Oh?" Her smile dropped and her expression changed. "Perhaps it'd be better to find a more secluded area for this?"

Jounouchi nodded, instantly liking that idea. Ishizu began walking in another direction and Jounouchi followed suit. Once they were in a new area, closed off and without passersby like she promised, Jounouchi took no time in explaining.

"Okay, so… This is gonna sound like crazy talk, but… Atem's comin' back."

At first, Ishizu's face was one of shock, though well-composed. Then, her expression changed to disbelief; before finally, changing into contemplative. "I see… What are the circumstances of this situation? Do you know?"

A nod. "Yeah. Atem took a bit, but he told Yuug he was comin' back. Catch is… they can't need each other in order for him ta come back. But Yuug's startin' ta believe Atem won't be able to come back."

"Why is that?"

The blonde grimaced. "He's gotten too depressed ta think positively anymore. Everythin's just doom and gloom wit him. The way he sees it… Atem's gonna come back as a teen and Yuug will have ta be his guardian. An' that won't work out 'cause Atem would just be a kid outta nowhere."

"I see the dilemma," Ishizu replied calmly. "If there's anything Yugi shouldn't worry about, it's that."

"Ya think so?" Jounouchi was hopeful.

She nodded. "Realistically speaking, it would make sense that the Pharaoh would return from the age he died. But Atem must know this fact already. He would ask about becoming older to spare Yugi that burden." She paused for a beat before continuing. "I can't validate what I'm saying, but if The Underworld is going to give the Pharaoh a second chance, there's no reason why they can't bring him up to age. Things will fall into place, as they generally do. The time it takes to do so just depends on those who influence it. Although… I must ask. What has happened to Yugi in the past three years? You say he's succumbing to depression?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. He lost his gramps about a year after Atem left and he took it pretty hard. Had a pretty bad relapse for a little while here, but… I guess it coulda been worse. Thinkin' 'bout it now, guess I should be pretty happy he hasn't done worse to himself." A sad smile etched onto his face.

"I see…" Her voice was carefully guarded of emotions, but delved no further into the subject. "Was there more to your question?"

"Yeah."

Yugi had managed to finally calm himself down after the abrupt ending with Honda, but he couldn't help that he still saw some red in his eyes. He couldn't understand why Honda was being so closed off about the entire thing. Was it absurd? Yes; it absolutely was. Had they endured stranger things before? Yes. Far too many times, at that. Yugi had had enough adventure to last a few lifetimes, and he desperately hoped he'd only have to endure the one he was given. He didn't have the strength to handle many more than that.

In the span of him pacing for several minutes, he had managed to regain a bit of brain power to locate his laptop to find the number to the Listening Ear. It wasn't very far from his apartment—maybe no more than fifteen minutes without waiting for the pedestrian light—but he wasn't ready for a face-to-face session. He knew what he'd told Jounouchi, but it turned out he felt safer not knowing what kind of expression was on the stranger's face. That poor soul who'd have to deal with Yugi's sob story about a boy leaving him behind.

 _God. It does sound like a shitty love story…_ He audibly groaned and slouched back onto his sofa. _When did this happen? Was I always like this with him?_ He scoffed at himself and walked back into the kitchen to grab the phone. His resolve was crumbling slightly as he picked it up, but he was determined to make the call. It seemed unlikely that a stranger could be of any help, but Yugi felt that in some situations, an outsider's perspective could help clear any confusing winds.

He walked back into the living room to take refuge in his comfort zone—that dark green sofa he adored so much through happiness and despair—and slowly typed in the number. There was a moment of hesitation before he finally relented and pressed the dial button, holding the phone up to his ear.

The answer was almost immediate and Yugi felt a slight sense of dread that he didn't have more time to back out.

"Listening Ear Crisis, my name is Kayla."

Yugi was grateful her voice wasn't chipper or upbeat, but found that it was calming and inviting. At the very least, he'd managed to get someone who wasn't overly excitable or too emotionally numbed out to help him. Still, it took a moment for him to find his voice.

"H-hi… Uh… I have this… issue that I wanna… wanna talk about…"


	13. Chapter 13

"Okay, what is it you want to talk about?"

Her voice remained as soothing and calm as ever, and Yugi felt as if though she would string up a confession of more than he was willing to reveal. He supposed it was part of her job to help coax out problems that people had issues exposing, but there were definitely some aspects of his story that no one outside of the fold needed to know about. Things that would warrant more fear than understanding.

"It's stupid," he muttered lamely, still trying to figure out how to word everything. He wasn't even sure how to begin. _How do you even begin to tell a stranger your story?_

"I'm all ears," she replied. "Whatever is bothering you, I'm here to listen."

"How do I even start?" Yugi asked, feeling hopeless.

"Wherever you want," she said simply. "But I can help you with this. How have you been feeling lately?"

"Miserable."

"Why? What's bothering you?"

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Too much to really say…"

"Break it down for me?" She paused for a moment, waited for Yugi to speak, but he didn't. She prompted him a little more. "How long has this feeling been going on?"

"Three years," he replied quietly.

"That's a long time," she pointed out. "Is this the first time you've really sought out help for yourself?"

Yugi nodded, then realized she couldn't hear that over the phone. "… Yes."

"Why did you wait so long?"

"Because I wasn't…" He pursed his lips, contemplating on hanging up or telling her the truth. Jounouchi and Honda weren't wrong—Yugi had become so used to his depression, so attached, that it became part of his everyday life. It was comforting and almost like another home inside his head. It was familiar. He hadn't wanted to part with it, still wasn't totally ready to separate himself from it.

"You weren't ready to get help?" she offered.

 _Close enough_. "I guess…"

"Do you have an idea of when this started?"

Yugi hesitated for a moment, then replied. "Yeah… I know when. I um…" He faltered, losing his grip on his resolution to speak and bring his dilemma more into light. He worried that she would become cold and aloof to his problems. As much as he'd denied it in the past, Yugi was starting to realize his emotions towards the Pharaoh were much deeper than a fond respect for him. He wasn't sure how deep his feelings went, but at the moment, he was too scared to delve into it more.

Kayla was waiting patiently, only the soft sound of her breathing was heard on the phone, and Yugi wondered idly if she was sitting in a chair at a cluttered desk and rolling her eyes at his silence. The manner in which she spoke told Yugi that wasn't the case—she'd been understanding and gently prompting thus far—and he felt bad for poorly judging her character.

His hand raised up and balled into a fist as he struggled to get the words out. He was really going to admit the initial cause of his depression and he felt so childish for admitting it. _I'm not a fucking teenager._ "It was when he left me." He spoke the words so quietly that he was afraid she didn't hear him at first. To his chagrin and relief, she had. He hated the mixed emotions, hated that he always battled with them.

"Why did he leave?"

Yugi found it was so difficult to explain this to a stranger, and he was only glad she wasn't as persistent as Honda was about obtaining answers. He didn't know if he could deal with that right now. This whole conversation was such a struggle for him. "Because of me…" It wasn't truthful, yet it was at the same time. _He left me because of me._

"Were you two arguing?"

He shook his head, then felt stupid for a moment. "No… it's not that. We just… had an issue we couldn't see eye-to-eye on…"

"It was too important an issue to you both that you couldn't find a middle ground?"

"Yeah."

"But he sounds important to you," she concluded with finality. "How long did you two know each other?"

"A couple years," he replied. "But it felt like so much longer…"

"That's a normal feeling," she assured. "Time is irrelevant when you're with the right person. It feels like he meant a lot to you, and his leaving you did more damage than you thought. Would you mind telling me more about him? It's all right if you don't."

Yugi let out a shaky sigh and rubbed his free palm against his jeans; though it felt clammy no matter how much he rubbed it. "What, um… do you want to know?"

"Anything you want," she replied. "You can tell me how he made you feel, when you last had an argument, or a time you two did something together."

"I admired him a lot," he said finally after a long several seconds of silence. "Back then, I was so meek and small… He was always there for me. Always looked after me. I don't know how I managed before I met him. I think the times I had before him just sort of became a distant memory. Or maybe I abandoned them ever happening in the first place just so I would think they were all a stream of bad dreams. Sometimes I felt like I could never catch up to him. I felt like he was out of my reach."

"Why did you think that?"

"The way he carried himself," he replied simply.

She waited patiently for him to continue. Yugi wished she wouldn't.

"He always kept his head high," he finally explained. "His back was straight and it never seemed to falter. He was always so sure of everything he did when he did it. Like… he just knew it would fall in line like he expected. I was never that confident in anything I did. Any decision I made was skeptical. I didn't think they'd work out most of the time. I felt like I burdened him more than anything."

"But that wasn't the case, was it?"

 _No… no, it wasn't. Atem's always been there for me when I was down. He's always helped me to believe in myself. And when his words couldn't reach me anymore, he felt like he couldn't help me anymore. He felt hopeless. What he did… it was a last-ditch effort to open my eyes, and I still wouldn't let him in. God, I'm such an idiot._

Under no control of his own, tears started pouring from his eyes. He felt stupid, selfish, and alone. Atem had stayed true to his word thus far by not appearing before him, and Yugi desperately wanted to get off the phone to beg for him to come back. He could hear himself sniffling, knew Kayla could too; but he couldn't stop the tears from coming out. Still, she didn't push him to speak.

"No," he muttered. His voice was shaky and cracked, but he'd managed at least one word. He completely acknowledged the fact that no matter how much he'd pushed the other away, he would always have his back in one way or another. He sniffled and his first thought was to apologize.

Kayla expressed a small sound of acknowledgement, but it wasn't criticizing in any means. "Honey, you have nothing to apologize for."

"I feel stupid," he admitted, offering a small smile in hopes that she'd catch what he was trying to do. It was only his first session with this woman, and it was already way more intense than he'd wanted it to be. It felt nice to know that she wasn't judging him, though; and that was just enough encouragement for Yugi to stay on the line with her.

"You shouldn't," she assured. "Do you want to end this for now? You're welcome to call back anytime."

In hindsight, Yugi was glad she'd given him that scapegoat. He was emotionally distressed from it, however brief it truly was, but emotions were exhausting when they were running on overdrive. At the same time, he didn't really want to let her off the line. He realized he wouldn't be able to tell her everything, but he could tweak the truth and still get the encouragement and understanding he was getting from her now. His only dilemma was getting someone new the next time he called.

"Will I have to speak to someone else?" he asked, his voice small and he cursed himself mentally for it. _I'm so tired of being weak…_

"Would you like to set up an appointment with me?" she offered. "I can certainly do that for you if you'd rather talk to me."

"Yes, please," he replied, adamant.

"Would you prefer another phone session?"

"Yeah."

"No problem," she said. There was clicking on her end, presumably from her typing on her computer in search of an opening. After a moment, she spoke. "I have an opening next Friday, around four in the afternoon that's open. Will that be okay with you?"

Yugi didn't even dispute it. He was going to take the appointment and ask Honda to work it for him, if the man wasn't already scheduled at his other job. Of course, that was dependent on Honda speaking to him at all. "Perfect."

They bid each other farewell before Yugi pressed the button to end the call. He wasn't entirely sure what he should be feeling, but he felt lighter than before. The call was brief, awkward at first, and more provoking than he'd thought it would be initially. Still, it was an accomplishment for him. Surprisingly, he felt proud of himself for doing it. It was a small first step in the right direction to getting better. He wanted to talk to Atem and apologize for his terrible behavior towards the spirit, but he willed himself against it. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Atem—or that he believed the Pharaoh was still in a state of ire towards him—but this would be another step towards progress. At this point, talking to Atem wouldn't do him much good, if only for the simple fact that he was seeking validity from the other. He realized that his constant need for validation from the man was unhealthy, a result of his crippling depression. Something he wanted to break free of so badly.

 _Atem can sit for a couple more days_ , he thought. _Yesterday was only the first day. Maybe I'll make him wait until the final day when he faces me._

* * *

"Do ya think Yuug's gotta chance?" Jounouchi asked Ishizu.

Their conversation had continued after the blonde had initially spoke of what was happening, and had mostly moved onto what Yugi was experiencing.

Ishizu nodded. "I believe he does, but his desire to give up will be strong. He needs friends like you to keep him held upright. If he's left to slouch, he'll fall into a relapse that will most likely set him back even further than how he is now."

"Howda ya mean?"

"To take steps forward only to fall back causes more grief than a slow drift into it in the first place," she explained. "People who fall into relapse are less likely to recover their spirits because they believe that they are doomed to stay in their realm of despair. Having suffered from two major ordeals in such a short span, Yugi's depression was quick to build and fester; but to have him relapse would mean more precaution and more effort to bring him back. It's a difficult process that's often seen with people with drug addictions."

"Ohh…" Jounouchi looked down sadly, hoping that wasn't the case for Yugi. He didn't want his best friend to suffer anymore—certainly didn't want him to fall even more into despair. He strengthened his resolve, determined to help Yugi get better. He looked back up at Ishizu with intense eyes. "I'm gonna help him get betta. He's gotta. He won't be alone in dis."

Ishizu smiled fondly. "I'm glad to hear that. I also want him to heal. It's hard to believe he's the same person he was three years ago. I wish I'd kept in touch better."

The blonde merely shook his head, a smile on his face. "Nah. Don't fret about it. Life happens. I'm just glad I caught ya so I could talk ta ya."

"I am too."

* * *

Yugi grasped at his own hands, thinking hard about calling Honda back. He felt like it was too soon to call him—it'd only been a couple hours—and maybe he was busy at work. In which case, Yugi _definitely_ didn't want to bother him. Although, if Yugi truly thought about it, it was his store. He could open it and close it as often as he liked. He tried being gracious by keeping it open seven days a week, with the exception of a couple holidays, and it felt strange to close it unexpectedly. Or, more accurately, to never bothering to open it in the first place. He hadn't posted any signs of forewarning to his customers about his absences, and for that, he felt guilty. He owed them something of an explanation without going too far into his situation. He wondered if there were any messages on the phone, suspected there were, and considered walking up there. He had an itch in the back of his mind that said it would be vendors wanting to talk to him about upcoming deliveries, but his trust with Jounouchi was fairly cracked. He didn't want to keep adding to the damages.

He sighed and forced himself to sit back down on his sofa. He supposed if he were in Honda's shoes, he'd want some time before the person he was upset with talked to him again. Then again, he wasn't in Honda's shoes and didn't want to react the same way Honda did. He couldn't understand the change of heart in the man. He'd always been so supportive during Yugi's dueling days. What changed? Their adventures that happened _because_ of Atem and _because_ of Duel Monsters were so much more life-threatening than anything Yugi was doing to himself now.

 _Maybe that's his issue, though?_ he thought.

Everything that had happened to them and to Yugi wasn't the direct result of Yugi unleashing it onto others—it had all happened for reasons out of their control. Yugi had control to seek help earlier, when his depression was budding. He had a choice when he thought all those times about suicide. He had the capability to prevent himself from cutting. He'd let his emotions win, let his despair take over. Honda didn't have an issue with Atem returning, but he certainly had an issue with Yugi using Atem as a scapegoat for his pain.

 _He does care…_

He groaned in frustration with himself. He couldn't understand why he'd been so blind before, but the answer was painstakingly obvious at the same time. He'd been so wound up in himself and his own misery, that he couldn't see what everyone else was trying to tell him. Still, he'd allow Honda some time to himself—just to be safe—and then he'd call him tomorrow. For now, he had to find a way to keep himself occupied for the rest of the day.

* * *

Evening came faster than Yugi thought it would as he kept himself. He cleaned up around the house, took care of the laundry, watched a bit of television, and then finally started mulling over his old cards. He'd kept them safe inside an organizer since separating himself from the game almost entirely, and he felt oddly nostalgic. He had no desire to take the deck out and start playing again, but each card brought up a fond memory. He'd missed them so much when he had subconsciously stored them away. He heard the door opening and closing and knew Jounouchi was home from work. He closed the folder, set it back on the shelf, and made his way downstairs.

Jounouchi smiled upon seeing him. "Hey, Yuug! How did your day go?"

Yugi shrugged, a smile on his face in return. "House arrest isn't exactly what I'd call fun, but… it was okay."

For a moment, Jounouchi felt guilty, but he was self-assured that his decision wasn't bad. Especially since Yugi didn't seem to be all too upset about it. "Well, si' down. There's somethin' I wanna talk to ya about."

"Okay." Yugi made his way to the kitchen table to sit down and waited patiently for Jounouchi to join him.

"I toldja I would tell ya what I was doin' if I got an answer," the blonde explained. "I dunno if it's right, but… I believe it over anythin' I woulda thought of." He paused, wondering if Yugi would say anything, but he didn't. So he continued. "I went to that museum ta see Ishizu. I thought maybe she'd know more about it. It prolly wasn't my business ta tell her, but ya seemed so lost about everything. I hate seein' you like that, and—"

"What, uh… What'd she say?" Yugi interrupted quietly. He didn't want to listen to Jounouchi coddle him right now.

Jounouchi didn't miss the way his friend had cut him off at such a specific moment, but he decided not to press. He could ask about it later. "Well, uh… She said that Atem knew about dis and that he'd be aged up. Everythin's just lined up for him when he comes back. Has ta be. He won't have his parents, obviously, but there was no doubt in her mind that everythin' would be taken care of. Ya don't have ta worry about that part, Yuug.

"What you _do_ need ta worry about, though," he continued, "is takin' care of yourself. I know ya don't wanna hear me lecture ya, but if I come off as a broken record? Well, so be it. I just can't help it."

Yugi smiled. It was small, tired, but appreciative. "I know."

Jounouchi offered a hesitant smile, unsure of what else he could say. His candor prevented him from keeping anything a secret from Yugi, so he had nothing else to offer. Except for a change in conversations. "So… what'd ya do today?"

Yugi shrugged. "I did housewife stuff. So if you notice the place is a little cleaner, _you're welcome_." He paused and smirked at Jounouchi, who returned it. "What else did you talk about with Ishizu?"

"Hm?" The blonde's expression was wide-eyed for a moment, like he'd got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but he recovered quickly enough and shrugged. "Nothin' too important. Mostly just stuff for me. Main thing I wanted ya ta know was that stuff about Atem. Figured that's what ya needed ta hear so ya wouldn't be so focused on the bad all the time. You're Captain Pessimistic lately, and I wanted ta help ya with that. Speakin' a Atem… Have you talked ta him yet?"

Yugi shook his head. "It only just happened when he said those things to me, and I wanted to give him some time to cool off. Plus, it'd be better for me to focus on _me_ , instead of fretting about him. I've got five days left before he comes back anyway. Not to mention, I really should call that doctor back…"

"About goin' to Egypt?"

Yugi nodded. "I know he's on a time constraint, so… I guess if I want to do this, I'll have to make a decision soon. My issue is… I doubt he's just going to hand the puzzle over to me. I'll have it temporarily in my possession, yeah—to put it together—but he's going to want it back when it's finished."

Jounouchi pursed his lips. "But that means you'll have ta make a decision to want Atem back."

"Yeah. I don't really have a whole lot of time to come up with an answer."

"Maybe that's a good thing," Jounouchi offered.

Yugi looked at him, waited for an explanation.

"Ya overthink shit all the time, Yuug," the blonde started. "I know this for a fact. Ya psyche yourself out and then ya bail out before ya even do it. I think this is a perfect scenario where ya have ta make a decision without much thought. Do ya want 'im back or not? An' don't take longer than five seconds to do it either," he added quickly.

Yugi opened his mouth to speak, but it took longer than five seconds before an answer left his mouth.


	14. Chapter 14

"I'm going to disappoint you and I sort of apologize," Yugi offered shyly. "My head says no and my heart says yes. That's what it all boils down to. There's so much effort involved if I say yes—going to Egypt, putting the puzzle back together, making sure I even have a room to go to at night, and getting everything situated with Atem. Even if what Ishizu says is right, there's still the issue of living arrangements," he intercepted quickly, before Jounouchi had time to cut in. "He's obviously not going to sleep in your room—not when Mai comes to visit sometimes. I don't even think there's enough space in _my_ room for him to sleep. Logically speaking, his coming back just adds more issues."

"Issues I'm sure ya already took into consideration," Jounouchi protested. "Didja not hear what I just said? Ya overthink _everything_. I know ya already thought about dis. I'll take a crack at it. We can move into a three-bedroom apartment—we both know we can afford it. Atem can get a job with ya at the game store. It's not like you're broke. Ya make more money than I do. There's _no_ reason he can't come back, Yuug."

Yugi knew Jounouchi had a point—he'd already thought about all those issues—but hadn't wanted to burden his friend with the prospect of moving. It was time-consuming, physically exhausting, and didn't leave room for much else. They were on a two-year lease contract, and there was still another year left before it ended. They would have to discuss this with their landlord and determine if there were any termination fees involved for wanting to leave before the lease was up.

He took in a deep breath and exhaled it out slowly. He nodded once to himself and looked up at Jounouchi. "I guess we should talk to the landlord about this."

Jounouchi smiled deeply and nodded in agreement.

The landlord wasn't difficult to reach, as he was always around to make sure everything was working properly for his tenants. In the past couple of years that Yugi and Jounouchi had lived there, they only had one real issue when the bathroom floor gave out on Yugi when he was brushing his teeth. The man had been prompt at getting someone there to fix it while the men were at work. His hours were posted on his door for when he was available, but Yugi didn't like the idea of just waltzing in. The hours weren't guaranteed to keep him in his office—just around the area in general. Yugi had kept his number, though; feeling it was better to contact him prior to seeing him.

Jounouchi was more gun-happy about wanting to speak to the man face-to-face about finding an open three-bedroom apartment, but he acquiesced and let Yugi take the initiative in this situation. He stayed silent while Yugi spoke to the landlord.

His name was Anthony Biggs. He'd inherited the apartment complexes several years ago after losing his father to cancer, and wanted to make sure all the people who were renting from him still had a place to call home. He'd gone out of his way to introduce himself to every single tenant and explain to them what was going on. Many were relieved to find that there were would only be a few forms to sign to acknowledge that he was their new landlord, but nothing about their monthly rent would increase. Overall, Yugi felt he was a decent person and did what he could humanly do about problems.

It only took a couple of rings before Anthony answered. "Hello?" His voice was deep but smooth. It was fitting to him, considering how laidback he truly was about things.

"Hi, Anthony? This is Yugi Mutou."

"Hello, Yugi!" Even his excited voice was still calm and smooth. He was almost monotone, but Yugi supposed it didn't take much for him to express any particular emotion. "Does something need to be fixed?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," he replied. "Jounouchi and I just needed to talk to you. Regarding a new apartment with three bedrooms?"

"I see…" It wasn't suspicious sounding or skeptical. Anthony was thinking at that moment if he had any open apartments. "I'm not sure if I have any, honestly. I don't remember right now. But if you're sure about it, I'll be in my office for a couple hours today—probably gonna take off around three for maintenance in another apartment—but you guys are welcome to swing by. You have someone you want to add to the lease?"

"Yeah," Yugi replied.

"Do you know when this person plans on moving in?"

Yugi hesitated, trying to think of a reasonable answer. "In a couple weeks. He's still trying to get everything finalized on his end. We just wanted to get this out ahead of time instead of trying to do everything last minute."

"Smart move," Anthony agreed. "I can check for any open apartments with three bedrooms when I get back into my office—probably in an hour or so. I can call you back, but you'll have to stop by the office anyway. So swing by and I'll let you decide on which one you want if I have any open."

"Okay, that sounds good," Yugi replied. "Do we have to pay a new deposit fee or anything?"

"No, no. It just gets transferred. You have to clean out your old apartment when you get everything moved out, but that's it."

"Okay, great. We'll stop by in a bit, then."

"Yeah."

Yugi said a goodbye, heard a click on the other end following a response, and he pressed the end button on the phone before placing it back onto the receiver. He turned to Jounouchi, who had been trying to listen in on the conversation.

"So? What'd he say?"

Yugi smiled. "We'll see him in an hour to pick out an apartment."

Jounouchi cheered and Yugi chuckled.

The transition was smooth enough. Anthony explained everything in depth, showed them the available apartments—all two of them—and the boys decided on a bottom-level apartment like their other one. There were three bedrooms all upstairs; it featured two bathrooms (one upstairs and one downstairs); but was, otherwise, just like their current apartment. They'd made their way back to Anthony's office where he gave them paperwork to fill out, validating their move. He gave them extra forms that they would have to give to Atem when he had time to fill them out, merely stressing that he needed them in before their second month's rent was due. This would make Atem's stay at their apartment legit and would prevent Yugi and Jounouchi from breaking the rules.

The forms Yugi held in his hand as he and Jounouchi made their way back to their apartment just made things seem more _real_ to Yugi, as if his decision had already been made up the moment he spoke to his landlord and had taken the forms for Atem to fill out. The doubts Yugi had in his mind were starting to dwindle as he realized just how final everything was coming out to be. It made his heart skip a few beats. He wanted to talk to Atem, but he argued with himself that it was just a petty need to validate his decision as the right one.

 _There's no way to tell if it's bad or good_ , he reasoned. _All I can do is let it play out. He'll come to me in the end. He's only ever broken the one promise…_

As he clutched the papers, he realized just how much he _wanted_ Atem to come back. It was true that he still needed Atem to validate him, but the urge was lessening. He was becoming more self-reliant on his own decisions. He didn't _need_ Atem to come back into his life—he _wanted_ Atem back. He was making these changes in his life and Jounouchi's for Atem's return because he wanted him back. He was making a mutually accepted decision with his roommate and it was final.

He made his way up to his room to put the papers in a secure location for Atem, promising to take time to explain everything to the other man. Even if he wanted to come back, there was still that notion that he wouldn't be used to the way things went in this world. Knowing this, however, it sort of elevated him to a new plane. It wasn't exactly what he'd call "cloud nine", because he wasn't in utter euphoria. Rather, it was an entire cluster of emotions that swirled in his head that made him giddy, nervous, excited, and scared all at once.

He looked over at his clock and realized that the day was barely into the afternoon, and he wondered idly what he was going to do for the day. After all, his next appointment with Kayla wasn't for another five days. He'd completely forgotten that Atem would be making his return then, as well.

Friday morning came, and Yugi came to the solid conclusion that he was indeed going to call Dr. Haasan about coming to Egypt to help put the puzzle back together. He'd managed to contact Honda a few days prior and ask about coming in to check on the store and make sure he was still in the vendors' good graces. He was surprised, however, when his friend not only gladly accepted the responsibility, but also apologized for his behavior. In all honesty, Yugi was just relieved to know that Honda wasn't leaving his side.

The man had insisted he'd never turn his back on Yugi, no matter what the situation, but it had just been difficult for him to hear Yugi hit such a low point in his life. If Yugi was being truthful about Atem coming back, he certainly wouldn't shun either man. Yugi expressed his feelings towards Honda about him, and Yugi could tell Honda was inwardly gushing. Outwardly, however, he was stuttering over his words and trying to come up with a logical sentence that didn't come out slurred or difficult to understand. Ultimately, the only sentence he'd truly managed was, "Damn it, you're a sappy pain in the ass." It had no bite, however, and Yugi took it with a laugh.

He had some time to kill before his appointment with Kayla, and he had a number that was directly in line with her so he wouldn't have to worry about speaking to someone else. The last session had been something of an eye-opener for Yugi, and while he wouldn't be able to tell her the whole truth, he discovered he could reveal enough that would let her understand the situation he was dealing with. Even if it was brief, it had made him feel considerably better than he had in a while. He couldn't get over how grateful he was that he'd managed to snag such a nice and helpful woman.

Miraculously, Yugi managed to make it through the day without succumbing to cabin fever. He had no idea how long Jounouchi intended on keeping him on house arrest, but he didn't want to press his luck with the blonde. He knew how badly he'd fucked up and wanted to make amends with his best friend. If anything, the apartment hadn't looked so clean in their entire time of living there. Still, there were only so many specks of dust you could gingerly pluck off the stovetop, so he got himself ready for his session by grabbing the phone, readying the slip of paper in his head, and seating himself on his loveseat. If he was going to cry, he'd rather be comfortable.

When he dialed the number, he didn't make it to press the dial button, as something all too familiar started to appear before him. It seemed more dramatic than usual, as if this time was more important than any other time he'd made an appearance before Yugi. Through his initial shock, Yugi realized that it was, in fact, a very important visit from the spirit. He'd completely forgotten that Atem was supposed to be making his return today. It wasn't a social call, wasn't to shoot the shit, but to find if Yugi had made his decision or not. This determined it all, and even though Yugi had been so solid in his answer before, seeing Atem manifest before him was completely emptying his mind of every possible thought he could have had. After everything Yugi had put him through, he wondered if Atem even _wanted_ to come back now. He knew he'd been such an ungrateful nuisance and Atem had been brought to his boiling point with the way Yugi picked at every possible scab he could find.

The thing that got Yugi's attention the most, though, was Atem's stature—it was guarded, closed-off. He had his back straight, his arms crossed, and the strongest poker face Yugi had ever seen. Yugi immediately felt guilt for being the reason the spirit had approached him like this. There was a strong silence between the two of them, one of which felt like it had lasted an eternity for Yugi. He wanted Atem to speak, break it. He didn't figure he'd care too much on what actually fell from the Pharaoh's lips, just as long as it tore through this unbearable silence. If he didn't, Yugi would utter something first and he wasn't sure Atem would react to it in the best of ways.

He got his wish, however, when Atem spoke. It wasn't through the mind link like it had been before, but this time, Atem spoke out loud.

"It's time, Yugi," he spoke. His voice was cold. It made Yugi shudder inwardly. "Have you made your decision."

It took a moment for Yugi to process the simple words. Atem's voice had sent chills through him and made it difficult to formulate a sentence—it was all he could do just to mutter a simple, "Yes", from his lips. Atem made no move to speak, only waited.

"I want you to come back."


	15. Chapter 15

I feel like this one will bring some mixed reactions. Also, I'm going to include a **slight trigger warning**. For those who have experienced the results of a stroke firsthand, or had to help a loved one recover from a stroke, I'm not indifferent to this pain. I know from personal experience how damaging they can be from watching a loved one go through recovering from one.

* * *

There was such a strong awkward silence between Yugi and Atem that Yugi wanted nothing more than to desperately crawl beneath his bed, find a door leading to Narnia, and never leave it. He couldn't take the silence, couldn't take Atem not responding. It made him feel like every part of his body weighed _that much more_ and it actually made it difficult for him to breathe. The worst part was knowing that Yugi was on the verge of an absolute mental breakdown, and seeing Atem stand there with that damned poker face. It never faulted, never even showed signs of wavering. Yugi had a strong belief right then and there that Atem was never human to begin with.

Finally, to Yugi's relief and utter surprise, Atem broke the silence in two ways. The first were his arms swinging dramatically from their former position down to his sides as his torso bent forward. The second was the loud, relieved sigh that escaped his lips. His head was bent down, preventing Yugi from seeing his face, but he could only imagine the look the Pharaoh had on his face. He didn't have to guess long when Atem fixed his posture, though it was significantly more relaxed than before. This time, his expression was euphoric. Even worse still, the Pharaoh chuckled at the absolutely _mind-fucked_ look on Yugi's face.

"Uh…" he said eloquently, prompting more laughter from Atem.

"I'm sorry," came the lighthearted response. "I mean it genuinely, but I'm just relieved." The confused expression didn't let up, so Atem continued. "When I gave you that ultimatum, I had reached a point where I'd given up on you wanting me back. You dodged me every chance you got and made it difficult. I thought it was your own defense mechanism. One that was heavy on the passive-aggressive and a way to avoid being direct with me on an answer." He sighed again. "Knowing you really want me back makes me feel better. This last week was not kind to me."

During Atem's explanation, Yugi had managed to shake off his initial shock and regain some brain function, along with miniscule functionality of his basic motor functions. Mainly those that involved the action of moving his mouth and tongue properly. He wouldn't be surprised if some of his words came out sounding like he'd just suffered from a stroke.

"What, um… what did you do?" he managed.

Atem's expression remained happy as he took a seat next to Yugi on the couch. "I wonder what this sofa truly feels like." It wasn't a question, but an honest and interested muse to himself.

"It eats you," Yugi replied. "You sink into it," he explained quickly when Atem gave him a confused look. "It's really comfy, though. I always like sitting here."

The Pharaoh nodded once, slowly, that smile never leaving his face. It wasn't exuberant, wasn't forced—it was soft and genuine, like everything was where it was supposed to be in the world. In that moment, Yugi had to stop himself from making the most obvious expression as he realized something so huge, he had to wonder how he'd missed it before.

"I ventured to different areas of Japan," he replied finally, interrupting Yugi from his thoughts. His speech wasn't hurried like it had been before. Yugi had to admit that he liked this. "Before I left, all I could see of the world was revolved around Duel Monsters and my past. It left no real room for sightseeing. As I am now, I was able to travel around."

Yugi pondered that for a minute before speaking again. "What will…" He hesitated with his words, but pushed through. "What will it be like for you when you come back?"

Atem took a moment to think about it. "Living quarters will need to be arranged. I can't exactly live in your Soul Room anymore, now can I?" He lifted his hand to touch at Yugi's heart and Yugi felt a strange feeling developing in his chest and head—like something was closing his lungs and running their claws gingerly down his scalp. He could only imagine what feelings could be provoked if that hand had been solid.

Still, he managed to speak. "No, that'd be kind of difficult." He couldn't fathom what his face looked like right now, but it couldn't have looked too scary if Atem sat there regarding him with a look of fondness. It was such an endearing look and it begged for something more. Yugi felt genuinely challenged for not understanding what it meant earlier, but if he was completely honest with himself, he wasn't sure how he was going to deal with them. He didn't think _reciprocate_ was exactly the right thing, but _rejection_ wasn't it, either. He knew his feelings for the Pharaoh went deeper than he wanted to admit, but… was it love?

He hadn't realized he'd been staring at Atem this entire time, getting lost in his head as he did so. His eyes had been wide and thoughtful, baring all for the spirit to see without meaning to. He only realized his mistake when Atem's smile became so much brighter, not quite like he was exasperated about something big, but rather, growing into an even bigger fondness.

"Partner," he said softly, rousing the other from his thoughts.

Yugi's eyes widened when he got caught, and he shook his head furiously to rid himself of the stupid look he must've had on his face. "Sorry, were you saying something?"

Atem chuckled and shook his head. "No, but you looked like you were getting lost in there." He pointed to Yugi's temple, and that feeling returned. A deep blush developed on Yugi's face, and Atem shook his head again. "I promise I know nothing that you thought of within these last couple of minutes. If we are going to live in this world together, it's important that I learn not to allow myself into your mind. After all, mind reading isn't a talent that is naturally possessed."

The other blushed again, but he was so relieved to know that Atem hadn't actually heard any of his thoughts. Apart from his move in a few weeks into a new apartment and Atem signing papers that tie him to the lease, Atem's confession about denying himself from entering Yugi's mind just added to the fact that this was truly going to happen. "So…" he started awkwardly, "what do we do now?"

"I'd really like to explain everything," Atem began to reply, "but I would like for Jounouchi to be here when I do."

Yugi nodded. "He's at work right now, but he should be home in a couple hours. I think they wanted him to work a little overtime today." There was a pause with Atem's acknowledgement, but Yugi really wanted to talk about what he did for Atem earlier in the day. "We um… Earlier in the day, Jou and I talked to our landlord about moving into a new apartment. It's still going to be in the same complex, but… it's a three-bedroom. We thought you'd… want a room for yourself…" He didn't know why he was so damn fidgety, but he struggled to get the sentence out. _Since when was talking to Atem so damn difficult?_

Atem smiled. "I see." He looked down at the phone in Yugi's hand. "You were going to contact someone?"

Confused, Yugi blinked a couple times before he looked down at his hands and realized he'd been gripping the phone the entire time. "Oh!" He felt guilty now, like he'd gotten caught trying to steal cookies. This was something he wanted to keep to himself and Jounouchi. He'd never wanted Atem to find out what he was doing, but he couldn't hide the truth from Atem. Still, if Atem was to abide by the rules of the living, Yugi would have to draw a line. "Um…" He fidgeted again, sliding his hands up and down the phone as a form of distraction, trying to figure out the best way to word himself. "I've been… talking to this counselor—not very long. This will be my second session with her, but… she was really helpful last time."

"You wish for me to leave you, then?" Atem asked, and Yugi was amazed at how calmly the other had said it.

Yugi nodded, feeling guilty, but Atem shrugged him off. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Atem assured. "Everyone is entitled to secrets and I will admit that I am no exception. I will leave you."

Yugi nodded again. "Okay. Um… can I still call you the usual way when I'm done?"

The Pharaoh thought about it for a moment, and then shook his head. "Perhaps not. I suppose from this point on, we should avoid using the mind-link. Just call me and I will show up. This way, you can get used to saying my name aloud. But I still need to discuss important issues with you and Jounouchi. We should probably hold off until he gets off work and returns home."

"Okay, I can do that," the other agreed.

When Atem disappeared, Yugi redialed the number again to speak to Kayla. It was time for his appointment, realized he was actually late, and hoped she hadn't taken another call to fill the time. It rang a few times, making Yugi believe that perhaps she wasn't there, but there was finally an answer.

"Hi, this is Kayla," she greeted.

"Hi, this is Yugi," he greeted back.

"How are you doing today?"

"I think I'm doing okay," he replied with a nod. He knew she couldn't do it, but it was a natural reaction for him anyway.

"Yeah? Has anything happened recently?"

"Yeah." He hesitated for a bit, but spoke. "Last week, I said there was a guy who'd left. … He came back."

"Oh?" She had an inquiring tone.

Yugi felt like he was biting the bait and putting himself into a hole that he'd have to defend, but he couldn't help it when the words just spilled out of his mouth. "He really wants to come back into my life and I want him to too. We've both being going through some things and we're starting to understand things better."

"Why did he leave in the first place, Yugi?"

He pursed his lips, tried to think of the best way to explain it to her without giving too much detail. "He had to go away to do something really important, and I didn't agree with it. I wanted him to stay and he said he couldn't. I couldn't go with him and he couldn't stay, so we went separate ways."

"I see…"

Yugi could tell she was aware that he was holding something back, but she didn't pry and he was glad for it. "But everything is taken care of and he can come back now."

There was silence, like she was hesitating on her words. Ultimately, it didn't stop her. "You said he was gone for three years, correct? I'm not judging you, but I'm just wondering… Why did you hold off your life for the last three years for him?"

He wanted to hang up, but he did his best to hold his tongue. He knew Kayla meant well, knew she was just trying to help him get a sense of clarity. "I honestly didn't mean to. I started out like that, but I was trying to move on. I didn't do so well at that… He's not a bad person, though."

"I'm sure he's not," she agreed. "But it's not healthy to hold onto someone who walked out on you. You had no way of knowing if he was going to come back, correct?"

"No…" _I didn't know he ever_ was _going to come back…_

"Ultimately, Yugi, it's your life and decision," she explained. "But I wonder if him coming back into your life is just going to reopen a wound that clearly never closed all the way. That's not fair to you. Nobody is worth you putting your life on hold for, Yugi. He sounds like he was a wonderful person, but this ended on bad terms."

Yugi couldn't be mad at her, couldn't find it in himself to be. Even though it was only their second session talking to each other, Kayla was so perceptive and aware of what was going on. He supposed it had something to do with it being her job, but it probably had a lot to do with being in similar situations. Yugi doubted she was a spring chicken—she'd certainly been in this trade of business for quite some time. Even so, it was a fairly silly thing to realize.

"It did," he agreed after a long minute of silence. "I don't disagree with you." He knew he was going to dig his own hole by saying this, but for some reason, he just couldn't get his mouth to work with his brain. "I honestly didn't think he was ever going to come back."

She didn't miss the beat. "You were going to wait your whole life for him?"

True to her word, she didn't sound judgmental. She didn't sound chastising. She was so, _so_ curious as to _why_ Yugi would willingly put his life on hold for someone who he _clearly_ believed was never going to cross paths with him again. She didn't understand it, but then, that's probably why she wasn't in therapy like Yugi was.

"I know it's stupid," he muttered guiltily.

"It's not," she insisted. "It's natural for people to want to hold onto people from their past, Yugi. But I don't think it's good for you. You're punishing yourself and causing yourself more pain and grief. You don't deserve that. Nobody in your position does. What happened between the two of you was not a direct result of you _or_ him, but _both_ of you. You both feel guilty for what happened, but you even said that his leaving was meant to be a permanent one. You should have moved on from that, but you held on instead."

For a hot minute, Yugi was lost. Everything up until this phone call had been not perfect, but better. Atem had been just as scared of losing Yugi as Yugi was of losing him. He knew that's not how this whole ordeal was supposed to go down in the first place, but he was so relieved to know that Atem didn't want to move onto the Underworld for good.

"Yugi," she said softly. "I apologize if I made things seem worse than they really were. I'm only trying to understand your situation better."

Yugi couldn't help the string of words that fell bitterly from his mouth. "Oh, I'm sure you've dealt with dozens of love-struck girls who couldn't get past their abusive boyfriends."

He wasn't sure if he was relieved or upset that his statement didn't rile her up like he thought it would. Her composure remained calm and passive as ever as she spoke.

"You're not wrong," she agreed. "But I don't get the feeling that your friend was ever abusive to you. I believe you both meant a lot to each other—and you still very much mean everything to each other now. But I'm still missing so much of your story here."

Yugi sighed. "It's so tiresome to repeat…"

"I understand," she replied. "Do you want to end our session for today? We can pick it up another day."

"Yeah."

She went through her computer to find another opening, to which Yugi took without much thought at all. This session had left him particularly pessimistic and drained. She wasn't wrong, but she wasn't right either; and Yugi knew it was entirely his fault. Not only had he put his life completely on hold after losing his grandfather, but he'd never let go of that sliver of hope that Atem would return. Atem's death had been a precarious one from the start. It didn't seem likely that his going to the Underworld meant his departure was absolute. Not only that, but Yugi's main source of depression was stemmed from losing Atem. Now he was stringing along some poor lady who was only trying to help him. If he could fully explain everything that happened, she'd have a much better grasp at just what Yugi was going through, but he couldn't tell her. She had no reason to get mixed up in all of this. Not only would she not believe a single word he said, but she'd also attempt everything in her power to get him admitted.

Pushing himself off the sofa, Yugi walked into the kitchen to place the phone back onto the receiver. He was emotionally exhausted right now, didn't feel like calling out to Atem. He simply wanted to lie down for a while and rest. Most days, his depression was a source of comfort. It was probably strange to the vast majority of the world, but where the rest of the world provided uncertainty and hesitation, his depression was commonplace and reliable. At this moment, though, it was so triggered and riled, that it was putting him into a new place altogether. It was different from how Atem had made him feel when he was first weaseling his way back into Yugi's life—it had caused him so much pain, like some higher being was tormenting him. This was just another reality check that Yugi was becoming more and more irritated with.

He landed unceremoniously onto his bed, not bothering to alter his position or grab at his blanket, and closed his eyes.

When Yugi awoke, it was to the sound of Atem softly calling his name. He was using his actual voice, true to what he'd said earlier, and Yugi was surprised at the site of the man's lips moving. He rubbed at his eyes and wearily moved to sit upright. The nap had done nothing to improve his mood, only served in making his body ache. Depression was a bitch.

Atem sensed it right away and frowned before taking a seat next to the other. "What's wrong, Yugi?"

Yugi merely shook his head. "Oh, it's nothing. Just tired, is all." Yugi could tell that the Pharaoh was dissatisfied with the answer he'd been given, but he didn't attempt anything more. He looked at Atem expectantly, but frowned when the other still hadn't spoken. "What's up?"

The Pharaoh blinked once, realizing he'd been caught, and composed himself quickly. "Ah. I heard the door. Jounouchi must be back from work." He paused for a beat, then, "I admit I am surprised you didn't call for me when you were finished using the phone."

Yugi shrugged. "It was kind of a heavy thing. Doing this thing where I get better and I'm not such a mopey little bitch. She really dragged a lot out of me today, though…"

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two, and Yugi could feel Atem's discomfort at his confession. He was sure there were questions spiraling through the spirit's mind, ones that Yugi was sure he could appease.

"I admit I am not used to hearing you use such language, Yugi," he confessed, hesitantly. "It's quite different from how you used to talk. But I suppose that's just how things have transpired." A pause. "This counselor… How much does she know?"

Yugi understood why the other was so hesitant to ask such a question, knew why he would; but he shook his head. "Enough to think we're estranged lovers." His response was sarcastic, but Atem's reaction was genuine. If Yugi regretted anything in his life, it was saying that. The poor man looked like he was about to tear in two, and it just made the realization all the more real. _Atem is in love with me_. Yugi felt like an asshole.

"I… Fuck." He struggled to find his words. "All she knows is that we went in separate directions and that you meant a lot to me."

The Pharaoh composed himself and asked in a serious tone, "How _do_ you feel about me, Yugi?"

Part of Yugi was happy that Atem didn't waltz off, but the other part of him was tired of having to profess his damned emotions and feelings for everyone. He felt like a broken record, stuck on playing the same ten seconds for hours on end, wishing he'd break in half so he couldn't speak. Still, he owed it to Atem to explain.

He flexed his fingers as if they would help him get the words out, but eventually, he got them out. "When you left last time, it felt like everything stopped. I was so miserable without you around. And then… losing Grandpa on top of that… I just… broke. I can't say I've really moved forward at all. I've been drifting around, basically, for the last three years." He looked at Atem, knew his eyes were glassy with threatening tears. "I missed you every day. I thought about you all the time. Wondered what you'd do in everyday situations that didn't involve one of us dying. I started pushing everyone away little by little because they weren't you. I can't tell you what exactly it is that I feel towards you. I'm sorry. I just know I fucking cherish you a lot."

It was midway through his confession that he'd resorted to looking down at his hands resting in his lap, unable to look at the spirit anymore. He was afraid of what that face would turn into as he had continued to speak. His fears were short-lived when he heard that same sigh of relief. His head shot up quickly to look at the spirit, who had a soft smile on his face. It was almost like his previous expression, the one that had been so relieved to know that Yugi really did want him back, but it wasn't. This one was happiness barely contained by the façade of a ruling Pharaoh. Yugi could tell it was close to breaking, but he had managed to keep the emotion in check. Most likely to avoid scaring Yugi off. Part of Yugi wanted Atem to unleash it, but the man didn't take the conversation any further. Instead, he said something else.

"Let's go talk to Jounouchi, shall we?"


	16. Chapter 16

This chapter is incredibly late, but I've been going through a rough time emotionally, and I needed some time for myself. I'm not totally happy with this chapter, but chapter seventeen is already in progress and should be smoother.

* * *

Confused but compliant, Yugi pushed himself off his bed to make his way down the stairs. He saw Jounouchi sitting on his recliner, drinking tea. God knows what it was he was watching—Jounouchi found the strangest B movies to watch.

The blonde happily greeted his friend. "Hey, Yuug!"

"Hey," he greeted back, taking a seat on his sofa. He looked behind him, saw Atem standing next to the couch, before he looked back at Jounouchi. "Atem and I want to talk to you about something."

Jounouchi's eyes widened tremendously upon hearing that, and Yugi was afraid they were going to burst from his eye sockets when Atem manifested himself for the blonde to see. " _Holy_ … _shit_." He jumped from his chair and approached Atem quickly. "Dude! Yer really fuckin' here right now? _No_ way." He peered at every part of Atem, couldn't get over how he could not only see the spirit, but also see through him as well. "This what you and Yuug went through all dis time?"

"It is," Atem replied with a nod. He frowned when Jounouchi didn't stop gawking. "I would appreciate it greatly if you could stop sticking your hand through my chest."

The blonde instantly pulled his hand back and made a sheepish expression as he made his way back to the recliner. "Sorry, bud. Couldn't help mahself." He looked at Yugi with an awkward smile, who returned it with a smile of humor. "So uh… what'd ya want ta talk about?"

Yugi smiled awkwardly. "This was Atem's idea, not mine."

"I wanted you to know the entire situation," the spirit explained. "I'm aware that Yugi has explained some things about what is happening, but in order for this to actually _occur_ , the Millennium Puzzle is vital. Yugi must put the puzzle back together, and then if the ordeal is passed, then I will be granted my own body."

"How will Yuug know if it's passed?"

"Of that, I'm not entirely certain," came the admission. "I was not told what to expect in the event of a passing or a failure. I only know what needs to be done. Where exactly is the puzzle currently?" He looked at Yugi.

"It's in Egypt," he explained. "An archaeologist found it and somehow managed to get my number to contact me. He wants me to go to Egypt to put the puzzle back together."

"Oh, yeah," Jounouchi murmured. "Weren't ya gonna call 'im back?"

Yugi nodded. "Yeah." He turned to look at Atem. "Earlier today, Jounouchi and I took care of where you'd live."

"Oh?"

Another nod. "Yeah. We weren't really sure how long it would take for you to come back, if this whole thing was passed, so I told my landlord it'd be a couple of weeks. We're going to move into another apartment, so you'll have your own room."

"What would be required of me?"

"Paperwork to fill out," came the answer. "I can only assume that when you're brought back, things like ID and whatnot would be taken care of, yeah? I mean, otherwise… it'd just be like you as a ghost, like you are now. He's going to need your information on file, since you'll also be a tenant of his."

Atem took a moment to think about it before he answered. "I was honestly never told if I would have those things, but I imagine they would be aware of my need for them. I'm not worried about it, truthfully. After everything we've been dealt, I believe this is just child's play." He gave Yugi a reassuring smile, who returned with a smile of his own.

"Hard to say, really," Yugi confessed. "It doesn't feel like 'child's play'—just seems like more hassle."

The looks Jounouchi and Atem gave to Yugi immediately caused the other to blush ferociously. He waved his hands frantically.

"No, no!" he shouted. "I didn't mean it like that. Just seems like an overdose of trial and error to bring someone back, is all. I don't mean _you're_ a hassle, just…" He sighed, frustrated. "Don't mind me. Obviously, I want you back. I'm just an asshole."

Atem frowned at that, but didn't remark. Jounouchi raised an eyebrow, but oddly enough, stayed quiet.

The silence between the three was uncomfortable, but nobody was sure how to break it. Finally, Yugi couldn't take it anymore.

"I can go call that archaeologist and tell him I'll go," he offered flatly. "That's the next step, right? Getting the puzzle to put it back together?"

"… Yes," came Atem's slow response. He turned to look at Jounouchi. "What will you do?"

"I have ta stay behind," the blonde replied. "I can't exactly leave my job at the last minute ta do this—they'd fire me for sure." He chuckled. "Mus' be nice ta have your own bus'ness, Yuug."

Yugi smirked and shrugged. "Yeah, well, it might not be mine if I never open it. People might try to come up and buy it from me."

"Nah! Ya wouldn't do that!" Jounouchi argued.

"Maybe I could ask Honda to keep an eye on it while I'm gone," the other suggested. "I wouldn't ask him to leave his job, but I know he'd look after the store for me."

"All right, then," Atem declared solidly. "Since we have our future agenda mapped out, perhaps we should put it into motion?"

Both Yugi and Jounouchi nodded before Yugi stood up from the couch to make his way into the kitchen. For a moment, he'd forgotten where he placed the slip of paper that had the archaeologist's number, but he managed to find it on the counter near the sink. He wondered idly about how it was a wonder that it hadn't gotten wet, but he realized from the dishes still sitting there, that he'd never actually made it to washing them. Shrugging that thought aside, he picked up the slip and began dialing the number in.

It only rang a couple times before there was an answer.

"Hello, this is Dr. Haasan," the still professional voice greeted.

"Hi," Yugi greeted back, "this is Yugi. Yugi Mutou?"

"Oh, Yugi! I was beginning to worry I wasn't going to hear from you!"

Yugi rolled his eyes, but kept his voice maintained. "It was a big thing to ask of me and I needed some time to get everything figured out and situated beforehand."

"Of course, of course," came the reply. It was passive, uncaring, but still so damn professional and polite.

Yugi was beginning to really dislike this man. "But I've decided to accept and make my way there as soon as possible."

"Wonderful!" He was genuinely excited to hear Yugi's answer. "If you're not opposed to it, I already have a plane arranged to get you—we were just waiting on your answer. It's already prepared to deploy. I can even have someone pick you up from your home or your shop."

The doctor's explanation had Yugi somewhat reeling—he'd been absolutely _banking_ on Yugi's acceptance of the man's proposal and set everything up before Yugi even knew where or how he was going to get there. The nearest airport was just over an hour away by vehicle, and neither he nor Jounouchi owned vehicles. Everything where they lived was within walking distance, so there was never a need to own one.

"Well, all right, then," Yugi stated a tad bitterly. "Tomorrow morning okay at the Kame Game? It's a bit too late tonight for me."

There was a brief pause, but the man replied well enough. "Of course. We can start bright and early. Is eight o'clock a good time for you?"

"It's fine," Yugi replied. He really wished this man would drop his professional tone and talk like a real person to him. Maybe it was just his bitterness in him that kept him from appreciating the absolute control this man had on his tone, but he hated the pussy-footed way he talked to him. Yugi cared less about his feelings being hurt by bluntness—he cared more that he was direct and to the point. Which, technically, he was. But it didn't stop him from hating the man's voice.

"Splendid! I will see you tomorrow!"

 _Good. Now you can shut the fuck up._ "Okay. Tomorrow." He hung up the phone shortly after, not even the slightest bit guilty over the fact that Dr. Haasan still had a few more words to impart onto him before being cut off. He wasn't sure how he was going to deal with the man face-to-face if being on the phone was making him that agitated.

He sighed to himself, wondering when exactly he'd become such a bitter person. It seemed like that was all he could think about anymore, but he just didn't have an answer. Knowing what caused it and when it had actually transpired to this point weren't the same issues. What he did feel was more relief from everything coming into light. That craving to self-inflict wasn't gone, probably wouldn't leave anytime soon, but he was fighting it. That was improvement. Facing the realization of his grandfather's death was also an achievement that he'd overcome.

What depressed him was the fact that he'd missed too many class days. College had been on the backburner the entire time, and he couldn't believe he'd forgotten about it. He would have to withdraw from his classes for the semester and come back to them later. More than likely, it would put him on a probationary period, but he wasn't finished with his courses yet. That wasn't a thrilling thing to realize, but it was the end result of his actions that he would have to face.

Yugi sighed again and picked the phone back up—he needed to call Honda. After the fourth ring, he was beginning to worry that the man had called it in for the night. It wasn't impeccably late—only about eight-thirty—but sometimes Honda was prone to take naps that lasted more than twenty minutes.

"Hey, Yugi," he greeted. "What's up?"

Yugi let out a breath that he'd been holding in before speaking. "I have something of a big favor to ask you. I'm going to be away for probably a week or so. I know it's way last minute and I should've asked you about this a while ago, but—"

"You're babbling, Yugi," Honda teased. "You haven't done that in a long time."

Yugi smiled and sighed. "Shut up. I need to go to Egypt and I just wanted to know if you'd be able to keep everything in check with the store and the vendors." There was an uncomfortable pause that Yugi desperately wanted to fill. "You obviously don't have to open up the store or anything. I just want to make sure nothing happens to it while I'm gone."

"Right, I get it," came the reply. He wasn't upset by the question; was just the same old Honda. Supportive and rational. "I don't mind checking in on the store. I won't be able to run it or anything—too busy—but I can definitely swing by and make sure everything's okay."

Yugi let out a sigh of relief. "You're a life-saver. Remind me to increase your pay."

Honda laughed. "Probably not, but I'm glad to help you out. I can probably swing by tomorrow early in the morning before I go into work."

"How early?" he asked curiously. "The only reason I ask is because I'm getting picked up from the shop by eight to go to the airport."

"Ah. I'll be there earlier because I have to work at eight-thirty and getting there early enough means doing some organizing and whatnot before I leave. Plus, work's been wanting me to come in earlier than what I'm scheduled," he added. "It's kind of stupid, but they have me doing other shit before I start my _actual_ job. But it's all overtime, so I guess I can't complain."

Yugi nodded, though he realized it was silly considering Honda couldn't see him doing it. "Right. I'll let you go now. I was worried I'd woken you up from a nap or something."

"Nah. It's all good."

They said goodbye and Yugi hung the phone back up. He made his way back into the living room to find that Jounouchi was now absent and Atem was still sitting down on the sofa that Yugi loved so much.

"Where's Jou?"

"Ah, Yugi." Atem seemed a bit startled, but composed himself well enough. "I didn't hear you enter. Jounouchi went up to his room. He didn't specify why."

Yugi mouthed a silent "oh" and joined Atem on the couch. "So. Tomorrow. I'm going to the shop tomorrow, getting picked up and taken to the airport."

Atem looked at Yugi for a moment, regarded the expression on the other's face, then asked, "How do you feel about this?"

The other shrugged. "Too surreal, I think. Like it's not actually happening. I think I'll feel that way for a while, honestly. So much has happened with the last month, that it feels like it's all just a really vivid, long ass dream. Part of me feels excited to be going back to Egypt, and part of me is still scared that this is just a joke."

Atem looked down at his hands, in that moment desperately wishing he wasn't still a spirit. "There's been a lot for you take in lately, and I'm a big reason for that. I would like to make that up to you when I'm capable of being physically here with you."

Yugi looked at Atem. "It's true, isn't it?"

The spirit looked back up, confused. "What's true? My return to this world?"

"No," came the reply and a shake of his head. "You being in love with me."

There was silence that went unappreciated by Yugi, and Atem's sigh didn't make him feel any better. He didn't think it was because Atem wanted to tell him something different, but rather that Atem was fearful that their friendship would be hindered by his true emotions for Yugi.

"Yes, it is true," he finally declared. There was no authority in his tone, no confidence. This only served to verify what Yugi was thinking. "Now that this has been spoken, what do you think of me?"

Yugi didn't like the way Atem sounded so weak—it wasn't like him. It was only because of Yugi's prodding that Atem had held his heart out openly to him, was leaving it up to Yugi not to drop it. This was terrifying to Yugi because he wasn't exactly the best keeper of his own heart. He'd abused it, neglected, had even tried to abandon it, and it was horrifying to think that Atem would entrust _his own heart_ to Yugi, knowing what Yugi had put his own through.

"It's strange to see you looking so down," he confessed, instantly wishing he'd spoken something else. He shook his head at himself and held up his hand before Atem could speak. "That was callous." His immediate mistake was dodging Atem's question altogether, rather than answering it like he should have. If Atem could pry himself from his own pride and make himself vulnerable, Yugi should do the same by breaking down his bitter defenses and speak his own emotions. He'd confessed to Atem how he felt earlier, and Atem had done nothing more with Yugi's words. That had stung a bit, if he had to be honest with himself. "I told you earlier how I felt. I just don't know how far that goes. How deep, I mean. You seemed happy with my response, but you didn't say anything more about it."

"I understand your emotions, Yugi," Atem explained. "I understand what you're feeling. But I can't make you believe what they mean. That's something you'll have to figure out on your own. Just know that I don't think lightly of them or how you expressed yourself. It means a great deal to me."

Yugi truly didn't understand what it was he was feeling so profoundly—it was entirely new and different from the crush he'd had for Anzu—but it didn't feel as profound as his crush for her had been. There was so much negativity in Yugi's life, that it dampened his ability to actually see what it was he was feeling. He was glad to know that Atem wasn't going to leave him behind while he figured himself out, but he felt that he owed Atem _something_. Ultimately, what he felt for Atem was a positive thing that the spirit was so grateful to hold onto.

For now, Yugi would just have to accept that. If he took any more time to process this, he'd lose his damn mind and then it'd all be for naught. He looked at Atem and smiled. "I guess I should go pack for the trip." He stood up and Atem followed suit.

"You should also eat something," he suggested. "I am not sure I saw you eat anything today."

Yugi nodded. "Yeah. I'll eat something. Don't feel like cooking, though. I'll probably just eat a bowl of cereal or something."

Atem seemed dissatisfied with Yugi's answer, but accepted it nonetheless. He _had_ mentioned a solid form of food, after all. "Very well. I will see you tomorrow."


	17. Chapter 17

I listened to some inspiring music by Daughter, and this popped out only a few days after I posted chapter sixteen.

* * *

The next morning, Yugi woke to his alarm going off. He'd remembered why he'd set it and then chastised himself for not asking Dr. Haasan to have him picked up from his apartment. He lived on the bottom floor. He realized he was only going to be gone for a week, but hauling a suitcase with a week's worth of clothing and hygiene products was something of a pain in the ass. He was only marginally grateful that the suitcase had wheels. At least he wouldn't have to actually _carry_ to the shop. This was perhaps one of the few times Yugi wished he'd buy a vehicle for himself. The other time was when it would rain. For now, he shucked the thought aside and began to get dressed for the day.

Jounouchi was still asleep when Yugi was finished; and, although it he didn't want to wake his friend up, he felt it would be rude to leave without so much as leaving a note. He grabbed the notebook from the kitchen drawer and scribbled down a quick note to the blonde, saying he'd be back in a week. Humorously, he suggested that his friend not totally "skank the place up" while he was gone.

The walk to the Kame Game was silent and a bit lonely. His music player was tucked away in his suitcase and he wished he'd left it out so he could listen to something while he walked. The music always seemed to make the walks to where he needed to go much better. He liked hearing the voices of the singers while he walked because to walk in total silence was dreadful. He would have to remember to take it out when he was safely at the store—it seemed rather impractical to take it out now.

When he made it to the store, it was earlier than he thought it would be. His ride wouldn't be around for another fifteen minutes or so, which allowed Yugi the time to sit down on the bench and fish out his music player. He was glad he'd packed everything that wasn't clothing on the top of the suitcase—it made it easy to take out what he needed right away without disorganizing everything else. Idly, he wished he had a phone so he could communicate with Jounouchi—anyone, really—but he wasn't longing for a cellphone any other time. Just a fleeting desire.

Yugi wasn't sure how much time had gone by before a limousine pulled up before him. At first, Yugi's first thought was that Seto Kaiba had come up on a business trip and was interested in seeing what had changed. Seto had his own weird form of caring for others, after all. When Seto didn't appear from the vehicle, but instead a man dressed up in a severely formal, black outfit came from the driver's side, Yugi's nerves had come undone just a bit more than he wanted. Yugi wasn't much of a fighter, but Jounouchi and Honda had taught him a few tricks to easily get him out of undesirable situations.

It was obvious to Yugi that this man was Egyptian, which allowed him to lower his hackles just a little bit, but he hadn't made himself known yet. He wanted to know who was riding passenger in the limo, so he remained quiet.

"Yugi Mutou?" the man asked. His voice was even, but Yugi really didn't have a chance to look him over between the ridiculous beret and dark sunglasses he chose to wear. Yugi could tell that he had black hair that must have been styled, though; and it was obvious the man had an athletic build. "I'll be escorting you to the airport."

Yugi's defenses were still on high alert, however, and he needed to know more. "Is there anyone else in the limo?"

"No, sir."

"What's your name?"

"Nile Alluba."

"Were you asked to pick me up by Dr. Haasan?"

Nile nodded.

"You're not going to get me in the vehicle and knock me out with Chloroform, are you, Nile?"

At this, Nile laughed. It was warm and inviting. His voice as a whole was, honestly, but Yugi was too intimidated by the man's size and the limo to really appreciate it. "No, sir. My job is to get you to the airport and where you need to go safely. I think it would be rather frowned upon if something happened to you on the way, and it certainly wouldn't be beneficial to me in _any way_ if harm was to come to you, Yugi."

Nile's answer made Yugi feel infinitely better as he stood up from the bench and grabbed the handle of his suitcase. Nile made to reach for it to put it in the truck for Yugi, and Yugi reluctantly allowed the man to do so, but he asked Nile not to grab the doors for him. It wasn't a pride thing, but rather… he wasn't used to being helped in this fashion. Nile smirked, but complied nonetheless.

The ride started as too quiet for Yugi. He figured he could plug in his headphones and take a nap, but he was interested in getting to know Nile a bit better.

"Hey, Nile."

"Yes?"

"How old are you?"

Nile smiled and looked at Yugi through the mirror before focusing back on the road. "I'm thirty-eight."

"Really?" Yugi asked in disbelief. "You look a lot younger."

Nile hummed. "Good genes, I suppose."

"What color are your eyes?"

The man chuckled. "Why don't I just take off my sunglasses and hat? Are you always this curious?" He meant it innocently enough, wasn't admonishing Yugi for asking, and seemed to welcome the questions graciously as he took off his hat and sunglasses. Nile's hair was only slightly mussed by his hat, stayed mostly composed due to the gel he was wearing, and his eyes were a vibrant green Yugi hadn't seen before.

Yugi blushed at being caught, but he couldn't find it in himself to stay feeling guilty or upset. Nile truly meant no harm to him, and it was nice to be in a situation where his emotions and mental health weren't coming into question. It was a much-needed relief, even if he was going to Egypt without his friends. Atem hadn't made himself known since Yugi said goodnight to him the previous night, and Nile was a welcome source of communication. "Not usually."

"Well, I don't mind," Nile confessed. "It is a bit of long ride, isn't it?"

Yugi nodded. "Are you married or seeing anybody?" He blushed at his own question, but he hoped Nile wouldn't take it the wrong way.

"I don't swing that way," he teased, "but I am seeing a wonderful lady. We're engaged." Yugi smirked and Nile chuckled. "I couldn't help myself, I'm sorry."

"I opened myself up to that one, honestly," Yugi said with a smile. "How long have you been seeing her? What made you like her?"

Nile beamed as he thought about it. "We met ten years ago at a bar, actually. The bar is not the best place in the world to meet your loved one, but it's true. She wasn't drinking with her girlfriends—she was sitting at an abandoned table. She was sober and her friends were completely inebriated. Her eyes were her most striking feature—I loved how blue they were. So, I approached her. It's comical now, but I remember we left the bar together and we both left our friends behind. At the time, it wasn't so amusing, but we've made peace with the situation since then."

Nile's love story didn't start so unconventionally, but he was right when he said the bar wasn't the best place to meet your lover. Still, it was nice to see that their relationship had done so well over the years. "Do you guys have a date set for your wedding?"

"Not so much," was the sheepish reply. "She's been throwing dates at me here and there, but I'm in no rush. Marriage is more her thing than it is mine, because I don't see it as an incredibly important thing. She doesn't like how passive I am about a date, but this will be her day when it arrives."

Yugi smiled, but he didn't have any other questions to ask. Nile's answers were prompting more thoughts about his own relationship with Atem and what it could transpire into. He wondered when— _if_ —Atem came back into this world as an actual person, if their relationship would become something like what Nile had with his fiancée. He'd never really taken the time to consider what love truly was, didn't know if that was what he was feeling towards the spirit, but it had carved its way into his chest and overtook his heart. It was a strange ache that didn't quite hurt, but wasn't entirely pleasant either. It was a strange feeling that begged for a name, yenned for some form of label that Yugi could understand and explain, but he couldn't. Yugi was aware that Nile was giving him curious expressions—he'd gone from chatty to quiet in an instant—but was grateful that the man wasn't asking any questions in return. He could see from Yugi's expression that he was in a deep thought.

Upon reaching the airport, Nile was prompt in retrieving Yugi's suitcase from the trunk, being mindful of not opening the passenger door for Yugi and allowing him to open the door on his own. The plane was definitely a luxury jet that made Yugi uncomfortable. It wasn't large, but it was clearly suited for a small crew of high class people who didn't want the burden of traveling with _commoners_. It left Yugi with a sense of dread as he was instructed to board the plane and that his belongings would be placed in another part of the plane.

The people inside were business-oriented, no-nonsense, and aimed to be of service. Yugi was instructed on what everyone's job was, and he wasn't sure he even knew what half of them were needed for despite the explanation. When he was asked if he wanted anything to eat or drink—which came accompanied by a small variety of wines and food options—it was all Yugi could do to stutter out a bottle of water and peanuts. In fact, neither water _nor_ peanuts were listed as options, but surely, they were equipped with those. He ignored the confused expressions and followed a stewardess to his seat—leather and rather noisy because he couldn't stop fidgeting.

Yugi swore he was going to meet his demise on this plane. Everything about it made him uncomfortable and Nile seemed to find a place to hide himself in for the duration of the ride. He couldn't bear the silence anymore, however, and got the attention of the stewardess.

"Um… excuse me…"

"Yes, sir?" Her voice was sultry and professional, and Yugi had to stop himself from saying anything he was going to immediately want to take back.

"Is there, um… Nile," he stammered out.

"Nile?" she asked, slightly confused. Realization soon came after. "Oh, you mean Mr. Alluba. He's in the front section of the plane."

"Could you ask him to come back here?" Yugi squeaked. He didn't want the company of this woman, but he didn't want to sit alone either. Apart from this woman, who he hadn't even caught the name of, he was alone in the back part of the plane. He wondered what Nile was doing to keep himself entertained, and Yugi was the one with the luxury part of the plane.

She seemed hesitant, scratching carefully around the bun her red hair had been so neatly pushed into. Her voice was a whisper when she spoke, "We're not really supposed to let the passengers walk around while the plane is in motion, sir."

Yugi's heart dropped, but he was relieved when she said she would grab Nile anyway. Nile appeared shortly after the stewardess reappeared in the room, and the Egyptian man took a seat in front of Yugi. He sat improperly to better look at Yugi, and Yugi was just happy that there was someone in the room that he could talk to.

"I take it luxury isn't your thing?" he asked with a smile.

Yugi shook his head. " _No_ , it's really not. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life."

Nile seemed confused, a structured eyebrow curling to accompany his expression. "You're quite modest, then." He laughed softly when Yugi nodded. "I understand."

Yugi was grateful that Nile was such an understanding person. Whether it was part of his job or not, Yugi felt comfortable with this man. He didn't come across as pompous or self-righteous. He felt more human than everyone else who'd been around him within the last half hour, and he was starting to feel suffocated. These people couldn't hide their true feelings behind their eyes—they were judging him, everything about him—and Nile was the only person so far who'd treated him as someone who wasn't piss-level class.

"So, what can I do for you, Yugi?" His tone was playful.

Yugi smirked in response, but composed himself quickly. There was a question he wanted to know an answer to, and, maybe Nile wouldn't give him the exact answer he was looking for, but maybe if he asked someone who was in a similar situation as him, then perhaps he could shed some light onto Yugi's dilemma. "When did you realize you were in love with your fiancée?"

For a moment, Nile was taken aback by the question. "Well, that's certainly a heavy question to come out of nowhere. What exactly prompted this? I feel it's only appropriate that I ask you something personal, since you've inquired about such a strong subject on me." His smile wasn't smug, wasn't malicious, but Yugi couldn't argue with him even if he'd wanted to.

"That's fair," Yugi conceded. "There's someone in my life who means a lot to me, but I don't view them as my friend, but I'm not sure what their relationship is to me. I feel like… it's deeper than friends, but not like you'd be with your brother or sister."

Nile nodded once in acknowledgement, slow and with a broadening smile on his face. "You're not sure if you're in love or not. It's a tricky thing, this love business. It makes or breaks people's relationships with one another, but it's wonderful when it lasts. I'm not sure how I came into loving my fiancée. I just remember waking up one morning, looking at her while she made breakfast, and thinking, 'I love this woman so much'. Mind you, she was wearing one of my shirts—she's only five-foot-two—a mismatched pair of socks, and her hair was in the most careless bun you could ever imagine, and I loved everything about her. I wanted to take a picture with her as she was, but she threatened to break my camera. It was my father's, so I obliged.

"When you see this person again, Yugi," Nile continued, "act with your heart. Don't let your brain overpower your feelings and rationalize everything out for you. If it's true and they love you back, you'll love every moment of it." He paused for a moment, allowed Yugi to take in everything, before he spoke again. "Does this help you at all?"

Yugi wasn't sure, if he had to be completely honest. It left him with more to think about and he was about to do the exact _opposite_ of what Nile had just told him. "I'm not sure," he replied truthfully. "It makes sense, what you said, and then it doesn't. I'm not sure I'll ever understand it completely."

Nile smiled. "You won't, but you will. It's always different. What I feel for my fiancée won't be how you feel about this friend of yours. You'll just understand how I feel about my fiancée a bit better than you do now. Just don't let your brain do all the work for you, Yugi. That's the most important thing—balance. It's knowing when to trust your heart, but realizing your brain is there to help protect you. And above all else, your gut will never let you down. It doesn't rationalize everything down to the very last atom, and it doesn't have emotions to blind it."

Yugi was so grateful Nile could explain all of this so much better than his own mind. The man's explanation had made a lot of sense to Yugi, even though he couldn't quite understand everything that was going on inside himself. Ultimately, he wasn't sure if he could use this to help himself, but it was something to take to heart when he could calm all the emotions that were storming inside of him.

It was even better when Nile decided to stick around and talk idly with Yugi. It was so easy to talk to Nile about pointless things, and that was probably a huge part of why he felt so comfortable with this stranger. It helped to pass the time, as well. Luxury plane or not, Yugi didn't like the thought of traveling alone, and Nile took away a huge part of that.

When they arrived at the airport, Yugi wasn't sure what to expect. Nile was going to be with him, of course, as he was the driver and there was definitely another limousine waiting for them to take Yugi to wherever the hell he was supposedly needed. He realized out of nowhere that he'd never actually seen what Dr. Haasan looked like. In the newspaper he'd read, it only contained a picture of the Millennium Puzzle and the site they were excavating—nothing showing what this man looked like. Yugi tried to imagine what this man looked like based solely on his appearance, and all he could depict was a short, slightly overweight man with a mile-wide smile, balding, with beady eyes. He shook his head rapidly, earning him a questioning look from Nile. He smiled sheepishly and Nile shook his head slowly, a smile on his face.

"What are we waiting for, Nile?" Yugi asked after a moment of silent waiting.

"For Dr. Haasan to arrive," the man replied. "He's coming in a different vehicle, and we are all supposed to ride in the limousine when he arrives."

Yugi's face dropped a bit, his bitter side coming out. "Why? That's redundant as fuck. He should've just rode in the limo." He couldn't bring himself to apologize, much less show any remorse for his words, though he was slightly shocked to hear how snarky he'd sounded.

Nile only laughed, clearly caught off-guard by Yugi's retort. "That's a sharp tongue you've got there. I like it." He laughed a bit more and Yugi found himself laughing along with him. When they settled down, Nile spoke again. "Let's just say for an archaeologist, he likes to make something of an entrance. He's a well-known man, if the luxury plane wasn't any indicator. He means well, but he's rather flashy when it comes to his style."

"So, how much digging does he _actually_ do?"

The man smirked. "Not as much as he used to. Finding some of the more… _rare_ treasures in the world has made him something of a martyr when it comes to relics. He has an entire crew to help him out with his findings. He's more or less the brains behind every expedition, and the rest do the dirty work for him."

"They get no credit for either, I bet," Yugi remarked sourly.

"They don't appreciate him getting all the highlight, no," Nile agreed with a shake of his head. "But they're well-paid and compensated, so they took the good with the bad. Besides, he's not a bad man to work for, just eccentric about the way he does things."

"What does he look like?"

"You'll see in just a moment." Nile pointed to a small, black vehicle approaching.

It parked next to the limo, and Yugi found himself gulping. He wasn't sure why. This man wasn't powerful, couldn't sentence him to some outdated form of death, but he sure knew how to be flashy. Nile hadn't been wrong about that. Yugi found himself becoming more and more agitated with this man, and he'd never met him before.

 _Why couldn't he just be a normal fucking human being? How rich do you have to be just to bypass common fucking sense?_ He hoped his face wasn't betraying him, but he only had so much control over it at that particular moment. As long as he wasn't wearing a scowl, he was safe. Nile hadn't made him aware of what his expression currently was, so he felt a bit relieved.

The man who stepped out of the vehicle was _not_ who Yugi was expecting—he certainly wasn't short and overweight with beady eyes. Course, his eyes were currently covered by a pair of dark sunglasses. _What the fuck is so cool about sunglasses, anyway? It's never wise to trust someone whose eyes you can't see_.

Dr. Haasan was tall, well-built—more so than Nile—with long, black hair pulled back into a low ponytail. He had a very confident smile on his face, small, but very much belonged to the accomplished man he was. However, right from the start, Yugi could understand why the man had a group of people doing the dirty work for him: he was very upscale with his attire. His white suit was crisp, untainted, and Yugi felt the strongest urge to grab a handful of mud and smear it on that top. Just to bring him down a few pegs, and the shorter man realized he was just a bitter piece of shit.

 _But damn, he's hot_.


End file.
